Dating Xpendable: Pros and Cons

[ardour]

Forget it.

 

[kaetic]

I might be in the minority here, but...why would you have to change anything?

...say you're 99% accurate in self description. I see several comments about "your cons are something you can work on because they aren't major" which is true, but...why?

... You should only work on your cons if they ate things that bother you, as a person, for yourself, not in order the be a more attractive potential mate. I mean, I read the list and can easily see several women really liking that ( I've already commented on your appearance in the past, so I wont go there again with this pic, you sexy beast you ;-) ), but the fact that many replies have been "oh, the cons are minor" instead of "you sound like a great catch" kind of surprise me.
Is perfection now required in today's dating world?

It's a pro/con list he made up, I assumed these were things that bothered him... As would most people. I think he looks fine too, but these are his insecurities... It's up to him to accept or improve until he's comfortable with it. We've all got a list, and it doesn't go away just because someone else is ok with our "flaws", because it's not really about that person. Sure it's nice to feel accepted by others... But I think this is more about being able to accept yourself, if he needs to work on those things to do that... That's up to him.


The subjective eyes you talked about can go either way. Personally, I think people are usually harder on themselves than they are on others.

 

[QuietDesperation2.0]

Eh, I can kind of understand as a Forever Alone female. Most people have some desirable traits as well as undesirable traits. Forever Alone types are no exception. For some of us, our desirability is "hidden" most of the time. It sure is for me.

 

[Xpendable]

The bad thing is desirability has changed over the years and we are left with nothing. Average men are now the bottom of the barrel. Tell you what, those traits like intelligence and kindness were never the determining factors in deciding attractiveness, women just accepted them as a nuisance. They balanced out what they actually needed in a man and realized any harmless trait was more or less a bonus. In 2019 traits are finally become irrelevant, it's just trying to date the top 10% of men and nothing more. And for those who will say "I date an average man so you're wrong", well, can you actually do better than that? Does that logic apply to you? Most people date what they can, instead of what they ideally want. But modernity has made it so women have so many options that no one is settling anymore unless they are with that 10%, and maybe even go to the 1%. We are heading into a decade of relationship crisis; more singles and less frequency between sexual partners, as well as less sexual partners overall; more and more single mothers and lower birthrates. More alienated men and more Forever Alone people every year. I don't have a lot going on for me, maybe if I was 20 and living in the 60', but if a woman wants to be pragmatic, I'm pretty much worthless.

 

[SirPanda]

Well one con is they stalk you wherever you go and passive aggressively write things taking jabs at your personally in the guise of threads meant to illicit intellectual thought about self reflection.

 

[LostintheBardo]

Maybe X and QuietDesperation could be good for each other