advice

[amy44]

Although i know what i need to do, clearly i just want some help on how to go about it.
my brother just had a baby girl 6 months ago. and i came to visit my family from interstate, the day i got here was the party of my cousins little girls first birthday...
wait, before i go any more. when i was younger from as far back as i remember up until the age of 16 i was molested by a relative. and i have kept my mouth shut for my whole 24 years of living. i have always put it to the back of my head, even though i know it has been the cause of most of my issues...
but one of the reasons i never said anything was i know how much my auntie loves this man (her husband), and his kids adore him, i just couldn't bring myself to break up a family. but seeing him with my cousins girls and my niece made me psychically ill. he wasn't touching them inappropriately but i knew he could and most likely will. and i cant let that happen
i thought about killing the man, i was all ready with a plan but i cant kill another person, i know im not that strong nad couldnt live with myself if i did. and i know i need to do something about it but how? there's no evidence. im 24 and never said a word, how can anyone believe this 'kind loving' man could do such a putrid thing?
i don't wanna do it for me, its about the little ones now. but what about his family? and i know what this would do to my nan aswell
i am torn from right and wrong
just how and what should i do???

 

[Edward W]

Firstly, I'm sorry about happened to you.

Second, I don't envy your position. But for the safety of the other children in your family, you should do something.

Easy fo rme to say, I can only imagine being in your shoes, it won't be easy I'm sure.

People might doubt you, but whatever happens the warning will be out there and hopefully that will ensure those other girls safety.

As for how, I would say you probably need to speak to your local police.

Be strong. All the best.

 

[Naleena]

You have to be brave. Its hard to face an abuser. You say you don't want to hurt your aunt, but its not you who comitted a crime. Child predators hide behind being so called good people. Do you think it would be your fault if the family broke up? I say it would be his fault. You have a right to speak out if that is what your heart tells you. No doubt you see yourself in those little girls to have had such a reacion. Follow what you know is right and have courage. We are here for you. Besides, if you don't speak up now, they may still find out after he has harmed one of the girls. Your silence does not guarantee their family will stay together, but it may guarantee a predator new victims. I'm sorry you went through such a traumatic experience. It does mess you up. I had horrible dreams well into adulthood because of my experience. I wish you peace and wisdom.

 

[Felix]

You should tell your family. Maybe you're not the only one who's been abused.

If you carry on as if everything is fine you're always worry about what could happen. And if I were someone in your family I'd appreciate the heads up, so I can at least keep my kids away from that person.

 

[Peaches]

anonymous letter to the head of the family? I know it's the coward thing to do, but at least you can see how they react, and if they are too shocked or in denial you can think of something else than direct disclosure. Speaking out directly can be a problem if a family is very much in denial, and what's worse they will not believe any further prove that you provide, because they have already decided it's all a lie, to protect themselves. That of course depends on the family, you are the only one who can judge how they might react.
It seems strange that nobody else had noticed anything in all those years, do you remember any other relative walking in into some dodgy scene? I am really sorry for what happened to you, it is so unfair. Actually, maybe a better idea is to confront the old creep, and threaten him very clearly? Like: I keep an eye on you, the first thing I see I go to the police?