Anxious = Unattractive ?

[randomdude]

I am 18 and when i talk to girls most of time i go into a phase where i get anxious and i sound weird and just unconfident! And i discovered that i somehow become more quieter to others and i just feel like i am shouting but they can bearly hear me XD! I have tested my hearing and its not that what makes me experience that voice change and i've talked to my psychiatrist about it, she said its just my imagination.... BUT how can it be my imagination if they constantly say "Hey can you repeat your self" or "Sorry talk a little bit louder"! My ex told me i am weirdo before she left me, friends sometimes say the same, female friends always talk about that i need to change my personality so it should fit my "GOOD" looks.. I am tired of this "weirdness" and i know that anxiety is causing it atleast partly.

 

[perfanoff]

Shaky voice just displays lack of confidence. I don't think the underlying problem is that you have a shaky voice. Maybe it's that you're afraid to be a factor in the world. After all, if you say stuff in a loud and clear tone, people will HAVE TO notice you. Do you WANT to be noticed or would you prefer to be on the outskirts? Maybe it's something else. You know best.

PS Committing to your words - if you don't intend to take them back, you can speak loud and clear. That way YOU define yourself rather than other people's reactions to you

 

[monkeysocks]

Cant say conclusively this is what it is - but you could put it to your doctor.

Anxiety can affect your hearing, that does not mean that you have a hearing problem. Some symptoms of this can be wringing in the ears (similar to tinnitus) but only occurs in shorter bursts of ringing or a kind of hiss sound and not all the time but occasionally or regularly.

Anxiety does alter the senses Hearing (inwards and outwards)

I have experienced these symptoms with the same complaints about not being able to hear me. If I raised my voice it sounded like I was almost shouting to me.

It sounds very similar and could be why your hearing tests were not conclusive because perhaps you were not so anxious when they were done.

If it is anxiety, then things will return to normal once the anxiety state abates.

It is to do with the fight or flight responses during long stressful periods and the physical symptoms can occur even when you don't feel particularly anxious.

 

[Okiedokes]

Someone should like you for who you are despite having anxieties.

 

[bulmabriefs144]

It's not the anxiety.

It's something about you giving the signal "unavailable." For instance, I have trouble opening up emotionally so I come across as guarded. I could tell my whole life story, and people will notice "there's something you're not telling me." So they get distant and more quiet, and I pull away, because I usually decide it's because I'm being pushy.

Anxiety is sexy. It means you're genuinely worried about the other person's feelings. Lack of intimacy on the other hand, not as much.

 

[Badjedidude]

Light nervousness around women can be attractive to them -- in the sense that they have such a big impact on you that you're nervous of making yourself a fool around them. Women like to see obvious signs that they have that sort of effect on men.

But anxiousness? Like... moderate-to-sever anxiety? Probably mostly unattractive to women.