Dating older women

[Badjedidude]

and then she said ah don't worry there is ton of younger girls out there for you.

She was simultaneously complimenting you and seeking a compliment/reassurance for herself.

The correct response would have been something like this:

"Not every guy wants a younger girl."

Or maybe something like:

"I don't want a younger girl. I want a WOMAN."

 

[Lacoste44]

Well ya I could of used that but what about the fact that maybe I am trying to hard and she doesn't see us dating cause of age. How do I rebound now she did say she would go next week. I was pretty devasted when she said she couldn't go but family does come first as long as it wasn't a excuse to not go with me.

 

[Brian]

Oh damn. Answering with one of BJD's ideas would've been surefire in one way or another, but...hindsight is 20/20.

I'm lost from here on out. The fog lights aren't bright enough.

 

[cheaptrickfan]

and then she said ah don't worry there is ton of younger girls out there for you.

She was simultaneously complimenting you and seeking a compliment/reassurance for herself.

The correct response would have been something like this:

"Not every guy wants a younger girl."

Or maybe something like:

"I don't want a younger girl. I want a WOMAN."

^^^ Yes. The second one is especially effective.

 

[Lacoste44]

Hey there, I asked her today when she wanted to go to the movies but she basically avoided the subject and joking said I am going tonight then said just kidding I am going to the gym. She kind of has been not so flirty with my as of late and now makes small comments that I would like a young girl. Like today she said I heard you were dancing with young girls on the weekend, which I wasn't and I told her 17 is to young for me anyways and then she said oh you like them. It's like come on how do you know how I feel it's like she is trying to push me away.

Having a tough time dealing with it cause I see her at least 1-3 times a day, but don't want to come straight out and say I am attracted to her, I have a feeling she may just say don't be silly and could make the working situation a bit akward. Maybe I came on to strong and she sensed it I don't know.

 

[Badjedidude]

but don't want to come straight out and say I am attracted to her, I have a feeling she may just say don't be silly and could make the working situation a bit akward. Maybe I came on to strong and she sensed it I don't know.

I'm a bit confused as to how you think you can come on too strong when you won't tell her straight up that you're attracted to her.

Balls up, man!! Just do it!! She's obviously giving you every opportunity to just COME OUT AND SAY IT!!! Just be a man and do it.

It's not that she's pushing you away. What she's doing is sending you signals...and those signals demand a response that you apparently aren't giving her. So you need to step up the intensity of the signals that YOU are sending her.

TELL HER THAT YOU ARE ATTRACTED TO HER AND WANT TO PURSUE A RELATIONSHIP WITH HER!!!

You're not going to get anywhere with this woman by being subtle, so get a move on, man!!

 

[Brian]

But she's kind of giving him the cold shoulder now...doesn't that mean she's not interested?

 

[Badjedidude]

^^^ It's not the cold shoulder. She's stepping back, inviting HIM to make the move.

Now he just needs to MAKE that move.

 

[Nivek]

Hey guy's

This weekend a lady from work and I went for a road trip to one of her friends place and stayed the night. I am 24 and shes 41. We get along great with each other and in no ways do I feel like she treats me like a kid. We joke and flirt all the time together and I always throw in the older age comments for fun and she laughs along. She doesn't look like she's 41 and I try to look past her age anyways, I look for the enjoyment that we share together. At work sometimes I don't see her all day and then other days I may see here for 5 minutes or so. We have worked together for 4 years and she has dated 1 guy in those 4 years and he was a loser, when I met him.

I have a huge crush on her and it's like we were meant to be together but our ages are 17 years apart. She has a 15 year old kid and a 21 year old who doesn't live at home. She has been married twice but I think it's the guy's loss. She's a great person and I enjoy being around her and think about her all the time sometimes. The thing is I don't know if she would even consider dating someone 17 years younger then her and is this is just a fun thing for her or a friendship thing. I like the mature age thing about her, compared to girls my age and the fact that she is happy with her self and she seams to enjoy being around me. She doesn't buy me stuff and it's not like she's looking for that one night stand. She even let me drive her car this weekend which kind of showed me that she trusted me. If she didn't like me I am sure she wouldn't invited me this weekend to come along with her. She like to classify her self as a cougar but I don't really see it that.


I just don't know how to approach asking her out and if she would even be willing to go on a date with me.

Cowboy up, ask her out, have a good time, but don't expect to have a serious long term relationship with this woman - and don't even think of marriage.
Trust me, after awhile you'll start thinking "she'll be 65 when I'm only 48 ... hmmm?" I'm 41 and I just got out of a relationship with a 54 year old woman who looks great for her age, but still ... she'll be 60 and I wouldn't even be 50 yet.
Date (she IS interested), have the good ***, boost her ego, but do NOT allow yourself to fall I love with her.

 

[EveWasFramed]

Cowboy up, ask her out, have a good time, but don't expect to have a serious long term relationship with this woman - and don't even think of marriage.
Trust me, after awhile you'll start thinking "she'll be 65 when I'm only 48 ... hmmm?" I'm 41 and I just got out of a relationship with a 54 year old woman who looks great for her age, but still ... she'll be 60 and I wouldn't even be 50 yet.
Date (she IS interested), have the good ***, boost her ego, but do NOT allow yourself to fall I love with her.

lol, and here I thought I was the only one left who says "cowboy up."
Welcome to the forum by the way.

 

[Nivek]

Cowboy up, ask her out, have a good time, but don't expect to have a serious long term relationship with this woman - and don't even think of marriage.
Trust me, after awhile you'll start thinking "she'll be 65 when I'm only 48 ... hmmm?" I'm 41 and I just got out of a relationship with a 54 year old woman who looks great for her age, but still ... she'll be 60 and I wouldn't even be 50 yet.
Date (she IS interested), have the good ***, boost her ego, but do NOT allow yourself to fall I love with her.

lol, and here I thought I was the only one left who says "cowboy up."
Welcome to the forum by the way.

Thanks!

 

[Brian]

So did anything more happen with this?

Quite curious

 

[Lacoste44]

Hey guys, no much to update. She has kind of been blowing me off and not as flirty as she use to be. I have tried to ask her to go places but seams she always has an excuse. Even tried flirting a bit but she doesn't react like she use to and she is a flirt with others as well. I don't want to come out and tell her how I feel because we work together it could make it uncomfortable and she may not take it serious. I still have a strong attraction for her as i see her all week long but feel that if she doesn't make a move toward me she is the one missing out on something great.

 

[Badjedidude]

I don't want to come out and tell her how I feel because we work together it could make it uncomfortable and she may not take it serious. I still have a strong attraction for her as i see her all week long but feel that if she doesn't make a move toward me she is the one missing out on something great.

You didn't act on it.

That's why she's moving in other directions.

If you'd have actually told her how you feel, instead of dithering and wondering about it, then you would have a good chance of being with her right now.

Lesson learned for next time, I guess.

 

[EveWasFramed]

What ever became of Lacoste? (hmm)

 

[argosgold]

Dude, there is so much GOOD starting-a-relationship advice on this thread. Including "cowboying up" which is a new one on me.

"Man up" and "Grow a pair"... that I'm familiar with

 

[EveWasFramed]

*shrugs* Cowboy up, or in a female's case, put on your big-girl panties.

Or as Larry the Cable guy would say.... "git-r-done!" lol

 

[cheaptrickfan]

What ever became of Lacoste? (hmm)

Must've got eaten by a cougar.



rimshot

 

[EveWasFramed]

omfg ctf...roflmao!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Badjedidude]

^^^I'm not gonna go into specifics... but it may have been..

*cough*

CTF or Eve

*cough*

teehee