Confidence

[that1guy]

Hey everyone. I was hoping that I could maybe get some help with boosting my confidence. I like to play poor pitiful me, as some of you can tell with my posts but I can't be doing that forever if I hope to actually get somewhere in my love/social life. Heres my problems-I can't ever think of what to say when I am around a girl I like, I convince myself why I should NOT talk to her (ex. I'm too ugly or weird) and why I don't deserve to be with her and that i'll never make it with her. I don't really know how it started but this bs has been a major problem for years and I am getting really sick of being alone. I'll feel like I am the only guy in my school who is not in or around a group of girls and it seems like every other guy has at least one girl who knows who they are, but not me. I'm just by myself. Sorry if this is depressing but could I get some help? Anyone? Please?

 

[Badjedidude]

Well, really, the only way to build confidence is the hard way. I know that sounds like a hard answer...but it's true. You have to actually go out and brave your nervousness and defy your inner negative feelings, and just go for it.

Are some girls going to reject you? Yeah. That's just part of it...but not EVERY girl will reject you. I guarantee that there's at least ONE girl in school that would chat with you.

Are your nerves and negative feelings going to work against you? Yeah. That's the hard part. But bravery isn't about having no fear; it's about doing what you have to, DESPITE the fear.

Are you going to make mistakes and awkward social blunders? Yeah. That's also part of it. Just do the best you can to learn from your mistakes.

Just try to be yourself, that's all. Don't worry about impressing girls or you never will. Just have fun, talk about small things, and gain some of those basic social skills...and you'll gain both experience AND confidence. You'll be fine...just GO AND DO IT!!!! ^_^

----Steve

 

[Lonesome Crow]

As far as females are concern. I've always had male and female friends as long as I can remember.
It wasn't so much about confidence with me. It was more about being exposed to the opposite sex and inneracting with them.
As a kid I never thought much about it...wheather its was the right/wrong, good/bad to talk/inneract with girls. it was just
natural. I never ponder if I was good looking enough, cool enough, say the right/wrong thing, wear the right/wrong clothe.
I simply just played with girls as I did with boys. Not all the girls liked me...as it was the same in general or straight across
the board. Not everybody liked me. Nor I liked everyone. It was okay...I simply hung around people that were my friends or
friendly towards me. I've always had a girl that had a crush on me from grade school. It was natrual. We just rolled around
pushed each other on the swings...etc Plenty of body contact. SEX ???....I had no concept of sex.
The girls would want to hold my hands, hug me....as would my male friends...We just didn't know none of these things were suppose
to be wrong. We had no concept of not being good enough. We had no concept of being depressed. If we feel hurted..we cried, If we feel happy, we laughed
then my friend would hug me. If we fight or argue..we argue. Then we simply went on . We had no concept of forgiveness.
We had no concept of letting go....we just got over **** and went on. If we totally disagree for a while..We simply found
new friends...when later on. We would play with each other again. If i had a crush on a girl...i had a crush on a girl.
A month later a new girl will have a crush on me ..visa versa. It was the same with friendship in general.

WE ALSO HAD NO CONCEPT OF SELF CONFIDENCE.

What I'm saying is...you have all of these abilities within you already. You were borned with it. It's so simple and natural...it's too complicated for some people to figure out.
The so called grown up people/adults or figure of authorities made it complicate for ya.

You're already completely whole. You lack nothing or need to build anything or earn anything. JUST ACCEPT IT or remove the guilt, shame, seperations, delusions, vails.
Some people say your natraul intuitions....whoa..that sounds really complicated.lmao
Some people say it's a rememberance. As in you were never separated from god. Becuase god lives inside of you. You are prefect as you are. WOw...thats sounds really spiritaul.
Are you consiously aware of this??? If you are...you won't have any self confidence issues or questions. You''ll simply just grasp it or it'll be natural for you.
If you are aware that you are whole and complete already...you'll simply stop comparing yourself to others..Why compair yourself to others if you're perfect and whole already?
Don't think or aynalize it..Just accept it. Don't think about it, you'll just do it...becuase it's natrual.

Childish belief/faith..that would be the riddle.

You live in accordance to your beliefs...if you belief you don't have self confidence...there you go.
If you belief you must build confidence..there you go.
If you belief you lack love..there you go.
If you belief you lack power...there you go.
If you belief you must earn love...there you go.
If you belief you're not good enough...there you go.

 

[ThisGuy]

what helped me build confidence was going to the gym. you should give a shot man. youll see yourself change a lot after just one month. both physically and mentally