I know people haven't liked the tone I've taken in trying to talk to SocratesX, and think I'm being counterproductive. I'm going to try again. If the moderators think I'm being condescending or unhelpful, then I have no problem with this post being removed. The last thing I want to do is make SocratesX feel worse than he does, or give the wrong advice.
SocratesX said:
OK, I have no idea what's up with AndrewM saying that I was told to "act white". WHAT?? How does people criticizing my social skills or lifestyle have anything to do with being instructed to act white? You can't "act white" just like you can't "act gay, or act black" or whatever. I try to act like a hardworking, strong-willed, high-moraled American man.
This is what I was trying to say - you might disagree with this of course.
I think we're all brought up by a community or group to behave a certain way. People who don't conform to this behaviour are outsiders. With very few exceptions, groups consider outsiders to be bad and a threat to the group, even if that's completely untrue. Anyway, at some point you (as in anyone) grow up and you realise that society is much bigger than the community you were brought up in. All of a sudden the people you were brought up to believe were bad, dangerous, lazy, criminal, deviant, stupid, ugly, etc. are everywhere. You can't escape them. They're taking your community's jobs, its women, its educational prospects, whatever. Now I think almost everyone at some level has to confront this situation. It's part of growing up. And you have to make a choice. You can say: well, a lot of what I was brought up to believe is ********, and people are just people, and they deserve respect regardless of what group they belong to. Or else you can say: the community I was brought up in is superior to everyone else, it is the American way (or Australian way or whatever), and I'm going to continue to act like that no matter how inconvenient and bitter it makes me.
The second choice doesn't make any sense. It just makes you unhappy. It's an attitude which is anti-social and spreads misery. But an awful lot of people choose it. They do so even while pretending not to. Why? Well, I think I know why in at least some cases people make this choice. But I'm not an expert. Any answer I give is just speculation. What I think is important is that people at least see that it is a choice they make, and think about why they make it.
That's all I'm really trying to say to you, in an effort to help you out. But a lot of people will have other opinions about the matter, and I encourage you to seek them out. I just hope you will give the situation some thought, because insisting that someone else is always to blame is never going to work out for you.
