Can loneliness be good?

[DarkSelene]

I'd rather be alone by myself than alone next to someone else. The latter option is hell. All the promise of togetherness with none of the delivery.

Cats are pretty cool too.

I just wanted to put those together, that's all I would have to say.

 

[roy1986]

Lonely people don't compromise on the type of people they associate with. 
Lonely people have deeper thoughts and don't just go with the herd.
However, society makes lonely people feel bad about themselves (in addition to mainstream media propaganda), and portray the "non-lonely" lot as superbly happy.

I don't think that's the case.

Please share your thoughts.

well I think that for most of my life I've been a lonely guy, aside from a 16 months loving relationship 10 years ago. 

I think that as long as you don't give a rats *** and it doesn't bother you, then being alone can be really awesome since you do
whatever the **** you want, whenever you want to and no one will argue with you. 

on the other hand, the moment it starts to become boring then it's a disease and you hate every second of it.

 

[Good Loner]

Lonely people don't compromise on the type of people they associate with. 
Lonely people have deeper thoughts and don't just go with the herd.
However, society makes lonely people feel bad about themselves (in addition to mainstream media propaganda), and portray the "non-lonely" lot as superbly happy.

I don't think that's the case.

Please share your thoughts.

well I think that for most of my life I've been a lonely guy, aside from a 16 months loving relationship 10 years ago. 

I think that as long as you don't give a rats *** and it doesn't bother you, then being alone can be really awesome since you do
whatever the **** you want, whenever you want to and no one will argue with you. 

on the other hand, the moment it starts to become boring then it's a disease and you hate every second of it.

"the moment it starts to become boring" -- reverse everything that made you choose loneliness in the first place. Boredom is better than irritation.

I had been an extremely busy and involved person in most of time life. For 2 years, I am at home, doing my stuff. Occasionally, the thoughts of boredom do try to hit on me. The easy thing way out for me to remember the terrible bosses, cosmetic colleagues and irritating "so-called" friends. With that comparison, I can easily love and appreciate the current situation and feel blissful. 

A tendency of human beings is to seek attention and be recognized. In fact, as I write these, I am keying in a few thoughts to a larger audience just to spread my thoughts. 

I did enjoy adulation and recognition.  However, those were always momentary and to achieve that was a constant struggle.

 

[MissLonely79]

Lonely people don't compromise on the type of people they associate with. 
Lonely people have deeper thoughts and don't just go with the herd.
However, society makes lonely people feel bad about themselves (in addition to mainstream media propaganda), and portray the "non-lonely" lot as superbly happy.

I don't think that's the case.

Please share your thoughts.

I totally agree with you.

 

[morrowrd]

Lonely people don't compromise on the type of people they associate with. 
Lonely people have deeper thoughts and don't just go with the herd.
However, society makes lonely people feel bad about themselves (in addition to mainstream media propaganda), and portray the "non-lonely" lot as superbly happy.

I don't think that's the case.

Please share your thoughts.

If you dig deep enough you can find a silver lining anywhere. Loneliness is a painful existence....period.  The fact that we can become stronger due to our circumstances shows we have strength, as opposed to resilience. Resilient people are insulated, we aren't...we have to improvise and the above post describes life skills a person  <can> learn as a result of circumstances..that lead to loneliness.

 

[DarkParadise97]

Loneliness can be nice few days.. but it's definitely not a good thing.. sooner ol later it bores the hell out of man..

 

[Jently]

I don't think boring fits, although it is an element of the situation. It's about feeling that you're not cared about, that you have no-one to share your thoughts, feelings and aspirations with; that you could drop down dead and no-one would notice and that's not the way humans are wired.
We are designed to live as a group for survival. This explains it better than I ever could

http://www.threeleggeddragon.com/writings/simply/simple.social.html

 

[TheBIgGW]

I like to  be let alone a lot. But Being lonely I don't think that's good

 

[chicoplaya]

I can confirm it myself.
I used to be very solitary when I was 14. I stayed away from any kind of interactions at school during lunch time. At first it felt new, like an unknown sensation. That was my first time being actually alone. But after some weeks things changed, I started to enjoy my solitude and got anxious if I had to interact with people. It was such an inner peace, to the point that I compared solitude with death.
And that period of my life (Lasted 3 months) was I could say, one of the best moments of my life. I found myself, I developed my emotional resilience, learned why solitude is necessary in life and a lot more things.

However I started to socialize again, but I miss my solitude so much.

 

[Sophie99]

In a word, no.

Solitude can be good. I'd even go so far as to say some degree of solitude is very beneficial.

And I agree that it's much better to be alone than to be in bad company. Sadly, the world is full of selfish, self-absorbed, and abusive people – and nobody should ever put up with bad behavior just because they're afraid of being alone.

But I can't say that loneliness can ever be a good thing in any context.

 

[MisterLonely]

In a word, no.

Solitude can be good.  I'd even go so far as to say some degree of solitude is very beneficial.

And I agree that it's much better to be alone than to be in bad company.  Sadly, the world is full of selfish, self-absorbed, and abusive people – and nobody should ever put up with bad behavior just because they're afraid of being alone.

But I can't say that loneliness can ever be a good thing in any context.

I think this is a very accurate description off what loneliness is, and by definition it can not be good...

 

[M_also_lonely]

No

 

[Volt]

Yes.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Maybe

 

[Celt]

Callie you sitting on the fence?

 

[Celt]

Henrik Ibsen wrote he who stands alone stands strong, or words similar to that. There is an element of truth in that I believe.

 

[EmilyFoxSeaton]

It is unfortunate that the terminology got a bit mixed up here.

Loneliness probably isn't ever good. I define that as wanting something you just can't have. For longer than a day. 

Being alone, solitary, by choice, as I get older just seems like the "secret" to life and happiness that I am sad more people don't consider.  I think the OP was talking about being solitary. 

I do think that society (in general) currently is obsessed with making people who are solitary feel badly about themselves. I suspect this is a societal issue always going back years.  Societal ecosystems worked based on people wanting (or having no choice to participate). These systems that are good for "society" are not necessarily good for the individual.  Then, arranged marriages, now regular marriages.

I think society in general does not want people to be too stubborn and unable or unwilling to compromise. This makes society somewhat useless.. so slogans like "it takes a village" "we are the world" and many others fly out there. 

There are people that can't survive a solitary life and it is in their best interest to put pressure on those who can to NOT be so solitary. I know my ability to take or leave people makes others feel lonely or hurt. 

But there is no time in the world where it is possible to be solitary. I paraphrase from "about a boy" this particular time in history is the best time ever to be an island. Even since that movie came out, there are more options. Amazon delivery. Skype?  I actually wonder if this is why people are moving to the selfish and ill-mannered because in the back of their mind they know they have options if they annoy you. In the 1800s you couldn't annoy the people in your town because that was all you had. 

Sure there are moments that I get a little lonely. Watching some outrageous romantic film or book, but then I remember, in the real world... that is super unlikely and most likely will result in pain and aggravation. Then I am happy again.

 

[user 139760]

I've always been a loner. Even though I'm a social ball and most people are attracted to my personality, I can't say I particularly enjoy the company of people. They have a tendency to complicate things versus when I'm alone.
Social conventions are such poppycock. We keep pretending to be someone else because we try not to hurt other people's feelings. Which is why being alone becomes refreshing, unless you can find someone who's as open minded and honest as yourself.
I don't think being a loner is a bad thing. It gave us the entire Clint Eastwood genre of the lone wanderer walking into town shooting all the bad guys, so it can't be all bad ;-)