Coping With Jealousy?

[Lost Drifter]

Today started off normal at work. I went in, made sure to greet everyone and enquire about their well-being (because if I don’t they certainly won’t bother) but in no time at all I found myself sat alone surrounded by colleagues all joking and talking with each other. Any attempt to join in was responded with polite but patronising smiles (so far so normal) but for some reason today this really annoyed me a lot.

It made me want to jump up and demand some interaction and worst of all I felt like such a jerk for being jealous of others having fun, like the Grinch, I hated myself for getting angry at others being happy. Does anyone have any advice on how to cope with jealously in situations like this?

I think my ridiculous emotions made me feel worse than being ignored again.

 

[flaneur]

Are you sure they were patronizing you? Maybe it was in your head?

As for moments of jealousy, the books have taught me to eliminate the desire rather than be miserable in trying to attain it. Of course, that isn't easy for most people. I guess you'd have to go at the source of what's making you jealous, which is your own unhappiness and focus on fixing that instead of trying to combat jealousy. If you do the former, the latter will follow naturally. It's tough.

 

[SophiaGrace]

Yeah that happens to me a lot too Lost, not being included. I just tend to do my own thing.

 

[Felix]

Ignore, think rationally why you have those feelings and why it's best not to act on them.

Is hard though.

 

[HappyYogi]

Yes, I feel it sometimes. I would call it "envy" more than jealousy but I can't explain the difference right now.

Except for you it's right under your nose. : ( For me I guess FB does it when I see some people get all sorts of affection, or I went to a dinner to a gf's house and saw all her birthday cards from friends.

I think, too, when I had a job like that, I was also on the "outside"...in fact I've experienced it many times. I hate it when people are fake with me, or overly polite...I know what you mean.

Do you have any idea? My bf, who is also an outsider but a succesful one, said it's "group cohesion". He said he never fit into the group. You can look up that term...there is a lot to say about it.

For me my biggest pain is having my siblings treat me that way...the falseness...very painful.

**hugs**

 

[Ak5]

Ignore, think rationally why you have those feelings and why it's best not to act on them.

Is hard though.

Yep.

Jealousy sucks, I have them from time to time; the best thing to do is analyze the situation rationally and find a way to include yourself in with your colleagues a bit more.

 

[whispers]

Have you ever heard of the mirror effect ? You may find that interesting. I use that technique alot. The basic of it is that everything and everyone around you is showing you whats hidden inside you.

My example: i wake up, my daughter is already crying cause she cant find clothes, she goes to school, my cat is whinning like crazy, the bird is scrreaming and the dog is crying. As i was about to flip out, i realised that they were all sending me a message...i was sad...after realising that , having a good cry and dealing with the issue. Everyone around me stopped crying.

Looking at your situation, i think the messages they were sending you is '' YOU feel like an outcast, you feel like you dont deserve to be included.''
Think about it, if you feel it, try and deal with it on you own, or with us here.
Its all about beeing creator of your own life, You are not a victim of others, you can take charge. By changing your view, everything around you changes.