Describe your loneliness

[9006]

Not sure how well this will do, but I thought I'd create a thread for all the lonely people here.

I thought it would be interesting to hear (and share) how you'd describe your loneliness, personally I've never been great at putting feelings into words like that, mostly because they can be complicated. But maybe if I've heard how people have described their own I could find ways to do this, and perhaps this could help other people to recognize theirs, too.

 

[daughter of the moon]

In short words: It's like drowning in a way, isn't it?

 

[Triple Bogey]

I just feel women haven't ever liked me in the past, don't like me now and won't like me the future !
I have no hope, no chance and all these false dawns seem to make things worse !

 

[Seeker]

I would describe my loneliness as selective/optional, I have friends but choose to be by myself most of the time. My friends are ok with that, since they are introverts as well, so we have somewhat of an unwritten mutual agreement on this, and never misunderstand each other for wanting time for ourselves.

As far as relationships go, sometimes I'm emotionally available and sometimes not, but generally I have had few yet long-lasting relationships. I prefer bonding only with girls I really like, even if I have to go on long-term dry spells in between, the wait is usually worth it.

 

[WallflowerGirl83]

I'm not sure how to describe my loneliness cause I feel different about it each day. Sometimes I feel happy when I'm alone and other times I feel suffocated as if I can't breathe or live cause of how sad I feel deeply inside. As for friendships go, I don't really get out much and nobody around my area has ever given me the chance. Sometimes I feel like it's not worth it on trying anymore cause I try so hard to put myself out there. Once I get slammed down for trying to express myself I kind of back off little by little. Haven't completely given up yet, but I don't try as hard as I used too. Now I'm sort of used to that feeling so much that it doesn't really affect me anymore. Wonder if that's a good thing or a bad thing...

 

[TheWalkingDead]

To echo WFG83, for me it takes on different qualities at different times. Sometimes I find solitude a real blessing, it gives me a real sense of freedom and I am happy. Nobody else to look after but myself, bringing about a feeling of peace, often joy. I find this most when I can get out into nature alone, by the sea, or in the mountains.

Then there are times like today, when it feels like I could disappear off the face of the earth forever and nobody would notice, let alone care and that seems really sad and leads to this gnawing sense of loss eating away at me.

It feels like emptiness, resignation, a sense of not being understood, seeing the intimacy I would like available for all and sundry, but always out of reach for me reasons that are hidden. It feels like being cheated. Like something's missing. Like I'm invisible. It's longing and yearning and it's like a kind of non-specific grief...

Thankfully I don't often feel it this bad, but today it's been worse than in a long time, probably not helped by the dark nights and cold weather.

 

[constant stranger]

I've gotten used to loneliness, loneliness is the norm for me. I'm so unaccustomed to social contact that it's become an unwelcome intrusion......hence I get very little pleasure out of it, hence I'm not too motivated to pursue something that's become a chore to just get through.

I'm OK with structured events like my public service volunteering and church activities, though.

Going out on dates, just asking someone out, trying to figure out what to do on a date, being perceptive enough to know if she even wants to go out again.......well that seems like an ordeal to me.
And that's to say nothing about pursuing an actual relationship......step 1 to step 2 to step 3 and on and on........

So I've gotten used to loneliness.

 

[ladyforsaken]

That feeling where you want someone so much.. but they don't in return. That's the most impactful feeling I could describe. Other times, I'm pretty cool being alone/lonely, it's been my best friend since I was a kid.

 

[Mr.YellowCat]

I feel like I´m out of a bubble that everyone else is in. I feel like I´m the silent observer of life around me, and I´m not a part of it.

 

[lonelyfairy]

It's an empty darkness which suffocates you slowly and painfully.

 

[Hopetracer]

Being lonely for me is like having a meaningless life. It's like living as sole soul on a distant planet which can sustain life. What would be the difference of me and a rock on that planet? Would my thoughts, ideas, emotions, skills, traits, hopes and dreams mean anything then? Why would I keep on living when there is no sharing, caring, loving or connection? Wouldn't my birth, life and death be forgotten forever? Even if I left a masterpiece behind and one day it somehow ended up in a human being's hands and the person loved it, what good it would make for me after I am gone?

Loneliness is like being on a möbius strip and fighting it is like running on it in the hope of breaking free from it.

Sometimes loneliness is like trying to reach the apples on a tree while they move away when you stretch your hand toward them.

It's sometimes like being in backstage when other actors and actresses perform together "Play of the life" in the theater. I may rarely get a chance to perform my short part in the play but before I go on stage the audience have already left the theater...

 

[edamame721]

For me feeling lonely is feeling disconnected from people. I might have people who hear me, but don't listen to me. My relationships with a previously very good friend and some family have become strained to the point where I couldn't give more than I was able to -- and that was met with anger and disparaging remarks. So, I don't trust anymore. I don't have anyone I feel comfortable calling just to shoot the breeze with anymore.

For me, feeling lonely is feeling like you don't truly matter to anyone.

 

[Peaches]

for me it's being invisible, slowly fading into thin air, a dry plant yearning for water, life running out
this constant pain in the chest, where the heart is supposed to be, but my physical heart is fine

it's more like a hole, going deep, with cold air getting in and warm pain flowing out

 

[a lonely person]

For me its like... boring

 

[Cucuboth]

There's too many ways to describe it really, but one way is ...

It's like a prison, that I can't escape from, no matter where I go or what I do. It's like being in solitary confinement in that prison, and it doesn't matter what I say, how much noise I make, nobody seems to really listen. And this prison, this solitary cell, is made of glass. A glass I can't break on my own, no matter how much force I use, yet I can see everything that is going on outside, I can see everyone else living their lives ... sharing and enjoying their lives ... while I just bang on the wall, screaming, hoping someone will one day notice.

And through it all, the same messages are shouted at me. That I am useless. That I am boring. That I am ugly. Nobody wants to know you. Nobody will touch you. So why should I deserve to be out there, amongst all the normal people.

 

[andyluvsfilms]

I've been a loner pretty much since my early teens, im now 41 but there have been periods ie a mostly happy marriage when i have found a person that i am happy to be around and vice versa, i think its only the last few years that i have come to terms with who i am and have tried to embrace the peace and solitude aspects of the situation.

Loneliness for me is a way of being accountable for my own mood, financial situation and plans, people can't take that away from me.

 

[Mike413]

I'll describe mine. I live with three people. Those three people are me, myself and I? Do you get it now?

 

[ardour]

Feeling ever apart from those around you. Ashamed for wanting what others aren't prepared to give. Shame over being needy.

Unlikeable, undesirable, a piece of ****.