Musicman
Member
Sorry about the wall of text. I need to rant and hey, it's the internet, so you can choose whether o not to read it. College has really been getting me down.
To be clear, I commute, I have a job, and I also work at my old high school (music director for the play - I'm a music education major.) I just started composition lessons and my roommate, a choir director, gives me some music gigs. I'm busy but not overly so. Scholastically, I'm engaged and things are going fine. The nature of my major requires me to be in clubs and erforming ensembles. I'm even in a quintet outside of school.
I talk to people. I'm friendly. I'm interested in what people have to say. I have passions and like to think I'm interesting.
But my God, I'm so freaking lonely and miserable. I had what I thought was a great girlfriend, but she broke up with me out of the blue on the first day of college. Since then I've had no luck with women or making friends... I'm a second semester junior now, in a five year program. I finally made a real friend last semester, but then that fell apart because I was making her abusive boyfriend jealous. Now she makes it a point to ignore my existance, and has done so for two months. It's totally crushed my spirit. There's nothing worse than making what you think is a real friend and losing them after just a semester. I have acquaintances at school, but no real friends. None of them "click" with me the way true friends have in the past. Then some other people at school even say crappy things about me within earshot and imitate me in class... They cannot understand how horrible that makes me feel.
All my high school friends and acquaintances, even the commuters, are having a blast at school. I don't understand what I'm doing wrong... I'm really trying to do well in school and meet new people. But I'm heartbroken and depressed and it has only been getting worse. Romantic scenes in movies make me cry because I don't see that ever happening to me again. I see plenty of frankly ****** people around me who nonetheless have many friends. The worst was losing that one close friend last semester. She even admitted her bf was abusive, but still abandoned our friendship to placate him.
How am I supposed to deal with this crap? What am I doing wrong? And if College is supposed to be the time of your life, am i screwed?
To be clear, I commute, I have a job, and I also work at my old high school (music director for the play - I'm a music education major.) I just started composition lessons and my roommate, a choir director, gives me some music gigs. I'm busy but not overly so. Scholastically, I'm engaged and things are going fine. The nature of my major requires me to be in clubs and erforming ensembles. I'm even in a quintet outside of school.
I talk to people. I'm friendly. I'm interested in what people have to say. I have passions and like to think I'm interesting.
But my God, I'm so freaking lonely and miserable. I had what I thought was a great girlfriend, but she broke up with me out of the blue on the first day of college. Since then I've had no luck with women or making friends... I'm a second semester junior now, in a five year program. I finally made a real friend last semester, but then that fell apart because I was making her abusive boyfriend jealous. Now she makes it a point to ignore my existance, and has done so for two months. It's totally crushed my spirit. There's nothing worse than making what you think is a real friend and losing them after just a semester. I have acquaintances at school, but no real friends. None of them "click" with me the way true friends have in the past. Then some other people at school even say crappy things about me within earshot and imitate me in class... They cannot understand how horrible that makes me feel.
All my high school friends and acquaintances, even the commuters, are having a blast at school. I don't understand what I'm doing wrong... I'm really trying to do well in school and meet new people. But I'm heartbroken and depressed and it has only been getting worse. Romantic scenes in movies make me cry because I don't see that ever happening to me again. I see plenty of frankly ****** people around me who nonetheless have many friends. The worst was losing that one close friend last semester. She even admitted her bf was abusive, but still abandoned our friendship to placate him.
How am I supposed to deal with this crap? What am I doing wrong? And if College is supposed to be the time of your life, am i screwed?