Calling People

[Link]

This is the most stupidest thing I've ever seen.

Okay.

When you exchange numbers with people.

They never call.

What gives?

For example. I exchange phone numbers with people and they never call or text me. What? They expect me to call and text them?

No.
:club:

I don't like chasing around people like I'm supposed to kiss their ***.

I initiate the calling/texting and they never respond

This been frustrating me for the longest. My therapist said something about "It's a two way street." Bla bla. If so. Then I'm roasted.

Because no one calls or text me.

 

[Pheenix]

I don't understand... Do you start off calling them or not?
Exchanging numbers with someone doesn't mean "let's text tonight" it just means "let's be able to text each other".

 

[VanillaCreme]

Well, if you don't call or text anyone, how can you expect anyone to call or text you? It does go both ways. Not saying you have to chase someone around, but perhaps they're thinking the same way you are.

 

[condemnedsoul666]

I have to initiate it most of the time, why don't you try it?

 

[Link]

I don't understand... Do you start off calling them or not?
Exchanging numbers with someone doesn't mean "let's text tonight" it just means "let's be able to text each other".

Yeah. I start off calling them. I text. I call.
Suddenly. I stop. They stop caring and move on.

I know it doesn't mean lets text right away now. I'm in the process of building a social circle and this is one of my main problems. It backfires on me and I end up becoming depressed and angry.

Well, if you don't call or text anyone, how can you expect anyone to call or text you? It does go both ways. Not saying you have to chase someone around, but perhaps they're thinking the same way you are.

Makes sense. So you recommend I should just start texting and calling them for the hell of it right?

 

[Pheenix]

Hmm... If you do text 'em quite a couple of times to initiate the conversation, yeah, you're doing all you can. If they still let you slip, it must be that they are avoiding you generally.

 

[Link]

I have to initiate it most of the time, why don't you try it?

Then they end up returning the favor?

Hmm... If you do text 'em quite a couple of times to initiate the conversation, yeah, you're doing all you can. If they still let you slip, it must be that they are avoiding you generally.

Yeah. I'll experiment with this and see what happens.

 

[Limlim]

dammit I can't believe I never thought of using the name link first.

 

[condemnedsoul666]

Some of them do, occasionally

 

[VanillaCreme]

Well, if you don't call or text anyone, how can you expect anyone to call or text you? It does go both ways. Not saying you have to chase someone around, but perhaps they're thinking the same way you are.

Makes sense. So you recommend I should just start texting and calling them for the hell of it right?

Sure. Don't harass people or anything, but there's nothing wrong with trying to contact the person first. Unless they tell you to leave them be, then go for it.

 

[Link]

Thanks everyone.

 

[jjam]

Then they end up returning the favor?

You'd hope so, but maybe they will and maybe they won't. I have had an experience in which the person gave me a number that I hadn't sought in many years, giving me the impression that we were to work towards a meaningful relationship, only to never initiate contact. Contact was returned, which is a decent gesture but ultimately not good enough when combined with a trend of a different not-so-decent gesture and just the idea that the endeavor which motivated the giving and acceptance (and shown appreciation) of the number in the first place was a goal towards a real friendship and not something wrought out of maliciousness or some other foolishness. And in the mist of all this, this person continued to say the things that would make me believe interest on their end was still intact. It's a strange thing indeed...

If, after you've expressed to the person your concerns (while tumultuousness can reflect passion and genuine concern, try not to be tumultuous in doing so) , they fail to put forth effort to reciprocate, you'll do as I did - take it to mean the person was eh... I don't know. You can kind of think of many possible ideas about what the person was up to or had evolved to in order to make them exhibit such behavior, but the simple answer is indifferent/not interested/not concerned about your feelings. If you're like me, you don't grow resentful (NEVER let someone embitter you) but you work to get off the emotional ride of horror.

Fortunately, I haven't had this happen much. In fact, I can't even recall the last time it happened prior to this one.

 

[freedom]

i'm in the same boat as you.

it's pretty much why i've given up on dating. now, i only date chicks who are really into me instead of me having to win them over.

 

[Maree]

I can relate and not only in dates but family. I for years contacted family always being the one to send flowers or whatever. things like birthdays xmass etc. After my Mum died I was alone because i had moved to care for her. Not even my sister bothered to come and stay for a week or a night nothing. For thirty years we lived a mile apart- Nothing & never did her and her husband drop in even for my birthday- not even once. I used to still send always gifts and cards & call once every six months. They have never once called me and said hi how are you.
Not one dam one of them. Now i am older wiser and stopped contacting any of them. I just decided that this year. I wont fib my anger keeps me strong and rightfully so. Some people are just unlucky its as simple as that. Dont be too nice or you get used.
Thats a sad fact of life.

 

[Monica1]

I have the same problem. My friends never call me. Probably because they don't like me. Maybe it's the same thing with you. You're giving them the wrong impression.

 

[Maree]

Hello Monica1,
I am unsure what you mean that I am giving them the wrong impression? People can only be themselves. I have always been kind and helpful and too generous with my time and $.

So is it my fault that i am a basically nice person - a giver?

 

[Ak5]

Good advice, I can't offer any because I never had anyone else in my contact list hah.

But now that I will soon this will come in handy, always make the first move!

 

[jjam]

Oh boy, do I have some stories about that.

Some people are clowns.