Asian Woman and Muslim Man?

[AngryBeaverMD]

I'd really appreciate your $0.02 please: how likely is it for a Muslim man to initiate/consider a relationship with a non-Muslim Asian woman?

Back story: I'm an Asian woman living in CA, where people are diverse and tolerant, so interracial relationships are quite common. There's a lot of Asian/White combo for both sexes, but it's very rare to see the Asian/Arab combo. I've only observed it through friends of friends where the couples are sequestered together in med school or other grueling graduate programs that forge a relationship between them, and the few that do happen, the Arab man was either Christian Arab or not religious .

So I'm currently attracted to this Persian man who seems to be more observant of Islam than most of the Persians I know (wears the Taqiyah and sports the full beard.) On the other hand, I'm pretty much agnostic. I believe in a Creator, but distrustful of organized religions.

When he lectures the prep class that I attend, we would have many instances of locked eye contacts. I would catch him staring at me, so I'm pretty confident the attraction is mutual. But I don't know if he would do something about it after the course is over and the "conflict of interest" is no longer an issue. As for me, I'm very shy and clueless in this whole business of approaching men because I just got out of an 11 year relationship with my one and only boyfriend. Besides, even if I were to do something about it, I'd have to make sure it's not an impossibility.

So what say ye?

 

[AngryBeaverMD]

Wow. Almost 2 months, 166 views and no replies? Well, if anyone cares...

Lucky for me, I decided to take a big chance and talked to him after our last lecture, after everyone has left. It was very nerve wracking! I was completely out of my comfort zone. I thanked him for doing a great job teaching, but I was still nervous about my upcoming exam. He kindly offered to answer any questions I may have even though class was over. We exchanged phone numbers and started to text each other for about 2 weeks before he asked me out! =) Our first date was at this cute creperie to celebrate my taking the LSAT earlier that morning.

It was a bit awkward at first, but as the night went on, we really connected. I found out that he's Lebanese not Persian! His family immigrated to America in the 1970's and he was born in Michigan. He's dated 2 Asian girls before, one from high school and another from a previous job. So I guess he has an affinity for Asian girls, but I'm the first Filipina he's gone out with. My previous concern about religious differences has not come up yet, but then again we've only been on several dates. If we decide to be exclusive in the near future, I will definitely bring it up.

I only wanted to update the community and let you all know that no matter how insurmountable you think your relationship problems are, you can overcome them with a little bit of courage. Even though I was plagued with fears and apprehension, I was able to push the self-doubt aside for a short while and reached out to him. If I can do it, so can you!

As a side note, I scored in the 90th percentile!!! I guess I was paying attention in class after all. =)

 

[floffyschneeman]

hey that's a super cute story congrats on your exam and your date. I am not sure if there was a topic like this before but I never thought it would totally be impossible for a muslim man to date an asian woman. Also, the Philippines is partly a muslim country not to mention that a lot of middle eastern nationals visit here for tourist or med schools. I wouldn't doubt intermarriage would occur. but the difference in cultures and probably religion would definitely play a role. But as he was born in the US, he's probably more open to diversity and interracial marriage.

thank you for sharing

 

[Drama]

Hey, thanks for sharin your story, congrats and good luck for the future .

 

[Barbaloot]

That's definitely a very nice turn of events. Hopefully your relationship moves forward.

I am married to a Muslim man, I am not Muslim. My husband never even considered asking me to convert. Religion is just not an issue between us. Most of his Muslim friends don't care about what religion a woman they date is, just who she is as a person. In my experience, a good portion of Muslim men, unless they come from really conservative families, are simply looking for a woman to fall in love with. And some even defy their families for the sake of love.
It's certainly never a set-in-stone thing.

 

[gelnn]

That's definitely a very nice turn of events. Hopefully your relationship moves forward.

I am married to a Muslim man, I am not Muslim. My husband never even considered asking me to convert. Religion is just not an issue between us. Most of his Muslim friends don't care about what religion a woman they date is, just who she is as a person. In my experience, a good portion of Muslim men, unless they come from really conservative families, are simply looking for a woman to fall in love with. And some even defy their families for the sake of love.
It's certainly never a set-in-stone thing.

That's against the muslim law! But who gives a damn? We are humans, all we need is love!!!

 

[Barbaloot]

That's definitely a very nice turn of events. Hopefully your relationship moves forward.

I am married to a Muslim man, I am not Muslim. My husband never even considered asking me to convert. Religion is just not an issue between us. Most of his Muslim friends don't care about what religion a woman they date is, just who she is as a person. In my experience, a good portion of Muslim men, unless they come from really conservative families, are simply looking for a woman to fall in love with. And some even defy their families for the sake of love.
It's certainly never a set-in-stone thing.

That's against the muslim law! But who gives a damn? We are humans, all we need is love!!!

Well, not quite. Islam allows a man to marry a woman if she is Jewish or Christian. It's just Muslim women who are not extended the same opportunity. And that is of course only if you rigidly follow Islamic scripture. An ever increasing number of Muslims in the west have an equally increasing liberalized interpretation of Islam, so many things considered taboo by more conservative Muslims - dating, relationships with non-Jewish or christian girls, even dog ownership, are happening all the time.
By the same token, a man would be prohibited from having girlfriends, so considering the man in question has dated, I doubt it's an issue at all with him. It sounds like he likes AngryBeaver and I hope she updates us soon!

 

[Thrasymachus]

That is misinfo, muslim man can marry ***** only because in their doctrine the resulting children belong to the family of the believers. Further the muslim man is held of the household and the non-believing women is supposed to convert upon marriage.

Koran Surah 2:21: "And do not marry polytheistic women until they believe. And a believing slave woman is better than a polytheist, even though she might please you. And do not marry polytheistic men [to your women] until they believe." ...

@AngryBeaverMD:

For some further background info and framing perspective Israel just released some 400+ terrorists, murderers and criminals who were greeted with widespread applause, fanfare, exalting media coverage and orgasmic crowds in the Palestinian territories and Lebanon. Why? Because many of them happened to kill kafirs, in this case Jews, whether they were civilians or not does not matter, they are just happy that they have such murderers. This shows well the status and concern for non-muslims in Lebanese society. Lebanon had a civil war in the 1970s maybe he left because he disagreed, with the way things have turned out, but you can never know until it is too late. If I was a women I won't bother to entertain such a notion, such a possible relationship or such a relationship because of the major risks and downsides. The way women are treated and regarded in the Islamic societies that are ruled by Sharia today is worse than what Occidental women faced in the 18th Century. The way Islamic women are treated today in the so-called "secularized" and modern Islamic societies is in most ways worse than the way American women were treated in the late 19th Century. For some perspective in Turkey the allegedly most secular Islamic society 20%+ of marriages are consanguineous(within the family)[1] because that is how little exposure women in that society have to men outside of their family, so little that they cannot find marriage prospects outside of the family. This does not vary with "education" either as in a survey 69.0% of the female and 85% of male respondents in a Turkish hospital survey agreed in at least one response that domestic violence is justified against women.[2]

I have participated in a forum before called "Faith Freedom International", I would advise to look it up if you experience any suspicious behavior. Alot of ex-muslims and women like yourself who found themselves in relationships with muslims have posted there. What alot of these tell over and over is that there is chronological dichotomy to their relationships with these believers. When they are just dating they are much more liberal just like perhaps any American male. However when you move in with them, marry or worst of all marry and move back to repatriate their home country, the game changes, and you treated as if you are a subordinated Islamic women of their host society who is not allowed to socialize with other members among many other much more onerous restrictions and impositions. Like I said, if I were a women, I wouldn't risk it ever.

[1] Pubmed: Consanguineous marriage in Turkey and its impact on fertility and mortality
[2] ScienceDaily: Turkish Health Workers Condone Wife Beating, Study Says

 

[AngryBeaverMD]

Hi everyone! Thank you for your kind words of encouragement and caution. I appreciate each and everyone of them. I know it's a sensitive topic for some. Our relationship has been going really well, and I think I might be falling in love with him. To complicate things further, I'll be moving across the country for law school this summer, and will have to try a long distance relationship. However, I'm optimistic that we'll make it because we've discussed timelines for our relationship. I'm his +1 to his cousin's wedding in a couple of months, so I assume I'll be introduced to his immediate family before seeing the extended one. He's met mine over the Christmas holiday, and everything went as smoothly as I could hope for. As for marriage and the possibility of conversion, it's still too soon for our relationship, but rest assured, I will only do what feels right. In the mean time, thank you everyone for your support and concerns!

 

[Barbaloot]

Congratulations, I'm glad to hear it. I hope your relationship continues to go well!


And pay no mind to the last person who posted, he clearly didn't have an understanding of the subject at hand outside of bitter propaganda and misinformation. He couldn't even keep his quote in context.