Being Ignored Hurts..

[LoneAs]

Well i went into a small cafe one time, to buy something to eat, and i saw a friend of mine waiting for his order..we are very good friends, but there has been some time between us, as in work, new friends etc..but as i walked in i acknowledged him and he looked over to me and just blanked me!

He couldnt care less, and there was me looking stupid holding a smile and hands half way out to shake his hand, but thankfully i got the message, and just walked by confused and quite hurt.

We were good friends, but i dont understand why people have to change into complete idiots..i guess the more you stay the same, the more people change.

Im a friendly guy, and not an idiot, but to be blanked and have all that thrown into your face ate at me, and i felt so low, lonely and stupid. The feeling was unbearable i was just left there dumbfounded..prior to seeing him at the cafe, we joked a months back through text etc etc..but for him to change like that, hit hard.

He definitely saw me, there was that moment where the world around you stood still, and you had a stare off where your eyes both locked...but he just blanked me completely.

So guys im trying to move on..but was surprised by how much it hurt emotionally and the way it drained some of my confidence away.

Anybody felt the same, and how did you get over it, i believe time is the best remedy..

 

[IgnoredOne]

Sorry. The fact that other people are idiots isn't your fault and you shouldn't take it personally. Forgive him for being a moron, for they are legion and they know not of their stupidity.

 

[Limlim]

maybe he didn't recognize you and was like "****, who was that?" while he stood there blankly trying to remember.

 

[Doubt The Rabbit]

That's something you would do, Lim.

 

[beans]

Well i went into a small cafe one time, to buy something to eat, and i saw a friend of mine waiting for his order..we are very good friends, but there has been some time between us, as in work, new friends etc..but as i walked in i acknowledged him and he looked over to me and just blanked me!

He couldnt care less, and there was me looking stupid holding a smile and hands half way out to shake his hand, but thankfully i got the message, and just walked by confused and quite hurt.

We were good friends, but i dont understand why people have to change into complete idiots..i guess the more you stay the same, the more people change.

Im a friendly guy, and not an idiot, but to be blanked and have all that thrown into your face ate at me, and i felt so low, lonely and stupid. The feeling was unbearable i was just left there dumbfounded..prior to seeing him at the cafe, we joked a months back through text etc etc..but for him to change like that, hit hard.

He definitely saw me, there was that moment where the world around you stood still, and you had a stare off where your eyes both locked...but he just blanked me completely.

So guys im trying to move on..but was surprised by how much it hurt emotionally and the way it drained some of my confidence away.

Anybody felt the same, and how did you get over it, i believe time is the best remedy..

I've had a lot of experiences with this. A LOT. It happens to me a lot too because I am sort of very polite, prim, proper, but shy and soft.

I notice that people tend to ignore personalities like that more than someone who is loud and arrogant. It's almost people LIKE loud and arrogant personalities and see it as a challenge. So if you're not too confident, a little quiet and very respectful, often people don't care to acknowledge you.

What that guy did was rude and please don't let him rob your confidence. In life, you have to be a little 'tougher' in your mind and be more resistant to rude and selfish people otherwise, it will be hard for you to explore other friendships that can be positive and meaningful for you.

A lot of times, we are reading into too many lines based on some actions. I have just too many experiences with this but if you ever face a situation like that again, I would advise you to judge it based on facts and not respond to emotions. A lot of us lonelies always live by feelings and not facts. For example, when the guy did that, how do you know for a fact that he is

1) not having a bad day
2) insecure himself
3) thinking about other things
4) has a grudge towards people
5) has trust issues with people
6) doesn't want to remember any of his past 'friends'

You don't really know why he reacted that way.

It's good to always ask yourself "What proof do I have about this person that treated me like **** that something must be wrong with me for them to not like me?"

What proof do I have that they don't even like me in the first place?

There could be 1001 reasons and most times it has NOTHING to do with you.

---

That's something you would do, Lim.

LOL

 

[Limlim]

Just saying it happens -_- Never attribute to malice what can be adequately explained by idiocy.

 

[beans]

Just saying it happens -_- Never attribute to malice what can be adequately explained by idiocy.

Gawd for once, you wrote something so profound.

 

[Ian Haines]

Yep! Been there! Done that! Can't afford the T Shirt!

Not long after leaving school (around 35 years ago), I saw one of the co-ex-schoolers and did the "John B-----s!" happiness smile and extended my hand for a handshake. He turned red, tried very little to hide his cynical, mocking smile and walked away as if I were a pervert who had just asked him for a ********!

Same thing happened to a good friend and I, in the local library, when we spotted another co-ex-schooler. We walked over to him and he carried on taking books off the shelf and pretending to be reading them and not even acknowledging to us that we'd even spoken to him. He had on a very bad blue off-the-peg suit and a copy of The Times with him. I think he fancied himself as a bit of a hi-finance whizz-kid. My friend just said to me, "Come on, Ian...it's clear that he just doesn't wanna know us!" So, we walked away.

Contrast that with me having bumped into another co-ex-schooler, we nicknamed "Taffy". The first words that guy ever said to me where, "You are thick (as in stupid)", after I'd bungled a blackboard answer during a simple quiz question thing, after exams, in secondary school. About a year after leaving school, I saw him driving by, slowly taking a corner close to which I happened to be standing, waiting to cross. He saw me, too. He pulled over, extended a hand for a handshake that was spiritedly reciprocated on and then offered me a lift. We chatted about the old school days. He offered to ferry me around from shop to shop and then on to wherever I was going. That guy and I, at secondary/high school, had had barely a full sentence to say to each other. Once, (back in school) when I was about to get into a fight that he and I knew I stood no chance of winning, he did everything he could to stop me waiting around, trying to get me to just go home and forget the incident concerned. He wasn't even in what I considered to be my circle of friends, at school, and had never shown the slightest interest in being so.

The Angels are in the detail...not the Devil!

Some know how to reach out and others simply don't. Others hold old, schooldays grudges and can't forget them.

Everybody from our history is important, but it's only a few of us who seem to know it and act on it. If we have time for them, they should, in all decency, have time for us.

 

[LoneAs]

maybe he didn't recognize you and was like "****, who was that?" while he stood there blankly trying to remember.

He 100% saw me, there Was the moment where we held our gaze, he knew it was me, i knew it was him and he just blanked me. The cafe i walked in is very small and when you walk in, the cashier is very close.

---

Well i went into a small cafe one time, to buy something to eat, and i saw a friend of mine waiting for his order..we are very good friends, but there has been some time between us, as in work, new friends etc..but as i walked in i acknowledged him and he looked over to me and just blanked me!

He couldnt care less, and there was me looking stupid holding a smile and hands half way out to shake his hand, but thankfully i got the message, and just walked by confused and quite hurt.

We were good friends, but i dont understand why people have to change into complete idiots..i guess the more you stay the same, the more people change.

Im a friendly guy, and not an idiot, but to be blanked and have all that thrown into your face ate at me, and i felt so low, lonely and stupid. The feeling was unbearable i was just left there dumbfounded..prior to seeing him at the cafe, we joked a months back through text etc etc..but for him to change like that, hit hard.

He definitely saw me, there was that moment where the world around you stood still, and you had a stare off where your eyes both locked...but he just blanked me completely.

So guys im trying to move on..but was surprised by how much it hurt emotionally and the way it drained some of my confidence away.

Anybody felt the same, and how did you get over it, i believe time is the best remedy..

I've had a lot of experiences with this. A LOT. It happens to me a lot too because I am sort of very polite, prim, proper, but shy and soft.

I notice that people tend to ignore personalities like that more than someone who is loud and arrogant. It's almost people LIKE loud and arrogant personalities and see it as a challenge. So if you're not too confident, a little quiet and very respectful, often people don't care to acknowledge you.

What that guy did was rude and please don't let him rob your confidence. In life, you have to be a little 'tougher' in your mind and be more resistant to rude and selfish people otherwise, it will be hard for you to explore other friendships that can be positive and meaningful for you.

A lot of times, we are reading into too many lines based on some actions. I have just too many experiences with this but if you ever face a situation like that again, I would advise you to judge it based on facts and not respond to emotions. A lot of us lonelies always live by feelings and not facts. For example, when the guy did that, how do you know for a fact that he is

1) not having a bad day
2) insecure himself
3) thinking about other things
4) has a grudge towards people
5) has trust issues with people
6) doesn't want to remember any of his past 'friends'

You don't really know why he reacted that way.

It's good to always ask yourself "What proof do I have about this person that treated me like **** that something must be wrong with me for them to not like me?"

What proof do I have that they don't even like me in the first place?

There could be 1001 reasons and most times it has NOTHING to do with you.

---

That's something you would do, Lim.

LOL

---

True I dont know what is happening with him but normally we were on good terms, and the fact that he blanked me, just puzzled me and actually hurt. We were on very good terms, and i know him as person well. But we have not spoken since the incident, i drew the line that he has changed and probably moved on, i dont particularly get on with his friends well, i dont like them, they dont like me (we both know this), so maybe he was severing ties in a sense, he spends majority of his time with his own group of friends that i dont get along with, but even then, we still got on well together.

 

[Sci-Fi]

I had that happen to me once. I was working on a corn crew for the summer and there was an old friend of mine on the crew. Now we hadn't seen each other since we were 13, we went to different high schools. It had only been about 3 maybe 4 years. We grew up together, we knew each other since we were 3 years old. He didn't recognize me at all, he acted like I was a complete stranger to him. That kind of threw me because I have a twin brother and people always recognize us, even people that haven't seen us in decades. It hurt, and I was really disturbed by it, yet he did remember a few other friends of ours, some that he hadn't seen for the same amount of time. But as we got to "reknow" each other I found out that he got heavy into drugs, and he even admitted that's probably why he didn't remember me. Too many fried brain cells, he didn't remember a lot of people, those he did only vaguely. Funny thing, in our grade 8 yearbooks he wrote "Remember M, Remember E, but most of all Remember ME". See kids that's why drugs are bad!!

 

[freedom]

time is the best remedy...

but have you considered that maybe he just didn't recognize you? maybe you got a new haircut, or you lost/gained weight, or the sun or a bright light was in his eye and he didn't get a good look at you. i read this, and it was the first thing that came to mind.

it's happened to me before. people will see me in public and call out my name, and i won't recognize who they are until they walk up to me and say, "it's me, (name)!". did you even try and get him to do that?

i'm sorry you got hurt, but this is all that i can think of.

 

[Cathedral]

What's with the grayed out "ADVERTISEMENTS" text at the bottom of the OP?

 

[SofiasMami]

Hi-
If he was truly ignoring you, he sounds like an *******. I don't know any other word to describe that besides rude. It speaks more about him than it does you.
Unfortunately, I've unintentionally ignored people that I didn't recognize right away I used to live in a very small town where everyone knows everyone else. I would get people approaching me or waving to me from cars and come to find out later it was someone I didn't recognize at the time, not just some stranger. I'm still embarrassed about a few of the times I didn't recognize someone.

Teresa

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Good god...
Ive been accused of being an arrogant *******....
Yes. I ingore some women or people.
for whatever reasons...looks. Personalities , econamics, race, beliefs..etc

Visa versa...Plenty of women willl
ignore me. Calling her stupid
snobby bitch isnt going to change her.

Her not liking me dosnt make her less of a person..visa versa

Not everyone is going to like me for whatever their reasons are.
Its just the way it is....

 

[allanh]

@OP ; Yes, being ignored hurts...... and hurts like hell.... esp by someone you cares/loves and he/she does not reciprocate, which is a form of "ignore"

 

[Fragile]

This has happened to me several times. Last time as recently as yesterday actually. I just don't give a **** about those people anymore, but it does hurt, it sure does.

 

[hellomiko]

I agree with bean's post. I think you shouldn't really look into it much and just forget about it. Things like this happen all the time between people, it happen to me a lot, in fact I do it to people too! He might be a complete idiot, or it might be because of several reasons etc. I think the problem is over-analysing it and letting it worry you.

 

[LoneAs]

Thanks eveyone for your replies, its really helped me, and im not like him and never will be, it says alot about him if he did ignore me. But I have moved on and thats thanks to all of you.

 

[Why_Me]

I know how you feel.
Being ignored digs so deep into your mind, it is IMO, mentally scaring. It is like you don't matter, your opinion doesn't matter, your voice goes unnoticed.
It hurts so much that it nails the purpose of this board, being lonely. Heck, I post here and some other boards and nobody seems to give a shizz.
I feel sometimes people are playing the nice card, trying to get you to come down but they are not LISTENING.

I don't know what to tell you, what I can offer however is to think of your own value and accomplishments and consider the whole event "their loss". It will carry you through until you forget, will the feeling come back? probably. Hopefully with lesser effect on you.

 

[Why_Me]

Being ignoed??!!

Happened to me in this board today...........

Does it hurt? You betcha
Does it get better with time? Nope
What can one do? ..... a human can only take so much indifference, a human can only be alone for so long before the benefits of trying to be a good person and "try" to enjoy life, outweigh the alternative.