Been told that I will find someone when I'm not looking

[GrayAndLonesome]

I HATE when people say that. I've tried both actively looking for love and letting things just casually happen and I haven't had any luck either way, but at least with an active approach I don't feel like I  just let my life go by without making an effort to find love.

So true, and if you've read my post, I echo the same sentiment you have about this cheesy statement.

Love never found me, nor did it find you, or others who also post here at ALL.

Each year goes by, I was 28 years old when my grandma told me that phrase, this was almost seven years ago. Same sh-t was told to me by my friend when I was 30 years old, and when he got married at that age. Gosh, lucky him, he now has a baby daughter. Look at me now, 35 years old, still don't have a girlfriend. So f-cking sad!

I find it kind of strange because up until last year, I had some platonic relationships or I was busy with school, so I never really cared about girlfriend relationship.

I would also spend some $$$ to do some mongering (if you're curious what that is, you can look it up online! LOL!) at incalls or AMPs with BAD friends with bad influences, whom I no longer keep in touch with.

But strangely now, just about six months ago, I moved to a new state for my job.

I don't know. I guess that since I have a job, my mind is now fixated on love, romance, dating and starting a new family.

I have been introduced to two girls from church members here in my area. However, none of them turned out to be good and we eventually broke away from each other. Hence, I have tried online dating, and while I felt happy to get some responses, which ended up with face-to-face date meetups, NONE of them turned into a solid girlfriend relationship. None.

Hence, I'm back at square one, lonely, depressed, and contemplating suicide if I don't marry by the age of 45.

 

[ABrokenMan]

While I can't speak for the ladies, my experience with relationships and platonic friendships taught me one thing - having a deep seated "all-or nothing" modus operandi will GUARANTEE that you shall remain alone for however long your life lasts.
Anyone who reads your last sentence will give you a red flag, if not a black one.

 

[michael2]

I HATE when people say that. I've tried both actively looking for love and letting things just casually happen and I haven't had any luck either way, but at least with an active approach I don't feel like I  just let my life go by without making an effort to find love.

So true, and if you've read my post, I echo the same sentiment you have about this cheesy statement.

Love never found me, nor did it find you, or others who also post here at ALL.

Each year goes by, I was 28 years old when my grandma told me that phrase, this was almost seven years ago. Same sh-t was told to me by my friend when I was 30 years old, and when he got married at that age. Gosh, lucky him, he now has a baby daughter. Look at me now, 35 years old, still don't have a girlfriend. So f-cking sad!

I find it kind of strange because up until last year, I had some platonic relationships or I was busy with school, so I never really cared about girlfriend relationship.

I would also spend some $$$ to do some mongering (if you're curious what that is, you can look it up online! LOL!) at incalls or AMPs with BAD friends with bad influences, whom I no longer keep in touch with.

But strangely now, just about six months ago, I moved to a new state for my job.

I don't know. I guess that since I have a job, my mind is now fixated on love, romance, dating and starting a new family.

I have been introduced to two girls from church members here in my area. However, none of them turned out to be good and we eventually broke away from each other. Hence, I have tried online dating, and while I felt happy to get some responses, which ended up with face-to-face date meetups, NONE of them turned into a solid girlfriend relationship. None.

Hence, I'm back at square one, lonely, depressed, and contemplating suicide if I don't marry by the age of 45.

Hey, you are actually meeting up with girls.  Just a matter of time before you find the right one.  It seems you are panicking, but I feel you should keep calm.  If you become desperate odds are you'll end up 'settling' and become even more miserable in a marriage then you are single.

 

[Xpendable]

A matter of time doesn't mean it will be soon. It could take 50 years.

 

[michael2]

It could take 1 year or 50 years.

But what matters is if you are actively pursuing what you want, instead of feeling it is impossible and becoming idle. Your chances of success might be slim if you pursue what you want, but they surely are 0 if you remain idle.

Personally I feel being in a relationship will increase the happiness not only of me, but also of someone else. So I feel thats something I shouldnt give up on.