Child

[Drew88]

I didn't know where to post this, so for now I'll leave it here. I will not get into details into what I have been up to since I've last post, but currently I am waiting on my younger sis who is in labor with her 2nd child. I am posting here to admittedly complain. It makes me feel really good (sarcastic) that she is on her 2nd child and I have not had one yet. Though admittedly she have had a longer time of going at it then me (Decade) and I really only had like 2 month with one partner, 3 with another and the woman I have been with for 4 month just got off birth control. She has a child, but I am finding hard to really feel anything for that child because of a lack of a biological connection. Though it only being 4 months could have something to do with it to.Can Anybody else relate? I do realize that I can be a selfish/ampathic person at times, so if you are going to address me using those descriptions I am aware.

 

[GraceBlossom]

Hi there, not sure I can help, but 4 months isn't that long in the relationship between yourselves, so it all still new in a way. I would just give it time, do you get involved doing things with the child, doesn't need to be much, just playing a board game, going to the park, it can help create the bond. Also just listening to them is a good thing as well. I don't believe you have to be the biological parent to feel things, I see plenty of blended families where the step parents love the step children and vice versa. Also look at the love between adopted families and foster families. Biggest thing with kids is being patient and not sweating the small stuff. Good luck

 

[Drew88]

Hi there, not sure I can help, but 4 months isn't that long in the relationship between yourselves, so it all still new in a way. I would just give it time, do you get involved doing things with the child, doesn't need to be much, just playing a board game, going to the park, it can help create the bond. Also just listening to them is a good thing as well. I don't believe you have to be the biological parent to feel things, I see plenty of blended families where the step parents love the step children and vice versa. Also look at the love between adopted families and foster families. Biggest thing with kids is being patient and not sweating the small stuff. Good luck

I do get involved with the child, but not in anyway that I would label as taking an interest in him. He isn't a bad child, besides the things that comes with having ADHD. He is obnoxiously independent due to who he is and what I would consider lazy parenting. I know that time has not been that long, but I do not really feel anything for him. Part of it is because he isn't mine, he is hers. I am trying to be patient and not sweat the small stuff, its not easy. Not only with the child, but the relationship.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I can somewhat relate, because I get jealous at things like this, too.

But you have to remember that it is your sister. Just be happy for her. You will have children eventually.

 

[Senamian]

It is very common for people not to accept kids that are not their own. A lot of us have a biological drive that says "I want kids of my own!" There seems to be a deeper connection that way.

I am not with my real "parents". My parents are the ones I call mom and dad! And dad, couldn't have kids. They could have gotten all the medical stuff, and he could have had a kid. The thing he said to my mom was "I already have kids." And we are not related to him at all. To know he stepped up, and was willing to raise kids that were not his own was honorable in my own opinion. He was not with her for just a few months either... It was a span of years before they got married.

Definitely give it time. The thing I noticed in your posts... You don't resent the kid. That's a good thing. I doubt my dad really took an immediate interest in my brother and myself the second he was a part of the family