Coping

[SleepyPony]

Hi, im new to these forums and already have a question.

Im not depressed, I cured my depression by myself and if I feel a bit down I just watch MLP and I feel better {probably sounds silly but I dont really care. Better to watch a cartoon then be depressed in my opinion}

Im also not trying to prove that I can see my future. I dont know whats going to happen but I would like to be prepared if it wont.

Im 20 and never had any luck with women. They just seem to not see me or like me. Sometimes they pay attention to me but just as aquantance. They dont even care to be friends with me and I tried to be passive or initiative but they had an excuse all the time.

It may be because Im not actually a very good looking guy. Im skinny and only 170 cm tall so most girls are the same size as me which I heard is a turn off. My face is somehow average but Im really short sighted so I have to wear glasses and cause of my eye problems I wont be able to have a driver licence. Im also poor cause of 15% unemployment rate thats here. Ok this was all superficial which I hate but it plays its role. Im not materialistic I dont care about how women look I was always interested in personality. I dont care about sex either im a bit asexual. All I want is someone nice and who will love me for me. The only thing I hate is permanent laziness.

The point is that here where I live I never saw a guy like me having a gf. Mostly because all the other men are handsome. And most of them dont have bad personalities either so maybe thats why they would rather have them.

Im outgoing person thats a bit shy sometimes. I like to improve myself. I love doing martial arts and I love to learn new things. Im a bit introvert girls say im boring cause i dont like to party or being drunk all the time or having sex. This is not made up. It was said to me more than once.

It seem over now because most of the females I knew have a bf of 3 years or are engaged. After I finish my studying it would be definitely over. I mean im in a class with 27 women and all of them have their significant other. They dont have time for making new friends. Maybe it wouldnt bother me if the handsome couples wouldnt be cuddling everywhere around the city or everyone talking about it and pointing it out to me. Looking at me as a kid whose life will mean nothing.

Well I got a lot other worries and bigger ones than being alone so I would really like to check this problem out if possible.

Any suggestions to be happy without the significant other? I mean I have hobbies and a lot of them but still.. sometimes I feel like crying a bit

I apologise for any mistakes in my english. Im still a student and its not my main languade. Its also a bit longer but I had the need to vent.

 

[CherrySlushie91]

As a fellow curer of depression i think watching a cartoon is an awesome way to fight the blues! Stay positive, there is more to life than drinking and partying and you will never get what you are searching for from those type of people. How about friendship? intimate relationships are important, they don't have to be sexual. love is something that grows and most of the time it's when you least expect it. i think you are going thru the process of finding meaning in life. you seem to have hobbies down, what about other things like religion or travel. Build yourself up, confidence can be an important thing in the long run. remember "To get something you've never had, you have to do something you've never done."

 

[Tealeaf]

You wouldn't be the first person I've heard say that cartoon cheered them up.

I wouldn't say things are even nearly over, though. People have paired off much later than 20. Do you like where you live other than your dating options? If not, if you ever decide to move somewhere else there'll be a new atmosphere full of new people.

Relocating may not be an easy option, though, and I don't think it's a good idea if the only reason is for dating.

I know several people who've made good friends or met their significant others online, and while dating sites themselves have a bad reputation for a reason there are a lot of online communities based on interests and lifestyles. If you enjoy online communities (some of them may have offline meets, such as the MLP community), it might be beneficial to try to befriend more people to keep you company. It's not love, but it's people who care what happens to you and that's something good in itself.

Loneliness isn't an easy thing to deal with, and there's only so much to be done if finding other fulfilling things to do and making friends isn't cutting it.