Did (or do) your parents expect much from you?

[IgnoredOne]

I must at least match up with my father, or I feel like I've failed the honor and legacy of my family. I'm doing okay so far.

Its a lot to live up to(two Masters degrees, a long and distinguished career, plus a small business empire from scratch), but if he managed it, so can I. In fact, I intend to exceed him.

 

[Felix]

My parents have normal expectations... I think they want me to finish college, but I kinda don't want to... not sure yet...

 

[Nolife Princess]

Nope! my parents just didn't give a flip what I did as long as I wasn't bothering them, (my dad was better, he did show signs that he loved me) but my mother at this very moment is the care taker and hostess to the gates of hell.

 

[freedom]

my parents never really expected much from me. that's the way i feel, anyway. i feel like all they ever wanted was for me to be happy, whatever that might mean. start a family, start a business, start a movement. whatever makes me happy.

 

[lavenderashes]

To me, yes. But, it's hard for me to explain it in words.

They don't really understand why I'm interested in the things I'm interested in, and when I do try and explain it, they get on me for it (become really hard on me without realizing it, I think.) and treat me like I'm 12 and not 20 years old in college. It's really frustrating, to be honest and I feel like I fail as an individual in regards to dealing with "Real World" problems. I feel like, the only way they won't be so....disappointed in having a daughter whose obsessed with video games and collecting figures and Cosplaying, is being academically successful.

Technically, I've adopted the title as a "Middle Child", though I have 3 other siblings (one moved out, one has taken the 'mother role' and my little brother is spoiled rotten and lazy.)


(And this may not seem like my family may not be expecting much from me at all to anyone who reads this ;;

 

[Okiedokes]

I never really felt too much pressure. The only things I can think of were "college" and "hunting". Which I ended up doing neither, go figure. Those were from my dad, who I didn't see much of the time during high school years since I moved. My mom was never hard on me either, just the usual expectations that parents have... go to school... get good grades/try hard, don't do drugs, etc.

 

[WishingWell]

This is going to sound like I am blaming and have resentfulness toward my Dad, but it's not true.

When I was a young child, my Dad used to say when I brought a test paper home, 98%? What? Why didn't you get 100%? I took it to heart and have to ask, does anyone think it is normal for a 4th grader to get up at 4 a.m. to study for tests from then on? It certainly did affect me! I look back and know he was joking now, but, as a child, I took him seriously. It certainly continued to affect me subconciously too. It turned me into a perfectionist that's expectations of myself are ridiculously high! When I graduated High School, I came in 5th out of 515 students, but by studying and memorizing my text books--I was not naturally smart. I also got 4 promotions in 7 years in the last job I was able to work. (I'm think many of you know I am disabled now due to mental illness--OCD is my biggest problem--I wonder if deep down that stems a little from that.) The stress continues to this day. Although I need rest, I think I always should be doing something--anything to make myself feel worthwhile.

But, I loved my Dad so very much, and admired him, also. He worked 3 jobs to provide for his 3 kids and my Mom, and to allow her to stay home to raise us. He, also, made sure we had vacations, weekends at the Jersey Shore, the things kids wanted to play with--the things he never had. He had to quit school in his senior year of high school to provide for his family since his Dad and one Brother was disabled and his other Brother was drafted into the army. At least with him working, my Grandmother could put food on the table. They were so poor.

 

[LoneKiller]

Good Thread. All my parents ever expected me to do was to do my best at everything I do.

 

[meekthoughts]

It's complicated really. My parents expect me to go to university, do relatively well, get a good job, marry and have kids. That's what they tell me at least. But of course I hear little "hints" now and then that say otherwise. It could all be in my head, but what's most important is that I believe it's true.

I've always done really well in school on my own initiative. I graduated as the top student (tied with another student that was my close friend) in high school and go to a really good university for my area of study, but I worked my butt off for it. I don't think I'm naturally smart at all. Because of my grades, my parents expect me to be this really intelligent person and I can't convince them otherwise. Now I'm stuck with the expectation of going to medical school just because I show interest in human biology and mentioned it as a possibility once to them.

I love my parents to death, and to be fair, they tell me that it's my life and my own decision. But my own brain is so stuck worrying about what I think my parents want that I feel so much expectation being weighed down on me. I can't keep up with it at all.

Sorry, this turned out to be a rant.

 

[Lawrens]

They expected me to do things that I didn't want to do, and they didn't expect me to be any good at things I wanted to do. Now they don't expect anything from me.