Can anyone else here honestly say that they don't have a single friend

[Triple Bogey]

Maybe we should chose a suitable centralised location so that noone has too far to travel.

any ideas ?

 

[lonelyfairy]

*raises a hand* Me. No friends.

 

[johnny196775]

i am hoping some people here can grow old with me as friends. if that makes any sence. I word things poorly. Communicating with words like this is strange for me still.

 

[Superfly47]

Maybe we should chose a suitable centralised location so that noone has too far to travel.

Greenland, half way between England and the US.

 

[Lishniy Chelovek]

I have a phone which I use to read books, surf the net, listen to music and send pictures of my genitals to ramdom strangers (not really but now that I've thought of it...). Apparently you can also use it to talk to other people who are far away but that need has never arisen. I don't have any friends and it's probably just as well because they'd only annoy me by wanting to spend time with me and getting to know me and I have important things to do like watching videos of kittens on youtube and wallowing in my own self pity.

 

[Tiina63]

Maybe we should chose a suitable centralised location so that noone has too far to travel.

Greenland, half way between England and the US.

I would love to go to Greenland one day but at present couldnt afford it.
I was wondering if members in and near the UK would like to meet in the UK? Anyone from further away would also obviously be welcome if they were over here at the time as well.

 

[AmeNoKo]

I do not have any friends.

I used to have many friends. I had a clique from 8th grade all the way until 21. We were about 8 strong, all of us guys and very self-centered males, and we each would have our girlfriends here and there and party a lot and do fun stuff like go to the driving range and lazer tag and all of that.

But we all stopped being friends at 21. We hit another of those moments all of our parents warned us of, about how life catches up to you fast and that you'd best be prepared. It was really all of a sudden, but everyone became aware of where they were in life, and very sad. 99% of my friends got into drugs, pain-pills and then heroin, and since then 3 have been shipped around the country to various rehabs and one of them is in jail now for 2 years. We also drank more violently, and we were all so ashamed and angry about our lives that we became very trigger-like with one another.
In the end, not one of us are friends with another anymore.

I never did drugs, but I did allow drinking to substitute my loneliness, rather than try and make new friends, or to try and live a healthier life and acquire healthier friends. I just drank, by myself, for more than 2 years, and while I've since sobered and cleaned up I don't know how to make friends anymore. I've also lived an agoraphobic lifestyle along with my drinking, and while I'm trying to break down the agoraphobia the truth is that I'm very uncomfortable even speaking with people anymore, and so have a very challenging time approaching strangers to see if they'd like to talk and maybe become friends.
Pretty much, I give it a single shot. I see a group and take a biggggggg breath, then go over and see if I can get into the conversation. When this fails I rush home, lock myself back into my room, and then go a month before trying again.

I think this will change over time for me. It sounds pathetic, but even just doing what I've said is a big step for me in regards to how reclusive I've lived for so long now. I am optimistic that I will someday have friends again.

 

[Tiina63]

What about Manchester as it is pretty much in the centre of the UK.

 

[hiki]

well for a while atleast, i didnt have a real true friend.

i have one right now, but i tend to bully him. probably due to the long period of not having any - losing touch with how you should treat friends.

 

[Delta]

A couple of people I can talk to at work, a couple I chat with online, I have no contact outside work or the internet, I don't mix outside work with the people I can talk to.

So yes I would consider myself to be without actual friends although I realize I have more than some others do, not trying to start a pissing contest or anything.

 

[Pike Creek]

I have one friend, and it's my bf. No family to speak of but I'm absolutely okay with that. But this doesn't necessarily make me lonely because I choose not to be involved with friends. I know this may sound odd to some, but I don't need that in my life. Before I was in a relationship, I was alone for a long time, but my loneliness was due to the lack of romance and partnership, I never even desired friendship. I may be anti-social, that's possible, but I do enjoy my hermit-like lifestyle. I like to interact with folks online, such as here, because it's nice to connect with others as long as its safe for me and I can control my involvement. I don't like forced social situations, I get antsy.

 

[ardour]

I may be anti-social, that's possible, but I do enjoy my hermit-like lifestyle. I like to interact with folks online, such as here, because it's nice to connect with others as long as its safe for me and I can control my involvement. I don't like forced social situations, I get antsy.

You're more unsocial, than anti-social. Whatever floats your boat. Learning to get out of your comfort zone and tolerate people has it's benefits, but I can empathize with the desire for control and having it on your own terms. Firstly because of how exhausting socializing can be, secondly with the fact that by investing time and energy in others you're effectively putting your happiness in their hands.

 

[Pike Creek]

Firstly because of how exhausting socializing can be, secondly with the fact that by investing time and energy in others you're effectively putting you're happiness in their hands.

I agree, socializing is exhausting. We had my bf's sibling over for a few weeks this summer, and I slept for days after she left. It has nothing to do with her, I just feel mentally fatigued after even one long conversation. I had a lot of friends and acquaintances at one point in my life a few decades ago, but I was always lonely, even in a group dynamic. One person in my life is all I can really handle emotionally and mentally.

This is difficult for a lot of people to understand because most people feel as though humans are social animals and that we "need" friendships. I learned to be my own best friend and I really enjoy it. I don't miss having friends to be honest.

 

[constant stranger]

I have an internet friend who used to be a real life friend, since the 2nd grade, but we haven't met since 1967.

I do volunteer work and know some 'associates' in the group. I have a relationship with one of the ladies that is more personal than with any of the others......she has a LOT of friends and acquaintances and a boyfriend from out of state. I don't want to seem needy so I limit our contact to lunch after working together.

No, I don't really have any friends and it's probably a self fulfilling prophecy on my part.

 

[WallflowerGirl83]

Yes I do have friends but a lot of my friends are online and a lot of people tell me they don't count but I think other wise. My internet friends know me a lot better. Before I used to think I had no friends at all but I think that's clearly false now, cause I've met a lot of wonderful people over the last few months. There's still some days where I feel lonely though cause I don't have close friends in my area which I think sucks, a lot of the friends I did have moved or went off to college and I haven't heard from them in a long time.

 

[Emiline]

I don't have a single friend. I have an acquaintance, and I know that person doesn't care about me as friends do. I feel bad 'cos I keep this person in my life as it's the only human contact I have. However I have always offered genuine friendship and loyalty to this person, so what the hell should I feel so bad about?! It's like Rimmer (for any Red Dwarf fans) he drives me crazy, but I have to keep him around to stop me going out of my mind! Other than this person, I only know my doctor, and that's only in her professional capacity. She too says I must keep (let's call him) Rimmer in my life. How the hell did I end up this way? You know? It didn't used to be like this. I'm an intelligent civilised human. I guess for me it's being stuck in the country, in a village that I hate, and I've nothing in common with anyone here. Finding other people here might just save my life. Now I've found people like me. Thanks to you all. Emiline

 

[Disaffected]

I don't have a single friend. I have an acquaintance, and I know that person doesn't care about me as friends do. I feel bad 'cos I keep this person in my life as it's the only human contact I have. However I have always offered genuine friendship and loyalty to this person, so what the hell should I feel so bad about?! It's like Rimmer (for any Red Dwarf fans) he drives me crazy, but I have to keep him around to stop me going out of my mind! Other than this person, I only know my doctor, and that's only in her professional capacity. She too says I must keep (let's call him) Rimmer in my life. How the hell did I end up this way? You know? It didn't used to be like this. I'm an intelligent civilised human. I guess for me it's being stuck in the country, in a village that I hate, and I've nothing in common with anyone here. Finding other people here might just save my life. Now I've found people like me. Thanks to you all. Emiline

Maybe one day you will find Ace, then you can ditch Arnold.

[video=youtube]

 

[kirakn]

Hey guys...Can somebody tell me if they've been in similar situation..?
The friends I used to have (we haven't talked for more than a year), they all stuck together and I was the only one left out...
Tonight they're going to celebrate the university graduation of one of them...
We were really close friends, almost like family, for 4 years....
I don't know if it hurts or if I feel empty.....
I don't know how to react...How am I supposed to feel..?

 

[badhairday]

Next year will be the 20th anniversary of me being friendless, people's opinions of me are, too quiet, too needy, too damaged. Yep I'm all of them, but I still think I'm decent and worthy of friendship

 

[Dreamer88]

Until a couple of months ago I didnt have any friends, now I have one but we hardly get to see each other. I find it really difficult making friends, I get really shy and I'm frightened of saying the wrong thing and embarassing my self or offending somebody. Alot of the time my shyness gets mistaken for rudeness. It is really difficult but the more time I spend around someone the easier it becomes and I can relax and actually have a laugh instead of feeling really anxious. I'm just going to keep trying, hopefully I'll get better at talking to new people eventually and actually make some friends, it would be really nice to have a friend to go out with.