Bam's creative writing project.

[Bam111]

you are making good points I am making the story as I go so there is many different aspects I am still figuring out many characters. That still have not bin introduced many different scenarios that I see happening there's so much I see I sometime lose track of the minor details. Interesting thank you for the input I am currently at work on chapter 2 I may go back later and revise but at this moment I am moving forward so much I want to discover about my characters. thank you for sharing Kar you are giving me golden advice

 

[Kar]

you are making good points I am making the story as I go so there is many different aspects I am still figuring out many characters. That still have not bin introduced many different scenarios that I see happening there's so much I see I sometime lose track of the minor details. Interesting thank you for the input I am currently at work on chapter 2 I may go back later and revise but at this moment I am moving forward so much I want to discover about my characters. thank you for sharing Kar you are giving me golden advice

Oh, I'd definitely suggest you at least think through the basic plot outline. You need to know where it's going otherwise you have a lot of good scenes but not an overall structure. I think that is very important.

Another analogy, before building a house or a cathedral - you need the entire floorplan completed. You can't say I might want a room here but I'll decide as I go along. You would end up with some mish mash of walls that make no sense. Some of the walls have to be load bearing so later if you say, I want a room where that wall is, then you've compromised the structure.

 

[Bam111]

yea I understand you I have a general idea of what I want just not an idea of the order in which to place it in.

 

[Bam111]

ok I am going to start the next chapter after the chapter is over, I will take any and all comments and question critiques etc. So, this way the reader can focus on the chapter please and thank you for reading. If you have any questions or other concerns midway through the reading you can reach out to me via pm.

 

[Bam111]

Chapter 2 (rough draft)

The day of battle dawned and Xenos and Alcippe rose early to prepare themselves for the coming fight. They bathed and groomed themselves carefully, making sure to present themselves as fearsome warriors. After they were finished, the group made their way to the family temple to pray to the goddess Athena. The family temple was quiet, the flickering of candles casting a warm glow on the walls. Xenos and Alcippe stood in front of the altar, their heads bowed in prayer. Lysandra knelt beside them, her hands clasped tightly together as she whispered her own supplications to the goddess Athena. Phoenix stood a few paces back, his eyes wide with wonder as he watched his family in quiet reverence. The smell of burning incense filled the air, mingling with the soft sounds of their whispered prayers. Xenos could feel the weight of his armor, the heavy metal plates pressing against his chest and shoulders. But he also felt the weight of responsibility, the knowledge that the safety of his family and his city rested on his shoulders. He prayed to the goddess Athena for strength and courage, for the wisdom to know when to fight and when to hold back.

Lysandra's voice broke through the silence, her words soft but filled with emotion. "Please, Athena, watch over my husband and his brother," she said, her voice shaking slightly. "Protect them from harm and guide them in battle." Alcippe joined in, his voice strong and confident. "Grant us victory, O goddess," he said. "Let us show our enemies the might of Sparta and the strength of our will." Xenos finished his own prayer, feeling a sense of peace wash over him. He looked up at his family, his heart filled with love and pride. "Let us go to war," he said, his voice steady and sure. "And let us show our enemies what it means to be Spartans." They left the temple, their faces set with determination. As they made their way towards the road, the sound of their footsteps echoed through the empty streets. They knew that the coming battle would be tough, but they were Spartans, and they were ready for whatever challenges lay ahead.

The sun beat down on the dusty road as Xenos and Alcippe made their way towards their sister's home. The weight of their armor pressed down on their shoulders, and their thoughts were consumed with the coming battle. As they walked in silence, Alcippe broke the stillness with a sudden question. "What do you think the enemy will be like?" he asked, his voice low and serious. "Will they be fierce warriors, or will they be weak and cowardly?" Xenos considered his brother's question for a moment before answering. "It's hard to say," he said. "We've fought many different enemies over the years. Some have been strong and brave, while others have been cowardly and weak. But no matter what kind of enemy we face, we will fight with honor and courage." Alcippe nodded, his expression thoughtful. "I just hope we can do our duty to Sparta," he said. "And come back to our families alive." Xenos placed a hand on his brother's shoulder, his eyes filled with determination. "We will," he said. "We will fight with everything we have, and we will return home to our loved ones." As they approached Ariana's home, Alcippe spoke up again. "I hope she is well," he said. "It's been too long since we've seen her." Xenos nodded, a sense of longing filling him. "Yes, it has," he said. "But we'll make sure to visit her and make sure she's safe." They arrived at the house, and Xenos knocked on the door. Ariana answered, her face lighting up at the sight of her brothers. "Xenos! Alcippe!" she exclaimed, pulling them both into a tight embrace. "It's so good to see you both."

Ariana's home was simple but cozy, with warm sunlight filtering through the windows and a faint scent of lavender in the air. The brothers stepped inside, their eyes adjusting to the dimmer light. Ariana led them to a small couch, where they sat down and caught up with each other's lives. As they talked, Xenos couldn't help but notice the beauty of his sister. Her features were striking, with a strong jawline, sharp cheekbones, and piercing blue eyes. She radiated a sense of wisdom and grace, a quality that Xenos knew ran in the family.

 

[Bam111]

And then, they met the newest member of their family: Theseus. He was a tiny infant, with a mop of dark hair and wide, curious eyes. Ariana held him close, smiling at her brothers with a sense of pride and joy. "He is beautiful," Alcippe said, his voice soft with wonder. Xenos reached out to touch his nephew's tiny fingers, feeling a sense of protectiveness wash over him. "He has your eyes, Ariana," he said, smiling at his sister. Ariana nodded, a sense of serenity in her voice. "He is a blessing," she said. "I never imagined I could love someone so much." They talked for a few more minutes, sharing brief stories and thoughts before it was time to leave. As they said their goodbyes, Xenos hugged his sister tightly, feeling a sense of longing and sadness that they had to leave her behind.

"Take care, Ariana," he said, his voice low and filled with emotion. "We will come back to you after this war is won." Ariana hugged him back, her face serious but filled with love. "May Athena guide and protect you both," she said. "And may Theseus grow up to be a strong and wise Spartan like his uncles." With that, Xenos and Alcippe made their way out of the house, the sound of their footsteps echoing through the empty streets. They knew that the war was coming, and that they had to make their way to the war camp. But for a brief moment, they had the comfort of family and the knowledge that they were not alone in this fight.

Xenos and Alcippe walked briskly through the gates of the agoge, their faces set in grim determination. The once warm and affectionate brothers had transformed into fierce and emotionless warriors, their love and admiration for each other replaced by the cold and ruthless mentality required for battle. They reported in and began their training, joining a group of soldiers that included two men named Demetrius and Lycurgus. The training was intense, with no room for error or weakness. The brothers moved with precision and grace, their movements practiced and efficient. Demetrius and Lycurgus struggled to keep up, their faces strained with effort. As they trained, Xenos and Alcippe felt a sense of pride and duty filling them. They knew that they were preparing themselves for battle, that they were doing everything in their power to protect their city and their people. And yet, there was a sense of sadness and longing in their hearts, a knowledge that they might not come back from this war alive. As the day wore on, the training became more and more intense. The soldiers sparred with each other, their swords ringing out in the hot afternoon air. Sweat poured down their faces, their breathing heavy and labored. But they did not give up, did not falter in their determination. As the sun began to set, Xenos and Alcippe felt a sense of exhaustion and pride wash over them. They had trained hard, and they knew that they were ready for battle. They joined their fellow soldiers in a brief moment of camaraderie, sharing stories and jokes and laughter before heading off to their tents to rest for the night.

Days turned into weeks, and the training became more and more grueling. Xenos and Alcippe became faster, stronger, and more efficient in their movements, their fighting styles evolving to match their ever-increasing skills. They sparred with each other, each brother pushing the other to be better and stronger. Demetrius and Lycurgus had grown stronger as well, but they still struggled to keep up with the Spartan brothers. As the training continued, the soldiers became more focused and serious. The lighthearted moments of camaraderie were replaced with an intense drive and determination, a singular focus on preparing themselves for the coming war. Xenos and Alcippe rarely spoke, their minds consumed with thoughts of the battlefield and the enemies they would face. Despite the exhaustion and the constant push towards their limits, the brothers continued to train with ferocity and skill. They developed a reputation among their fellow soldiers as fierce and ruthless warriors. As the weeks turned into months, the soldiers grew stronger and more skilled. They knew that the time for battle was coming, and they were determined to be ready for whatever challenges lay ahead.

 

[Bam111]

Xenos and Alcippe faced off against a pair of soldiers, their swords clashing with a sharp ring. The brothers moved with an effortless grace, their movements precise and deadly. The soldiers they fought were good, but they were no match for the seasoned Spartans. Xenos was focused and determined, his eyes fixed on his opponent's movements. He deftly sidestepped a strike and swung his sword in a swift motion, disarming his foe in one fluid movement. Meanwhile, Alcippe fought with a fierce aggression. He pushed his opponent back with a flurry of blows, forcing the soldier onto the defensive. The soldier tried to counter, but Alcippe was too quick, his sword finding its mark with a deadly accuracy. As the fight ended, the soldiers conceded defeat, their faces filled with respect and admiration for the brothers' skill. Xenos and Alcippe shared a brief nod of acknowledgement before moving on to their next opponents. They fought with the same intensity and skill, each victory fueling their drive to be even better. Through the weeks of training, they had honed their skills to a deadly edge, their personalities shifting to match their new fighting styles. Xenos had become stoic and unemotional, his focus singular and obsessive. Alcippe, on the other hand, had become fiercely aggressive and intimidating, channeling the power and aggression. As the sun began to set, the soldiers ended their training, sharing a brief moment of camaraderie before heading off to their tents for the night. Xenos and Alcippe remained behind, their faces set in a determined scowl. They knew that the time for battle was coming, and they were more than ready to face whatever challenges lay ahead.

Demetrius and Lycurgus approached Xenos and Alcippe, their faces filled with admiration and respect. "That was some impressive fighting," Demetrius said, his eyes shining with excitement. "I don't think I've ever seen anyone move like that." Xenos nodded, a faint smile crossing his features. "We've trained hard," he said, his voice low and serious. "We're ready for whatever the enemy has to throw at us." Lycurgus stepped forward, his expression thoughtful. "Do you ever think about what it will be like on the battlefield?" he asked. "The noise, the chaos, the bloodshed?" Alcippe's face hardened, a sense of aggression filling him. "I welcome it," he said, his voice low and intense. "I can't wait to face our enemies head on, to feel the thrill of battle and emerge victorious." Xenos spoke up, his voice serious. "We may not all make it back alive," he said. "But we will fight with honor and courage, and we will do our duty to Sparta." As they spoke, the tent flaps rustled and in walked their commanding general, a tall and imposing figure with piercing blue eyes and a stern, no-nonsense expression. His name was Brasidas, and he was known throughout Sparta for his skill and strategy on the battlefield. "Gentlemen," he said, his voice carrying the weight of authority. "The time has come. We march to battle tomorrow." Xenos and Alcippe nodded, their faces set in grim determination. They had trained hard, had become hardened soldiers. They were ready for whatever lay ahead. With that, the soldiers began to prepare for battle, their minds focused and their hearts filled with a fierce sense of duty.

The soldiers rose early, their bodies stiff from the previous day's training. Xenos and Alcippe stumbled as they got up, their minds still foggy with sleep. But they quickly regained their senses and began to prepare for the long march ahead. They strapped on their armor, tightened their belts, and gathered their weapons. The air was chilly, and the sky was just beginning to lighten with the dawn. The soldiers fell into formation, their faces set in stoic determination. General Brasidas stood at the head of the group, his presence commanding and reassuring. "Gentlemen," he said, his voice strong and unwavering. "Today, we march to battle. We march to defend Sparta, to defend our way of life. We march to show the enemy that we will not be intimidated, that we will not back down. We march with honor and courage, and we will emerge victorious." The soldiers cheered, their voices ringing out in the morning air. They began to march, their footsteps echoing through the empty streets of Sparta. They were a formidable force, a sea of steel and muscle. They marched with purpose, with a sense of duty and honor that filled them with pride. As they made their way out of the city, the terrain became rough and rocky. The soldiers marched up and down hills, across narrow bridges and through deep valleys. The sun beat down on them, and their armor felt heavy and suffocating. But they did not falter, did not waver in their determination.

 

[Bam111]

Xenos and Alcippe marched side by side, their eyes fixed on the path ahead. They spoke little, their minds consumed with thoughts of the battle to come. They were focused and ready, their bodies and minds hardened by the weeks of training. The other soldiers marched around them, their faces set in a similar determination. Demetrius and Lycurgus marched nearby, their voices carrying over the sound of marching feet. "This is it," Demetrius said, his voice tinged with excitement. "The battle we've been training for." Lycurgus nodded, a sense of anticipation in his eyes. "We'll show the Athenians what we're made of," he said. The soldiers marched on, their spirits high despite the grueling terrain. They knew that the battle would be difficult, that they would face enemies who were equally skilled and determined. But they also knew that they had trained hard, that they were prepared for whatever lay ahead. As they marched, General Brasidas rode along the line of soldiers, offering words of encouragement and praise. He was a born leader, a man with a deep sense of duty and a sharp mind for strategy. The soldiers looked up to him, their trust and respect unwavering.

The soldiers rose early, their bodies stiff from the previous day's training. Xenos and Alcippe stumbled as they got up, their minds still foggy with sleep. But they quickly regained their senses and began to prepare for the long march ahead. They strapped on their armor, tightened their belts, and gathered their weapons. The air was chilly, and the sky was just beginning to lighten with the dawn. The soldiers fell into formation, their faces set in stoic determination. General Brasidas stood at the head of the group, his presence commanding and reassuring. "Gentlemen," he said, his voice strong and unwavering. "Today, we march to battle. We march to defend Sparta, to defend our way of life. We march to show the enemy that we will not be intimidated, that we will not back down. We march with honor and courage, and we will emerge victorious." The soldiers cheered, their voices ringing out in the morning air. They began to march, their footsteps echoing through the empty streets of Sparta. They were a formidable force, a sea of steel and muscle. They marched with purpose, with a sense of duty and honor that filled them with pride.

As they made their way out of the city, the terrain became rough and rocky. The soldiers marched up and down hills, across narrow bridges and through deep valleys. The sun beat down on them, and their armor felt heavy and suffocating. But they did not falter, did not waver in their determination. Xenos and Alcippe marched side by side, their eyes fixed on the path ahead. They spoke little, their minds consumed with thoughts of the battle to come. They were focused and ready, their bodies and minds hardened by the weeks of training.

The other soldiers marched around them, their faces set in a similar determination. Demetrius and Lycurgus marched nearby, their voices carrying over the sound of marching feet. "This is it," Demetrius said, his voice tinged with excitement. "The battle we've been training for." Lycurgus nodded, a sense of anticipation in his eyes. "We'll show the Athenians what we're made of," he said. The soldiers marched on, their spirits high despite the grueling terrain. They knew that the battle would be difficult, that they would face enemies who were equally skilled and determined. But they also knew that they had trained hard, that they were prepared for whatever lay ahead. As they marched, General Brasidas rode along the line of soldiers, offering words of encouragement and praise. He was a born leader, a man with a deep sense of duty and a sharp mind for strategy. The soldiers looked up to him, their trust and respect unwavering.

 

[Bam111]

The soldiers marched on, their boots crunching against the rocky terrain. The sun beat down on them mercilessly, causing sweat to pour down their faces and their armor to chafe against their skin. "I don't know how much longer I can do this," grumbled one soldier, his face twisted in exhaustion. "We've barely been on the road an hour." Another soldier laughed, his face creased with amusement. "You'll manage," he said. "It's not like we're marching all the way to Athens." The soldiers around him chuckled, the tension lifting for a moment. But it was short-lived, and soon they were back to the business at hand.

As they marched, they passed through small towns and villages, their progress slowed by the narrow, winding streets. The locals watched them warily, their faces set in a mix of fear and curiosity. Xenos and Alcippe watched them with detached interest, their minds focused on the battle to come. Demetrius and Lycurgus, however, were more vocal, striking up conversations with the locals and sharing stories of their training. The road grew steeper and more difficult, and the soldiers' spirits began to flag. "I could use a break," one soldier muttered, wiping sweat from his brow. "We've been marching for hours." Xenos shot him a withering look. "We can't afford to stop," he said, his voice low and serious. "We have a mission to complete." The soldier nodded, chastened, and fell back into line.

General Brasidas rode along the line of soldiers, his presence commanding and reassuring. "You're doing well, men," he called out, his voice carrying over the sound of marching feet. "Stay focused, and we will emerge victorious." The soldiers cheered, their spirits lifting at the sound of his voice. As they marched on, the landscape changed around them. The rocky terrain gave way to rolling hills and fields of tall grass, the air filled with the sweet scent of wildflowers. Xenos and Alcippe exchanged a brief look of surprise, their eyes lingering on the idyllic scene. But their moment of wonder was short-lived, and soon they were back to the task at hand. As the Spartan army marched on, their supplies began to dwindle. They needed to stop and resupply if they were to have any chance of succeeding in their mission. They reached a small city nestled in a valley, surrounded by rocky terrain and scrubby bushes. The soldiers were relieved to have a chance to rest and resupply. The city was bustling with activity, merchants and traders shouting their wares, the smell of spices and cooking meat filling the air. The soldiers split up, some heading to the market to buy food and supplies, while others went to the local blacksmith to have their weapons sharpened.

Xenos and Alcippe headed to the market, their eyes scanning the stalls for anything that might be useful. They purchased dried meat, fruits, and vegetables, as well as extra arrows and spears. As they walked, they heard the sounds of musicians and acrobats, the energy of the city lifting their spirits. They passed by a group of young boys, kicking a ball made of rags around the dusty streets, and smiled at the sight. For a moment, they forgot about the battle to come, the hardships they had faced, and the dangers that still lay ahead.

 

[Bam111]

As the soldiers rested and resupplied, General Brasidas met with the local officials, negotiating for additional supplies and support. The general was known for his diplomacy, his ability to win over even the most reluctant of allies. The soldiers waited in the city, their moods lifting as they rested and replenished their supplies. As the sun began to set, the soldiers finished their resupply and made their way out of the city. They continued their march towards Pylos, their minds focused on the battle to come. The terrain grew rougher once again, the hills becoming steeper and the valleys deeper. But the soldiers marched on, their spirits lifted by the knowledge that they were one step closer to their goal. As they made their way up a steep hill, they heard the sound of rushing water in the distance. As they crested the hill, they saw a wide river rushing below them, its waters churning with a fierce intensity. General Brasidas ordered a halt, surveying the river and its surroundings. He knew that the Athenians had been making their way through the area, and he suspected that they may have set up defenses along the riverbank. He ordered a small scouting party to cross the river and assess the situation on the other side.

Xenos and Alcippe were among the soldiers chosen for the scouting mission. They made their way down to the riverbank, their eyes scanning the area for any signs of the enemy. As they waded across the cold, rushing waters, they kept their weapons at the ready, their eyes scanning the trees and bushes for any movement. They reached the other side of the river, and Xenos motioned for them to move forward. As they made their way through the underbrush, they heard the sound of footsteps approaching. They quickly took cover behind some bushes, watching as a group of Athenian soldiers marched by. Alcippe's hand tightened around his sword, his eyes filled with a fierce intensity. "Let's take them," he said, his voice low and intense. Xenos shook his head, his eyes fixed on the enemy soldiers. "We're here to scout, not to engage in battle," he said. "We need to report back to the general." Alcippe nodded reluctantly, his eyes never leaving the Athenian soldiers. They waited until the soldiers had passed before making their way back across the river. When they reported back to General Brasidas, they informed him of the enemy's presence and warned of a potential ambush. The general nodded, his mind already turning towards the best strategy for their next move.

Brasidas listened intently to Xenos and Alcippe's report, his eyes scanning the surrounding terrain. "Thank you for the warning," he said, his voice low and serious. "We will need to be cautious as we move forward. The Athenians are known for their cunning and their ability to adapt to changing situations." He turned to his officers, barking out orders for the soldiers to set up camp for the night. "We will rest here for the night," he said, his voice carrying the weight of authority. "Tomorrow, we march on Pylos." The soldiers quickly set to work, pitching tents and starting campfires. Xenos and Alcippe helped their fellow soldiers, their minds still consumed with thoughts of the Athenians and the battle to come. As they sat around the campfire, eating their meager rations, the soldiers spoke in hushed tones about the enemy they would face. They spoke of the Athenians' superior navy and their tactics, of their fierce determination and cunning. But they also spoke of their own determination, their love for Sparta and their duty to protect it.

 

[Bam111]

As the night wore on, the soldiers settled in for a restless night of sleep, their minds and bodies weary from the long march. But Xenos and Alcippe remained awake, their eyes fixed on the horizon, their swords close at hand. They knew that the coming battle would be the biggest test of their skills and their determination. They were ready for whatever lay ahead, ready to face their enemies with a ferocity and skill that would make Sparta proud. And with that thought in mind, they closed their eyes and drifted off to sleep, their minds consumed with thoughts of the battle to come. The next morning, as the soldiers packed up camp and prepared to march, they were suddenly ambushed by a group of Athenian soldiers. Xenos and Alcippe sprang into action, their swords flashing in the sunlight as they engaged their opponents. The soldiers fought with a fierce intensity, their movements swift and deadly. Xenos moved with a stoic grace, his sword finding its mark with a deadly accuracy. Alcippe fought with a wild aggression, his sword swinging in powerful arcs that forced his opponents back.

The skirmish was short but intense, with the Spartans emerging victorious. Xenos and Alcippe were the last to put away their weapons, their faces set in a fierce scowl. They knew that this was just the beginning, that the Athenians would not go down without a fight. But they also knew that they were more than capable of meeting their enemies head-on, of defeating them with a skill and ferocity that only the Spartans possessed. As they resumed their march towards Pylos, the soldiers spoke in hushed tones about the battle to come. Xenos and Alcippe shared a brief moment of camaraderie, their eyes locking in a silent understanding. They were ready for whatever lay ahead, ready to face their enemies with a skill and determination that would make Sparta proud.

The terrain grew rougher once again, the hills becoming steeper and the valleys deeper. But the soldiers marched on, their spirits lifted by the knowledge that they were one step closer to their goal. As they made their way towards Pylos, they saw smoke rising in the distance. General Brasidas ordered a halt, surveying the area with a sharp eye. "We may have found our enemy," he said, his voice low and serious. "Be ready for anything."

 

[Bam111]

Xenos and Alcippe led the charge towards the source of the smoke, their swords at the ready. The terrain was treacherous, with rocky outcroppings and steep inclines that made it difficult to move quickly. But they pushed on, their muscles burning with exertion as they neared their target. As they reached the crest of a steep hill, they saw the source of the smoke: a small village nestled in a valley below them, its buildings burning fiercely. They heard the sound of shouting and the clash of weapons, and they knew that they had found the Athenians.

Xenos and Alcippe charged down the hill, their swords glinting in the sunlight. The Athenians met them with a fierce resistance, their weapons clashing against the Spartans' shields and swords. Xenos moved with a fluid grace, his sword slicing through the air with a deadly precision. Alcippe fought with a wild ferocity, his sword swinging in powerful arcs that forced his opponents back. As they fought, the soldiers around them engaged in their own battles, the sound of shouting and clanging weapons filling the air. The terrain was rough, with rocky outcroppings and steep inclines that made it difficult to move quickly. But the Spartans were determined, their bodies and minds hardened by weeks of training and their fierce loyalty to Sparta.

Xenos and Alcippe fought with a silent intensity, their eyes locked on their opponents as they moved with a fluid grace that was both deadly and beautiful. They spoke little, their minds consumed with the battle at hand. They knew that the Athenians were formidable opponents, but they were determined to emerge victorious. As the battle raged on, the Spartans pushed forward, their determination unwavering. The Athenians fought with a fierce intensity, but they were no match for the skill and determination of the Spartans. Xenos and Alcippe emerged from the battle victorious, their bodies covered in sweat and blood, their spirits lifted by the knowledge that they had fought with honor and courage.

As they made their way back towards the rest of the army, they heard the sounds of cheering and shouting in the distance. They knew that the battle was far from over, but they also knew that they had made a decisive first strike against the Athenians. With a fierce determination in their hearts, they resumed their march towards Pylos, their eyes fixed on the horizon, their swords at the ready.