Common mistakes lonely people make that keep them lonely

[Antonio]

All lonely people should get together so they don't feel lonely anymore.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

Lonely people do not like me because I am bitter.

 

[Peaches]

what about those people whose only "mistake" is to be ill or not in good health so that they can't have a social life even if they wanted to? how do they get friends if they can't go hang out with the others?

 

[Phaedron]

People are lonely for various reasons. Actually, distracting yourself from the issue of loneliness is a good thing. Just do what you like to do. Whether thats hanging out online or doing things outside the home. People who are NOT lonely, don't make an issue out of their loneliness, and their getting out isn't about trying to solving that issue. The trap is in looking at life on the basis of your lack of something and then defining yourself accordingly. Just get on with life and let it happen naturally. At the same time, be reasonable. Don't expect to make friends if you never leave the home.

 

[Peaches]

I wish there was a way to ask people what they think is wrong with you, I mean, it might be very relative, but maybe there IS a pattern. Is there a questionnaire somewhere for that?

 

[Ak5]

The most common mistake is not taking risks, mainly due to social anxiety.

 

[toomanypuppies]

Every time I've invited someone to do something, they just flake, which tells me they really weren't interested.

 

[isthatso]

They have a negative attitude towards people

Studies have shown that lonely people tend to be more cynical and negative about other people. This could be a cause or effect of being lonely, or both. In practice this manifests in a picky, superior, or snobby attitude. It may be an over compensation for insecurity, anxiety, or low self-esteem. It may also have routes in somewhat justified feelings of being different, left-out, and alienated. A past of social experiences that haven't gone well may also have left a lonely person feeling jaded about other people.

Describes me to a tee. people are hard work. But my excuse is I'm not as articulate or as interesting as the more extroverted types who tends to hog the limelight. Plenty of those around. Just the other day I noticed, one who dominates conversations, have a way of diminishing your sense of humour for example, and maximising their
"hilarious" contributions. In fact now I see that these attention seeking types, are more insecure than me...because they simply "must be the centre of attention". Life is a competition after all.

 

[pacman]

What an article!! I feel like I could just have put my name up there and say "Hi people, this is for the most part how I live my life" lol

 

[bulmabriefs144]

The point I most identify with is the one about being guarded. It is embarrassing to admit to being lonely, so often I am careful what I say to others.

Oddly, I manage to be guarded even though I talk and talk. I don't understand how it happens, because I'm afraid of sharing stuff, but I want to get stuff off my chest. I've told my life story more than a few times, and it doesn't seem to help with opening up.

The thing that's guarded with me is my emotions. I don't like feeling like I should depend on someone, and having them let me down.