Age, Dating & Friendships

[SophiaGrace]

I'm 21. When i was younger (a teenager) I always abided by the "If they are older than you by 4 years, don't date them." rule. Partly because, well, statuatory ****.

Now that I'm 21, i'm not sure what society views as an appropriate aged person for me to date or be friends with.

What do you think?

I was thinking of putting "no older than 28" on my dating profile...but then I asked a friend if they would date someone that was 31, and they said "as long as he looks young. go for it!"

So.... I'm confused.

Also, what's an appropriate age gap for a friendship in your opinion?

 

[Matej]

Depends on what you count as a friendship.
My personal opinion is that regarding friendship there shouldn't be any age limit. As long as it really is only friendship. As for dating.. well, whatever suits you. Appropriate? A 60 year old and 16 year old don't really look ahm.. you know. At least in western world. But 21 and 18, 21 and 26, 21 and 31.. all looks fine to me as long as they're good persons.

So go for a personality regardless of age, would be my opinion. Though, bear in mind that some people might look funny at you, but really, it's none of their business. You live your own life and as long as you don't hurt anyone, it shouldn't be anybody else's business.

 

[Minus]

Also, what's an appropriate age gap for a friendship in your opinion?

Friendship or dating?

 

[SophiaGrace]

Also, what's an appropriate age gap for a friendship in your opinion?

Friendship or dating?

Both.

What is an appropriate age gap for friendship?

What is an appropriate age gap for dating?

 

[Nina]

Sophi--
I taught for years in a HS and a college and I have to say , friends can be any age, I'm 42 but have become friends with a number of my past students. You get really invested in some folks and I have to admit that I have a number of very young friends 21 and up who are far more mature and sensible than friends my own age and older.

Dating--I've seen some huge age differences work in relationships and I've seen some turn to dust. I've seen the same thing happen when they were the exact same age too. I think dating has to be judged according the two folks involved. Just like with friends I've seen the younger ones with the maturity to handle a large difference and older ones with NO maturity. For myself....I'd be guided be the people and not the numbers...

 

[tehdreamer]

For friends: Any age is appropriate. People may look at your sideways if you're an adult and friends with a teenager, but if you're willing to put up with that cause you know you're not being a perv, then go for it. I've been friends with people of all age ranges and I find I get along best with people older than me.

For dating: If you're 18 and over, then anyone 18 and over that you can connect on the same level with mentally and emotionally is fine. Personally, my age range is 25-37 and that number will probably get higher as I get older

 

[eris]

Age is more important the younger you are.

If you are 21 I guess anyone from 18-35 should be about right for dating. With friendship, it can be any age as long as they are past the high school mentality.

I am 30, but I am really not that older than you I look and act about 10 years younger than I am. And my husband is 31 and he still likes the incredible hulk. lol

When you get a few years older youll see the under 35 crowd is really mostly on the same page.

I cant speak for anyone older than me, so...

But I would probably do anyone under 45 or so...I have 2 big nerd crushes. One is 26, one is 37.

As long as they look like girls its all good to me...



.

 

[Badjedidude]

My personal friendship/dating age ranges:

Friends: Any age. I have friends who are in their 70s. HOWEVER... I tend to not make many friends below the age of 17 or so. *shrug* I honestly just don't have much in common with kids that young, and while I can be friendly to them or do some social activity with them, I never really consider them to be a friend.

Dating: Honestly, my serious relationship dating range is probably about... 18-30. As far as casual ***, my age range would be more like 18-45, depending on the person. teehee

 

[Luna]

Also, what's an appropriate age gap for a friendship in your opinion?

Friendship or dating?

Both.

What is an appropriate age gap for friendship?

What is an appropriate age gap for dating?

Friendship = any age
Dating = as long as it's legal

Don't worry. I am.

 

[Brian]

Also, what's an appropriate age gap for a friendship in your opinion?

Personally I would say don't put an age limit on friendship.

Some of my best friends, the most reliable people I've ever met and also some of the wisest, are at least 10-15 years my senior. Some of them, one being my Chief who I basically owe my life to for helping me out of my shell of social reclusion with a little tough love, are 60+.

We're losing a generation that saw a world we'll never see, did things in ways they'll never be done again. I've found it valuable to hear their anecdotes and their points of view on things.



Dating depends on you, I guess Some women I've noticed go after older men because they think they'll be more stable and mature. Some guys go after older women because they're in to the 'cougar' thing and vice-versa. Personally I'd date someone in their 40s pretty readily if there was a spark.

 

[CAS]

I'm 21. When i was younger (a teenager) I always abided by the "If they are older than you by 4 years, don't date them." rule. Partly because, well, statuatory ****.

Now that I'm 21, i'm not sure what society views as an appropriate aged person for me to date or be friends with.

What do you think?

I was thinking of putting "no older than 28" on my dating profile...but then I asked a friend if they would date someone that was 31, and they said "as long as he looks young. go for it!"

So.... I'm confused.

Also, what's an appropriate age gap for a friendship in your opinion?

I think your viewpoint is pretty shallow, SophiaGrace. Dating shouldn't have those kind of specifications. Surely love/affection is a much more natural, organic thing than that.

I'd date anyone from the age of 16 up to about the age of 40.

 

[cheaptrickfan]

Soph, I don't think that relationships ought to be limited by age, except to consider legalities. What I think is most important is the connection between the people involved. Now it may be true that age, or belonging to the same generation can provide a ready-made source of connection in shared cultural experiences, that doesn't necessarily mean that it's a great predictor of compatibility.

I think that multi-generational friendships can be especially great because you DO get a unique perspective. At our core, we are all human with a wealth of shared experiences and desires. I mean we've all loved, lost, hated, struggled, rejoiced. I think it's pretty a awesome thing to share it.

As far as dating goes, you have to be more conscious of the levels of connectedness than of age (I think, anyway). That initial physical attraction to someone is pretty amazing, but it's important to note that it might wax and wane, so I'd hope that the relationship is based on something more than just ***.

I think that it really depends on the individuals involved. I don't have a set age range. I like to consider the attraction between us and whatever else we have in common before embarking on a relationship, though.

 

[SophiaGrace]

I'm 21. When i was younger (a teenager) I always abided by the "If they are older than you by 4 years, don't date them." rule. Partly because, well, statuatory ****.

Now that I'm 21, i'm not sure what society views as an appropriate aged person for me to date or be friends with.

What do you think?

I was thinking of putting "no older than 28" on my dating profile...but then I asked a friend if they would date someone that was 31, and they said "as long as he looks young. go for it!"

So.... I'm confused.

Also, what's an appropriate age gap for a friendship in your opinion?

I think your viewpoint is pretty shallow.

Oh cas it isn't shallowness that makes me feel awkward but something else entirely.

---

I really have kept back from saying it....

perhaps i should.

When i was 14, I had to report my father to social services. I had to sit down in front of a DA and tell them that I felt my father had molested me. It was a very painful thing for me to do. So painful in fact that I now associate older people with the betrayal of my father.

Meaning, every time I contemplate dating an older guy, I begin to feel nauseous. I feel like he just wants to be with me because he has some sort of weird, fetish for younger girls.

My family knows. They know I had to go and sit and explain what my dad did in front of a DA. And i just, I'm afraid my family would think something went wrong with me because of my dad if i started dating an older guy.

o___o


I'm sorry if any of this sounds weird. I didn't really want to mention it because I know it's my own "issues" from past trauma in my life and something I just have to get over eventually.

 

[mintymint]

I think your viewpoint is pretty shallow, SophiaGrace. Dating shouldn't have those kind of specifications. Surely love/affection is a much more natural, organic thing than that.

I'd date anyone from the age of 16 up to about the age of 40.

 

[SophiaGrace]

I guess the reason why I created this thread was because I wanted to know if my ....uncomfortableness...was just a part of my trauma or not...

Does that make sense?

 

[cheaptrickfan]

I guess the reason why I created this thread was because I wanted to know if my ....uncomfortableness...was just a part of my trauma or not...

Does that make sense?

Yes it does. You have to consider your comfort above all. ((Soph))

 

[Nina]

{{{Sophi}}}--It makes perfect sense.

 

[SophiaGrace]

I think as I get older it'll matter less and less to me.

 

[Nina]

Sophi--That's the way it should be. YOU are the best judge of YOUR life. You'll always find a million folks who will be ready to tell you what to do, how to do it, when to to do it, and then judge you when it's done, but in the final analysis it's YOU who has to make the final call and be happy with the choices you've made. We all have to be strong enough to look for our answers and wise enough to recognize the right ones when we find them and bitchy enough to ignore the nay-sayers around us. You're doing just fine, and you'll just keep getting better!!

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I'm seeing a 20 year old. She's younger than all my daughters.
Oh well...it's all good. She a total hottie and she knows it.
Its her chioce. She chose her to life this way at the moment.
She's more mature than most 20 year olds in many ways..yet there's still that little innocent side of her.

CTF will probably wanna stab me in the eyes...but I have a reputation I must upheld too.
Lead guitarist gose through more G-strings