Attracting Love

[ladyforsaken]

From a book called "You Can Heal Your Life" by Louise L. Hay:

Love comes when you least expect it, when we are not looking for it. Hunting for love never brings the right partner. It only creates longing and unhappiness. Love is never ourselves; love is within us.

Don't insist that love come immediately. Perhaps you are not ready for it, or you are not developed enough to attract the love you want.

Don't settle for anybody just to have someone. Set your standards. What kind of love you want to attract? List the qualities in yourself, and you will attract a person who has them.

You might examine what may be keeping love away. Could it be criticism? Feelings of unworthiness? Unreasonable standards? Movie star images? Fear of intimacy? A belief that you are unlovable?

Be ready for love when it does come. Prepare the field and be ready to nourish love. Be loving, and you will be lovable. Be open and receptive to love.

What do you think?

I kinda agree with most of what she said above. I've always felt that when loves comes when you least expect it, it usually means something. I'm not sure I quite believe in love at first sight, but I suppose it's not impossible.

At this point in my life, I'm not quite sure if I've experienced real love or if I will ever know what real love is. How can any of us know when we've not really anything to base it on? I feel like the first relationship is always ****** because you don't quite have much of an experience and you make a lot of mistakes in it. Poor that first person, eh.

If only we could have a few trial runs.. it might help, maybe.

 

[9006]

It makes some sense, I think the third quote is quite relevant in today's society, I believe most people do this.

Love is definitely something you can't go out and look for, nor can you force it, if it happens it happens. How many times have you heard the saying You can't help who you love.

I think that if you're unsure if you've experienced love, then you probably haven't, it's not a feeling like any other (Yes, sounds like a fairy tale, but true nevertheless). Personally, it's not something I feel I can describe well, but I'm certain I've felt it, maybe love is different for each person (like most other feelings).

I wouldn't think the first relationship is ****** either, because it's your first one it's all excitement and wonder, it's only ****** compared to your perspective now, but then again, maybe that's just me.

But whatever the case, I'm pretty sure someone as nice as you will experience it soon enough, and it'll be worth the wait.

 

[perfanoff]

From a book called "You Can Heal Your Life" by Louise L. Hay:

Love comes when you least expect it, when we are not looking for it. Hunting for love never brings the right partner. It only creates longing and unhappiness. Love is never ourselves; love is within us.

Don't insist that love come immediately. Perhaps you are not ready for it, or you are not developed enough to attract the love you want.

Don't settle for anybody just to have someone. Set your standards. What kind of love you want to attract? List the qualities in yourself, and you will attract a person who has them.

You might examine what may be keeping love away. Could it be criticism? Feelings of unworthiness? Unreasonable standards? Movie star images? Fear of intimacy? A belief that you are unlovable?

Be ready for love when it does come. Prepare the field and be ready to nourish love. Be loving, and you will be lovable. Be open and receptive to love.

What do you think?

I kinda agree with most of what she said above. I've always felt that when loves comes when you least expect it, it usually means something. I'm not sure I quite believe in love at first sight, but I suppose it's not impossible.

At this point in my life, I'm not quite sure if I've experienced real love or if I will ever know what real love is. How can any of us know when we've not really anything to base it on? I feel like the first relationship is always ****** because you don't quite have much of an experience and you make a lot of mistakes in it. Poor that first person, eh.

If only we could have a few trial runs.. it might help, maybe.

"I feel like the first relationship is always ****** because you don't quite have much of an experience and you make a lot of mistakes in it."

My relative is marrying his only real girlfriend after being together for 8 years. They seem darn happy. Making bad choices is understandable, but not mandatory, lol.

"Hunting for love never brings the right partner."

That is just targeted to a specific group of people. If I never proactively meet and talk to women I will not have a chance to even get to know someone, let alone get in a relationship with, let alone love. So it might help to explain WHOM this book is written for.

 

[9006]

"Hunting for love never brings the right partner."

That is just targeted to a specific group of people. If I never proactively meet and talk to women I will not have a chance to even get to know someone, let alone get in a relationship with, let alone love. So it might help to explain WHOM this book is written for.

I think you're misinterpreting this. "Hunting for love never brings the right partner." meaning purposely going out with the intention to find love, as in, the driving force for you finding a girl/guy.

 

[Walley]

I agree with most of it.
only thing that I would debate is that there seems a bit of a contradiction in the statements.

Set your standards. What kind of love you want to attract? List the qualities in yourself, and you will attract a person who has them.

that line seems to go against the concept of the rest of it to me..
love and relationships most definitely come when you aren't looking for it. in fact, I would say that the less you look for it, the more opportunities come.
and so, over thinking about what qualities you have or want to attract. listing things and setting standards seems to go against the very idea of being spontaneous and "not looking for it".
the key is to follow your heart and not your head.
if you aren't feeling it, then move on. shouldn't need to start analyzing traits and qualities.
that's way too much of an unnatural scientific approach.
be yourself, and like-minded people will notice you. and you will notice them too as long as you keep aware.
there is a fine line between not trying and not paying attention.

 

[Edward W]

I do think a lot of people stumble into love if you like, it does occur naturally.

Although equally I think sometimes love can be found. There are many stories of people using dating sites and marrying.

But you can't force love, it either blossoms or it doesn't.

I've had 4 serious relationships, two were friends that become something more, the other two were introductions by the ex's.

Did I love them all? I certainly thought I did, I remember how I felt at the end of a couple certainly.

I also remember driving home after taking my now-wife to stay with a friend for a holiday, and how I suddenly realised how much she meant to me and how much I was going to miss her. I'm not sure how else to explain what love feels like, but that moment confirmed to me that I loved her.

Whatever you believe, I think the following is a very good statement, and relates to general relationships as well as those that become so much more.

Be ready for love when it does come. Prepare the field and be ready to nourish love. Be loving, and you will be lovable. Be open and receptive to love.

 

[lonelyfairy]

From a book called "You Can Heal Your Life" by Louise L. Hay:

Be ready for love when it does come. Prepare the field and be ready to nourish love. Be loving, and you will be lovable. Be open and receptive to love.

I probably agree the most with this part of the quote. Very true! Heart has to be open to receive some love and caring. And usually love comes when you least expect it... :>

 

[Tiina63]

One problem I have is that I might try and tell myself not to look for love but in my heart of hearts I know that I am looking for it and won't stop looking till and if I find it.
I agree though that it can't be forced. You either love someone or you don't and trying to persuade yourself that you love someone is not going to work.

 

[Dissident]

I believe love is not something for me to bother with, no matter how much I'd like to have it. It doesn't work either way, and I feel like I've already missed my prime for that.

 

[VanillaCreme]

I would have to agree. I believe that it comes to you when you least expect it or don't even expect it. I would also have to add that I think a lot of people get "settling" confused with the fact that their standards don't allow anyone to be accepted. Don't complain about not getting anyone when you have this never-ending expectation of the perfect person you envision. No, they probably won't have ten cars in a 25 car garage, and a 12 bedroom, 14 bathroom mansion on a hillside with three pools, a tennis court, and more cars. This may sound extreme, but I actually personally know someone who honestly expects the person they date to have the best car and the most fancy house.

It's not "settling" when you accept that people aren't perfect. And so what if they have flaws... That's why you get to know them and you eventually look past all the little things. Don't complain that no one accepts you when you refuse to accept someone unless they come out of a magazine.

 

[EveWasFramed]

Be ready for love when it does come. Prepare the field and be ready to nourish love. Be loving, and you will be lovable. Be open and receptive to love.

This rings true to me, especially today.

 

[ladyforsaken]

Thanks y'all for the interesting replies. I love seeing the different views of others on something I often wonder about.

I think that if you're unsure if you've experienced love, then you probably haven't, it's not a feeling like any other (Yes, sounds like a fairy tale, but true nevertheless). Personally, it's not something I feel I can describe well, but I'm certain I've felt it, maybe love is different for each person (like most other feelings).

But whatever the case, I'm pretty sure someone as nice as you will experience it soon enough, and it'll be worth the wait.

Aww Mike - that's so sweet of you. Thanks.

I think it's not easy to describe an intense feeling that you have for someone. I can't imagine. Maybe I have felt love, maybe not. I guess the only way to find out really is to just keep going in life and hope for the best.. and watch out for red flags to avoid unnecessary hurt.

"Hunting for love never brings the right partner."

That is just targeted to a specific group of people. If I never proactively meet and talk to women I will not have a chance to even get to know someone, let alone get in a relationship with, let alone love. So it might help to explain WHOM this book is written for.

I think you're misinterpreting this. "Hunting for love never brings the right partner." meaning purposely going out with the intention to find love, as in, the driving force for you finding a girl/guy.

Hmmm this has made me question that statement too. Maybe what is meant here is where you hunt for love in everyone you meet. I think you should make an effort to put yourself out there, meet new people (basically socialise and make more friends) without the intention of finding love in each and every one of them. That's making the effort to let love happen, because you create opportunities by putting yourself out there... where you're not exactly hunting it obsessively.

and so, over thinking about what qualities you have or want to attract. listing things and setting standards seems to go against the very idea of being spontaneous and "not looking for it".

be yourself, and like-minded people will notice you. and you will notice them too as long as you keep aware.
there is a fine line between not trying and not paying attention.

You make a very good point here, Walley. Maybe one can have some desired qualities they want in a partner, but not to the extent of coming up with this list and ticking the list off every time you meet someone of potential.

True this - just be yourself.

I also remember driving home after taking my now-wife to stay with a friend for a holiday, and how I suddenly realised how much she meant to me and how much I was going to miss her. I'm not sure how else to explain what love feels like, but that moment confirmed to me that I loved her.

Awww that's seriously so sweet, Eddy.

But I think I get what you're saying here. When something occurs and you come to the realisation about that certain someone.. it kinda validates the feelings. Hmm.. this is rather interesting, I must say.

It's not "settling" when you accept that people aren't perfect. And so what if they have flaws... That's why you get to know them and you eventually look past all the little things. Don't complain that no one accepts you when you refuse to accept someone unless they come out of a magazine.

Good point, agreed.

 

[Naleena]

Sometimes, I feel unloveable and I think that keeps me from being in a relationship.

 

[Moe'sTavern]

As nice a feeling being in love probably is, I think I'll be fine if it turns out to be something I never experience. Only time will tell I suppose.

 

[perfanoff]

Hmmm this has made me question that statement too. Maybe what is meant here is where you hunt for love in everyone you meet. I think you should make an effort to put yourself out there, meet new people (basically socialise and make more friends) without the intention of finding love in each and every one of them. That's making the effort to let love happen, because you create opportunities by putting yourself out there... where you're not exactly hunting it obsessively.

It's a sweet idea that you don't have to try and do anything, but in my experience it's just that. In some other people's experience (at least 5 of my friends), it also hasn't worked well, or at all.

So let's agree to disagree on the topic of should love be hunted for. If I get an opportunity to ask a nice woman out for a date, I'll do it and I won't hold back what I want. I don't need or want a large social circle to let something happen just like that. I'm done wasting my time and my life.

 

[ladyforsaken]

If I get an opportunity to ask a nice woman out for a date, I'll do it and I won't hold back what I want. I don't need or want a large social circle to let something happen just like that. I'm done wasting my time and my life.

Yeah that's what I also meant when I said one should make an effort to put yourself out there. What shouldn't be is to label every woman you meet as a potential date just because you want to find love. Just be yourself and do what you feel is right... in this case you're not exactly "hunting" for love, but making an effort to get it in a particular situation.

Sometimes, I feel unloveable and I think that keeps me from being in a relationship.

Yeah.. you know I think this was the main reason why my first relationship didn't work out. :\

As nice a feeling being in love probably is, I think I'll be fine if it turns out to be something I never experience. Only time will tell I suppose.

I wish you good luck.

 

[xaero]

Great quote. I agree with it 100 percent. I've had several opportunities to be with someone, but I've declined all of them simply because I felt that the other person wasn't right for me. I'm very realistic about life, which is hard for a lot of people to grasp. A lot of people mistake my realism for pessimism.

Most people I meet seem to be living in some fake little world of happiness, where they refuse to acknowledge anything negative, no matter how small or true it is. When I try to elaborate on this concept with other people they think I'm crazy. But back to the main topic. I've not found the right person because I want to be with someone that will love me for who I am and shares some of my more integral ideas. I don't want to end up like the guy that says he hides from his significant other to avoid talking to her about her day or how he has to spend time with her for sex. It seems like a lot of people are in a relationship for all the wrong reasons.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Sometimes, I feel unloveable and I think that keeps me from being in a relationship.

I think a lot of people, especially here, believe the same. I actually felt that way for myself at one point. And I think that's when I started to go by the whole, "if it's meant to happen to me, it will," type of attitude. But, Nal, you're such a beautiful person, inside and out, and anyone would be more than lucky to have you.

 

[perfanoff]

If I get an opportunity to ask a nice woman out for a date, I'll do it and I won't hold back what I want. I don't need or want a large social circle to let something happen just like that. I'm done wasting my time and my life.

Yeah that's what I also meant when I said one should make an effort to put yourself out there. What shouldn't be is to label every woman you meet as a potential date just because you want to find love. Just be yourself and do what you feel is right... in this case you're not exactly "hunting" for love, but making an effort to get it in a particular situation.

Sometimes, I feel unloveable and I think that keeps me from being in a relationship.

Yeah.. you know I think this was the main reason why my first relationship didn't work out. :\

As nice a feeling being in love probably is, I think I'll be fine if it turns out to be something I never experience. Only time will tell I suppose.

I wish you good luck.

Well yes. Not every person can provide/demand what I need/have to offer. Emotionally, physically, socially, financially. I've been there and I know it doesn't end well.

 

[9006]

Hmmm this has made me question that statement too. Maybe what is meant here is where you hunt for love in everyone you meet. I think you should make an effort to put yourself out there, meet new people (basically socialise and make more friends) without the intention of finding love in each and every one of them. That's making the effort to let love happen, because you create opportunities by putting yourself out there... where you're not exactly hunting it obsessively.

Yeah you got it, you can't expect to find love with everyone you meet, it's something that just happens, it's not something you can plan - maybe if you're lucky.