Could another person be happy with your life?

[Meaw]

I think many would do fine with my life, especially calm, introvert people. For me however this life is too silent, too powerless, too meaningless, too isolated. Too empty. Of the things I value, many aren't there or are there in too small quantities.

 

[TheRealCallie]

I think many would do fine with my life, especially calm, introvert people. For me however this life is too silent, too powerless, too meaningless, too isolated. Too empty. Of the things I value, many aren't there or are there in too small quantities.

I'm open to trading any time.  :club:

 

[MisterLonely]

We are all products off our environment, if you were to take me out of my "life" and place a random person in it I think they could be very happy, they will have a stable means off income, a roof over their head and plenty off luxury to be comfortable in it.

However, if you were to replace the live that person lived with mine than I can answer you with a simple, No, I don't think anyone could be happy with it, I'm not... given the same circumstances and events I have to believe they would end up roughly the same.

 

[kamya]

I don't think many people would be very happy. I live it day in and day out and I can just barely feel it. We will see how it changes in the future. Goals, plans, hard work and hope for a better future are all I have anymore. Someone stepping into my place wouldn't necessarily have those.

 

[constant stranger]

A lot of people would probably trade places with me. I've got good health, I'm comfortable with my looks, I'm reasonably bright, i don't have to worry about money. But I've never been happy. A lot of people could probably do better playing the hand of cards that I've been dealt.

 

[wallflower79]

I think plenty of people would be happy with my life, considering the good things that I have going now. However, I doubt that anybody would be in the same position of life as mine even if they were to somehow be born into my life due to the fact that the choices I have made in life have taken me in wildly different directions than I think could be reasonably predicted. I am very impulsive and often irrational and will do things such as relocating to a different state on a whim. My life has taken a meandering path and though I often wonder what others would do with my life, I believe that I have a personality unique to me that was not necessarily shaped by my environment and has taken me to the places I have been and the place I am now. I think even if somehow someone were to switch places with me at this point in my life, I would still end up somewhere completely different from where they would take my life because I am determined to preserve my individuality at any cost and still follow my intuition and impulses even if they take me somewhere risky because I believe in living life with meaning and I want something more from life than what I have now. I guess that I am searching for that meaning, and I will do whatever strange impulse seems right to me until I find it. I am starting to be more happy in general, but I am held back by fear that it might suddenly disappear, and I still feel like a certain something is missing in my life that would give it the meaning I want so badly.

 

[Meaw]

Wallflower, that was an interesting post to read. I liked it ^_^

 

[Corineus]

yes i think most of the people heading back up the a30 from holiday would love to swap with me in my house on the hill (not that traffic ever comes past) and maybe the lifestyle (surfing and river swimming yesterday) not the job though as its pretty low status but i love the 3 day weeks and the people i work with are great .
just need to be happier in myself and appreciate what ive got ,easy to say but im my own worst enemy

 

[user 139760]

I wouldn't wish my life on anyone else.

 

[HappyBread]

I wonder how much of happiness is genetic predisposition and how much of it is circumstances. Not to sound too negative, but I couldn't imagine having the lives of at least 75% of the people in the world (presuming I still had my negative mindset), and yet many of these people claim to be happy. I think on paper a lot of people would love to have my life, but I'd probably trade places with an average person if he claimed to be happy. I could picture a lot of people being happy if they had my looks, intelligence, life circumstances, even my physical maladies. But I've always been miserable with the life I was given. I hope one day I can enjoy this life of mine, after all, what's to say I can't adopt the mindset of happier people whose lives aren't as appealing as mine on paper?

Hmm it does fascinate one when we see an individual who seem to "Have it all" but appears unhappy while a person who "Has nothing" seems to be happier than the former, eh?

One of the things that can lead to this, I believe, is the idea/ concept of "Expectation". One study done up by a researcher (Can't remember his name, ARGH!) explained pretty clearly that one of the main causes to happiness being low in lives of first world individuals are due to the increased expectations to a "Happy life" or even just a "Life of Content/ Satisfaction".

If we think about it, that makes a lot of sense doesn't it?

Why do we feel unhappy? We do, because certain needs in our lives are unmet.
What about those who seem to have it all? Why is it that they feel "Empty"? 

One of the reasons could be due to a high expectation level. If it is unrealistic, it could be dangerous as it can lead one to strive towards a goal that is impossible to achieve and thus, will inevitably cause the individual to forever be unhappy and unfulfilled.

Traditionally, based on Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs (Old model):

1. Physiological - Food, water, etc
2. Safety - Shelter, job security, etc
3. Love and Belonging - Relationships, sense of belonging
4. Self-Esteem
5. Self-Actualization - Striving for more in life

An individual will be able to function optimally if they are able to hit all 5 requirements. Should you have an unmet need at level 2, you will not be able to move onto level 3 until you satisfy level 2.

Naturally, there are specific questions that can challenge the theory but for the sake of our current topic, I will not go there as it might add confusion into the mix lol!

I think this is an interesting theory to look at for a little study and analysis for your case, no?

Perhaps we can learn something from your current unfulfilled needs. Who knows- You might be able to learn something new about yourself too as you look into things with a new perspective / knowledge!
Assuming you've never seen nor heard of this theory before, of course XD

Hope you are doing good btw

 

[Jently]

^ ^ ^

Personally I would have thought that No. 5 Self-Actualization - Striving for more in life would mean that you are automatically negating any sense of satisfaction or happiness with what you already have in life so will never be content?
Just my thoughts.

 

[HappyBread]

^ ^ ^

Personally I would have thought that No. 5 Self-Actualization - Striving for more in life would mean that you are automatically negating any sense of satisfaction or happiness with what you already have in life so will never be content?
Just my thoughts.

Mmm to my understanding, you don't negate those sense at "Self-Actualization". In fact, you'd be embracing them because to be at this stage would mean you'd have gotten every needs of your own satisfied. Now, because you are fully content, you want to do more and thus, start to help others in their lives as well.

A prime example would be philanthropists. Why do they contribute to society when they could've just kept all the resources to themselves? They've gotten their needs satisfied and wish to help others satisfy their basic needs as well in one of the ways that they know they can afford to do in a massive scale.

Yes, some probably did it for publicity but there are ppl who do perform such acts out of pure kindness and love, which I think is just beautiful

 

[Jently]

Mmm, ok you're looking at it from a different angle. Because the words 'self' and 'striving for more' were used I assumed it meant you were looking for more for yourself as opposed to reaching out to others.
I agree with your final paragraph, shame there's not more of it about, or maybe we just don't hear about it.

 

[SilentLife]

Slumdwellers, hungry people, people with serious illnesses, disabled people, people in warzones, also people with way overstressed life would be very happy with my life.

So even if I am not very happy about my life, I can't lose perspective that it could be much worse.

To bring a comparison from another field. A middle-class person may envy the rich people and dreams day and night, how it would be like to live like them. But that person could easily forget that there are people in poverty, who only dream of how it would feel like being in middle-class...

I like to think that this is a key in "finding happiness". Yeah, everything is not perfect (whose life is anyway?), but there are people out there that do worse. And you can thank your lucky stars your fate has not been that bad.

 

[Jently]

Slumdwellers, hungry people, people with serious illnesses, disabled people, people in warzones, also people with way overstressed life would be very happy with my life.

So even if I am not very happy about my life, I can't lose perspective that it could be much worse.

To bring a comparison from another field. A middle-class person may envy the rich people and dreams day and night, how it would be like to live like them. But that person could easily forget that there are people in poverty, who only dream of how it would feel like being in middle-class...

I like to think that this is a key in "finding happiness". Yeah, everything is not perfect (whose life is anyway?), but there are people out there that do worse. And you can thank your lucky stars your fate has not been that bad.

Wise words SilentLife, wise words and something that I need to remember more often than I do

 

[HappyBread]

Mmm, ok you're looking at it from a different angle.  Because the words 'self' and 'striving for more' were used I assumed it meant you were looking for more for yourself as opposed to reaching out to others.
I agree with your final paragraph, shame there's not more of it about, or maybe we just don't hear about it.

Haha indeed. In that theory, Striving for more equates to striving for more achievements after acquiring every necessities in your hierarchy of needs. This usually leads to giving back to the community.

As we know, happy people tend to be nicer and more generous. They are more likely to be able to afford giving things away, be it emotional support or monetary support since they will have a surplus in such resources as compared to those who are still trying to fulfill specific needs.

Always nice to meet people who meet nice people, no?

Slumdwellers, hungry people, people with serious illnesses, disabled people, people in warzones, also people with way overstressed life would be very happy with my life.

So even if I am not very happy about my life, I can't lose perspective that it could be much worse.

To bring a comparison from another field. A middle-class person may envy the rich people and dreams day and night, how it would be like to live like them. But that person could easily forget that there are people in poverty, who only dream of how it would feel like being in middle-class...

I like to think that this is a key in "finding happiness". Yeah, everything is not perfect (whose life is anyway?), but there are people out there that do worse. And you can thank your lucky stars your fate has not been that bad.

Indeed, there was a study done, linking happiness levels to the idea of "Expectations".


Regardless of classes, expectations affects everyone and how they feel about their current state of life.

There's a reason why some people who seemingly have "nothing", is happier than someone who seemingly have "everything". 

Why do some kids/ their parents get upset when they get B in their quiz while some are content with C or even  D? Expectations!

Expect lesser and you'll be easily satisfied and hence, happy lol!

 

[Black Manta]

Some of the guilt I have is that I know I'm better off than 97% of the people on this planet and I'm still sad. There's a lot of people that would probably be happy with my life. I think that my expectations are too high.

 

[Rainbows]

I guess most people would be happy with my life. As long as you take away the depression, then my life is pretty rad.

 

[Tranquil]

Could another person be happy with your life?

If you are happy with your life, it is more likely you are progressing forward. That is, one is working towards their own concepts of being happy with their life.

If you are happy with your life progression, you won't worry if others will be happy with it or not, because you are already happy. It becomes the others person's problem and not your own.

People tend to be happy for other peoples happiness of their life, rather than being happy with their life.

 

[lonelyfairy]

Definitely not, they would be as miserable as I am.