Are You Your Real Self Online or Offline?

[SofiasMami]

I read an article (on The Guardian about The Red Pill on Reddit) and it posed the question - Are you your real self online or offline?

It can be hard to say sometimes.
If there is something about your identity that you don't want everyone to know, maybe you hide it in real life and are more open about it online with strangers. For me, that would be my lack of religious beliefs.

Or, in contrast, social media is great for carefully crafting an image that you want the world to believe in but isn't necessarily true- #besthusbandever #my_kids_are_so_intelligent #blessed and all the other ridiculousness on social media.

I would like to think there isn't much dissonance between my online and offline selves but it's an interesting question to think about.

How do your online and offline selves compare?

-Teresa

 

[Sci-Fi]

Pretty much. People I work with know me, I've known my boss for over ten years. My friends all know who I am and my interests. They might not know personal things like being a member of a site like this, very few know. I often feel some people online confuse who I am with when I have certain responsibilities. They seem to see that and nothing else. I have a hard time hiding who I am for very long. I don't think there's a site I've been on that I could keep who I am hidden for long. When it comes to someone new it can take me awhile to open up around them. What I've learned over my many years is that being yourself is better than being someone else, in real life of online. I found my friends liked me more when I was myself and wasn't trying to hide the real me from them. So I just try to be myself online too, the real me.

 

[AnonymousMe]

I wish my online and offline selves could switch places.

When I'm on the internet, I am free to fully express myself without being secretive and I can be a very friendly guy that talks A LOT, very expressively too. I demonstrate that I'm very open-minded, witty and fun to chat with, it's actually a bit rare to meet someone who doesn't enjoy being with me (unless if we have completely different interests of course). Not to mention, since no one can see my face here, everyone can imagine me however they imagine a handsome 26-year-old man. =)

It's totally the opposite when in the real world though. =( Those who've befriended me online would feel extremely disappointing when seeing me offline, they'd see how boring, lifeless and unattractive I am. I completely keep my thoughts and opinions to myself too, I barely speak and whenever I do, I only worry of anyone not noticing my bad breath. Oh what a world, what a world, maybe that's the reason I play lots of video games, wishing I could be like the playable characters.

Which one's the real me though? It's what you do in real life what counts, so I'm gonna say that my online persona is not my real self.

 

[user 115627]

I remember that a few years into having permanent internet access at home and getting into the world wide web thing, I felt that I had created a total dissonance between my online and offline self. I really didn't know who was the real me. I was extremely shy back in school, but my online self was quite expressive and the amount of emojis I used still sends shivers down my spine.

It has gotten better with time, the personalities have merged as my true self has solidified with the coming-of-age. I wasn't covering up much anymore, stopped being afraid of myself and others. Doesn't mean I've gotten very open and accessible though, because I learned the bad sides of mankind the hard way. But most importantly I stopped desperately longing for the acceptance of others by acting how they'd like me to. You don't have to go full disclosure, but it's better to honest with yourself and others when push comes to shove.

 

[TheSkaFish]

If there is something about your identity that you don't want everyone to know, maybe you hide it in real life and are more open about it online with strangers.

How do your online and offline selves compare?

I'd say the way I present myself online is pretty similar to how I am offline, for the most part. There's a couple differences though.

I was a member of another forum once, and it dealt a lot with topics such as lifestyle design, travel, philosophy, creativity, art, music, aliens, and stuff like that which I don't mind others knowing about. However, that site also covered topics such as psychedelic use, and that's not really something I feel the need to tell everyone about.

The other difference is that I talk about my struggles in the dating world online more. Again, it's not something I can really tell people about in the offline world. I would feel weird telling my family or friends about my desires, worries, and frustrations, and just how much time I spend trying to figure out how to be attractive. Also, since I've had such a hard time, I wouldn't want to bring anyone down with my complaining. I don't want to bring anyone down with it online either, but often times when I talk about this stuff online, I am venting to no one in particular. I talk about it online because I have nowhere else to say it, and I don't want to keep it bottled up inside.

Other than those two things though, I'm pretty much the same as I would be if you met me offline.

 

[lifestream]

There are many facets of my online persona that I think are opaque in my offline persona. In the real world I think I'm regarded as being too serious and taking things too hard and I don't think people see that I actually have a sophisticated sense of humour or that I've endured things that nobody should have to.

There are so many cognitive dissonances to our identities, so many sides to us: parent, child, sibling, friend, lover, spouse... I'm not sure if the true self lies beyond all of that or is the sum of all that. Identity is such a contradictory thing. I often wonder how well anyone can truly know us.

 

[Xpendable]

No, I'm not. So far I've divided myself due to my inner struggle. Ironically I like my online persona more in many aspects; such the ability to vent and express myself more honestly about topics and difficult questions. My hidden frustration can be seen online, what I really think and how I really feel on the inside. This has lead to many people to call me bitter and negative, while in person I'm very much a fun person. I'm sincerely nice and easy going in real life and people like me a lot. I've noticed they like my company well enough to miss me and don't like when I leave. I don't know if it has to do with how any person deals with solitude, but I like to think that I'm irreplaceable; when I'm probably not. I honestly don't care to show my face since all this places are far away from my territory. So far I haven't even meet people of my own continent online; let alone my country who could recognize me. I'm sure many of my opinions will look shocking to them and think they don't really know me. And as strange at it sounds, I'm sure people here in this site will like me a lot more in person and people who know me in person would like me less if they knew my online persona

 

[reynard_muldrake]

I find it easier to speak my mind online. The nature of Internet communication allows me plenty of time for thought organization and properly crafting a post. Not having to look anyone in the eye helps as well . Usually I don't share opinions or speak out offline. The "right thing to say" doesn't appear to me until the conversation has long passed. Whenever I have attempted this in public, it never went the way I had hoped.

 

[AmytheTemperamental]

When I first coming online to places like this? Online was definitely more me. It has, however, spilled out into real life.

 

[M_also_lonely]

None of these. I am nowhere my true self. Here or there, I am afraid that people will get bored of me, willl hate me, or will make fun of me. I cant connect deeply with people. But I have found a few great people here, whom I reveal my true self. But I have the same fear there. I have tried to express my perspective here, but misunderstood everytime. So I prefer to supress and hide myself.
So overall, I am fake online and offline.

 

[kamya]

I'm in my head more offline. Some questions and insecurities I keep to myself whereas online I don't really care to filter. So I guess online is more me.

Though with really close friends offline I'm about the same as online.

 

[LonelySutton]

I think I am basically the same on both. But perhaps more real online.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Both. I'm the same in person as I am online, and if I'm not, then I don't notice it. But I'm myself regardless.

 

[Extreme Unit]

My online self is my true self, mainly because I've always communicated better in what I write than in what I say. I'm a slow thinker, which means I can't crack jokes or make witty remarks when trying to converse with a group of three or more people, who tend to rudely cut me off when I do try to speak. I'm like what Reynard mentioned in that I can't think of the "right thing" to say until later when the conversation has been dropped. People at school and work seem to have enough respect for me even though I'm pretty awkward and keep to myself. I wouldn't want to lose that respect by attempting to verbalize my innermost struggles, desires, and philosophy of life, because more often than not, it comes out differently than what I meant and ends up offending someone as a result. Online, however, I have plenty of time to think about what I want to say in the way I want to say it and be completely satisfied.

 

[Aisha]

All my selves are my real self, since I can't become someone other than myself.
But to answer the question, I think we're all actors in some way, we all behave differently depending on the situation and circumstances, and the people with whom we're interacting. It's not something we can help. But I suppose it's where you feel more at ease and comfortable that matters. I used to feel like I was more genuinely myself online, but now I don't feel that there's a difference or much of one at all between how I am online or off. It depends on the other person or people more than anything else at this point. I comfortable offline and on, but I don't open up much anywhere if I can help it.

 

[NightHawkJohn]

I think i am a little different online than in real life i feel like i come across better in person than online somehow lol.

 

[lilE]

Yes. What you see is what you get.

 

[Paraiyar]

I'm probably more open about certain things online. Perhaps more than I should be.

 

[Siku]

I'm definitely more myself online, I just feel like I express myself better.. However, the more I interact online than usual and whom I interact with, the more likely it spills over offline as I gain more confidence I guess? I don't know. Either way, the point is, I enjoy people being comfortable around me, so I'll sometimes become a goofball in hopes that'll get everyone to lighten up. It works better online than it does offline. Offline you have people questioning why a grown ass man is acting too care free and they think you aren't capable of being serious when the need arises. There's also people who are so bitter that they are cynical of a person who is acting happy or passionate and that there is no way they're legitimate. It's sad really.

I just find online life to be more accepting is all. Offline, If you give off the right vibes, I am very much capable of being myself around you. If not, then well... you'll either get a chameleon, a nod machine, or somewhere in between.

 

[VentVentVent]

I think I am more of myself online in the sense that it's much easier to express how I am really feeling etc but I wouldn't say I am not my real self irl, just a less open version of myself.