bored sad lonely

[amacolor]

bored sad lonely


endlessly

im getting bullied. lately, the direct stuff has stopped but i've been marked as a dangerous person to be associated with. not a lot of people talk to me. i have a few close friends, mostly outside of school. people are hesitant to even be friendly to me in school.

living for the idea I have of my life a year from now. i know i can make friends, i know im likable- i have lots of friends outside of school. but while im here? i feel like a target. still lonely, suspicious of everyone, and so emotionally drained that im unmotivated even though i need to be working in order to get out of this place.

i talked to a stranger today. a man with disabilities sitting outside on a bench. just cause he smiled and told me to have a good day. i walked away and then walked back to tell him he'd done the first nice thing anyone had done for me all day. it was weird. i just am so desperate for human connection. i dont know how to stop being so unhappy.

 

[Tiina63]

I'm really sorry you are having such a rough time in school. When you say you are marked as 'dangerous person to be associated with' do you mean that others avoid you as they think that being your friend would mean that they would targeted for bullying too? If so, I think that this is one of the worst things about being a victim of bullies-it isolates you further. It is good you have some close friends outside of school. Is there no form of support available at your school for people who are being bullied or do you think that this might make the bullying worse?

 

[MentatsGhoul]

Bullying is bad. But you said you have friends outside of school? Why not focus on them instead of school? I know that it feels better when you have friends you see and hang out with every day, but, trust me, it's good to focus on people who care about you and don't treat you badly, instead of trying to impress those who do. They're not worth your time

 

[amacolor]

I'm really sorry you are having such a rough time in school.  When you say you are marked as 'dangerous person to be associated with' do you mean that others avoid you as they think that being your friend would mean that they would targeted for bullying too? If so, I think that this is one of the worst things about being a victim of bullies-it isolates you further.  It is good you have some close friends outside of school.  Is there no form of support available at your school for people who are being bullied or do you think that this might make the bullying worse?

Yes, that's what I mean. There is support, the faculty is great, but it doesn't make it go away. Even when the direct stuff stops, it's in the atmosphere.

 

[Tiina63]

Would it be possible for you to transfer to another school?