Always thinking of my ex

[jknox99]

I dont know what to do anymore about this so I just had to find someplace to vent. I have never had any problems finding gfs or with the dating scene in general. There have been tons of women who have come, I admittedly have a problem with my carousing and womanizing. Imagine Uncle Charlie on two and a half men and you have me. Over the last few years I have been seeing the same girl and she wants everything to be serious, but I cant deal with that because no matter how hard I try I always tend to want to drift back an ex that I dated during a breakup that had occurred with my current gf. I have never been happier than when I was with her and everything just ended in a really odd manner. Instead of me ending it like I always would, we just totally lost touch. She had alot going on in her life and I dont with mine so she was always busy, that is something that is hard for me to understand because I never have had alot on my plate at once. Anyway over the holidays I decided to txt her and see how it went and we ended up talking for over 2 hours. We agreed we should go out one night and catch up but I just have a feeling it would end bad as well as risk getting caught doing something really dumb. Whenever my mind drifts it always ends up thinking about all the good times we had (the ex) and how much I REALLY REALLY miss her. This is totally out of character as I said because I ususally care about no one but myself. Relationships end always on my end by me not caring and just walking away. Because this one ended in such and odd manner I always wonder what went wrong. While I dated her I NEVER did anything behind her back or even thought of anyone else. I am just totally confused because I do love my current gf but there will always be feelings for my ex no matter what.

 

[Four_in_the_morning]

Same problemo. I think my last ex will be the best catch I'll ever have. I don't have a problem finding other crazies who will give me the time of day, but really its about quality over quantity. All I'm left with now is a huge sense of inadequacy.

 

[Naleena]

You are always going to wonder what could have been unless you do something about it. You have unfinished business. You can contact this woman and see what happens or you can wonder what might have been for the rest of your life. You say you love your GF that you have now. Do you love her enough to let this other woman go? I can't answer for your gf but, if I had a bf who was in the same situation, I would want him to work that out before we became serious. I would never be someone's second best.
I would want him to be happy- even if it was without me. You may need to decide if your current gf is the one for you.
Maybe you can't be the man she needs. Whatever you do, be honest and open. Don't go behind her back. You will be taking a risk either way you go.










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[Lonesome Crow]

My experience with this matter.

Our brain store memories and it's always going to been there.
I can remember my ex-gf being to toal ***** to me as if it was yesterday

Try doing a simple excersize...try to recall a moment of your childhood.
A happy moment...Bring it up to the surface of your mind and experice the feelings...

Now recall a bad moment in your life...bring it up to the surface and experince that.

I can still remember jenni's touch, smell, cent, face..ect as if she's still alive.
I get the crazy un finished bussiness with her..beucase she's dead.
It kind of drove me fucken nutzs for a while...however it's a natural process when someone
you love every much pass away.

I've always thoughts and have feelings of Cherri. (a woman I was dating) even way after I got into a relationship
with Sherry. And everytime I think if Cherri..I would see her or run into days later or weeks later.

Have you ever experince that ? You thought about someone or spoke about someone...then they appear
in your life or you run into them.

Our thoughts drives our emotions.

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Okay..for me. ( Espeacilly with al the break up and losts I experince in the past year.)
I really thought I was going out of my fucken mind..because grieving, hurt, anger are
very strong emotions. I was one step away from checking myself into a pysch ward or blowing my brains out.
I needed peace in my life, peace in mind and peace in my heart.

I found some salutions for me...

Yes..acceptence is the key.

Accept it, process it, and let go.

The more I do, the more I'm able to stay in the moment ...experience life NOW.

It's letting go of the WANTS or SEEKING.
A want to seperate or a want to complete....never the less they are still wants.

To know that I'm whole and complete...
To know that I was never sperated from LOVE or god.
I'm a child of god...so is Jenni...sherry, or my ex wife.

They're not sperated from LOVE either...
In other words we're all one...atonement. At One MENT.

That's why a part of me instintively knows no matter how much Sherry hurted me...I can't hate her.
Hating her...is like hating myself. In other words..for me to truley love sherry...I pray and hope for
her highest good...I pray that she finds peace and happiness in her life.
The same as what Nalee is saying..

To BE in complete state of PEACE and LOVE , even if sherry and I don't live with each other...
Kind of like she's on a life long vacation and my love for her never stopped.

I don't aprrove of sherry's actions or what she has done to me...
Never the less..through experincing the hate, anger, I relized LOVE is the answer.

At the sametime..I can allow sherry to be as she is at this moment...whatever experience, lessons, and
life she chose to live.

No guilt, no pain, no head games.

Peace...
I can also allow myself to live my life for my highest good.
Experince this life...for whatever it is.

It took me years to figure out of how and why my ex-wf told me after we devioced....
"no matter what happens micheal I will never stopped loving you and I will always love you forever"
She was able to fine her peace and truth...I hurted my ex-wf every much.

When I have thoughts of Sherry or Jenni..I simply know I love them without the guilt.
I just accept it..as simple as that. Bascailly process my feelings and let go...
Then I'm here awaken in the moment..to experince my life as it is NOW...in peace and complete love.
No internal conflicts...

 

[cosmicpsyche]

i moved in with a roommate i just met after breaking up with my ex, almost four months ago. the other day, my roommate was in the other room. i was focused on my own thing. then my roommate moved the chair, and at the sound, i got an image of my ex, and wanting to go over there to be together. it was automatic, but now that it has been so long, i finally became aware of this 'memory' still in my brain, that i had not noticed possibly because only now am i able to realize that this association 'doesn't belong' anymore within my reasoning. i believe that is a big part of why it takes time to get over someone - simply to allow the synapses of the brain representing very well known facts about one's life (my partner is in the next room) to change (my roommate is in the next room), and the resistance toward changing one's beliefs about the world can be a surprisingly powerful force that if succumbed to, can prevent you from connecting to reality, from being able to consciously navigate the decision pathways of life in the way that is right for you, and from having the emotional space and stability that are necessary to heal oneself.