Did your parents "baby" you as a kid?

[Chair]

I think some people become reclusive as a result of being "babied" as kids/teenagers.

I was "babied" as a kid. If I wasn't, I perhaps wouldn't be living the life as a shut-in today.

When I was young, my mom wouldn't let me or my siblings do anything. We were always told "don't do this" and "don't do that" when it came to everything. As a result, we became frightened to do things, thinking we'd mess up, so we didn't attempt to do things at all. We weren't taught how to do much, and as a result, had low confidence.

My sister firmly believes that me and my brother are shut-ins due to the way my mom raised us. She thinks that she would have been the same way had she not left home at such a young age. Sadly, I think she may be right. I envy my sister - I wish I would have had the courage to leave home at sixteen years old, it could have "saved" me.

I get angry at times when I think about how my mom raised us. I feel that I missed a lot as a kid, and I'm very certain that the way she raised us had a profound impact on all of us. The anxiety and fear I experience today could be partially due to being scarred as a kid.

I can't stand my mom. I don't hate her, but I can't stand her at all. I won't say that she's an awful person - perhaps she doesn't realize that she raised us improperly. I just really wish that she would have let us experience things. Me and my siblings were very frightened as kids due to not being allowed to do anything kids are supposed to do. She certainly wasn't fit to have kids, that's for sure.

If you have something to share, please do so.

 

[Badjedidude]

We were always told "don't do this" and "don't do that" when it came to everything. As a result, we became frightened to do things, thinking we'd mess up, so we didn't attempt to do things at all. We weren't taught how to do much, and as a result, had low confidence.

Lol my parents did this to me to some extent, but it just made me want to do those things even more. XD So I did. What a proper little rebel I was.

----Steve

 

[Brian]

My dad remarried when I was 13 to a woman with three kids of her own; she home schooled all of them as well as myself, for a time, and she is INCREDIBLY overprotective. They live on a dead end rural road with good neighbors and she's hesitant to even let her kids take a walk. She's sheltered them all so much that my step brother, an otherwise very intelligent guy, has social skills of such a poor level that I wonder if he isn't partially autistic. He won't listen to criticism on the matter either. I had to listen to him answer the phone earlier and he overdid everything. It was a prospective employer, to boot.

 

[h i]

i was brought up that everyone was a sinner and would be going to hell... so i only hung out with the religious kids. my mother didnt really care, it was the church... so id often play with snakes, climb trees, and often wander endlessly through woods and other peoples yards around the age of 8 or 9 alone. ive walked train tracks to distant towns, crawled in creeks, and explored woods. I told my mother shes lucky i never got poisoned, attacked, or kidnapped, and shes like, you didnt so no worries. when it came to school and people, i didnt take much interest. people liked me cause i was healthy, and being a guy, health and muscles, is like attractive i guess, so i made friends. i remember going to my girl friends house after school and not leaving until 4:30 in the morning and walking home, cause my mother didnt care. school sucked though. i often just walked out or ditched. i failed...

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Nope, I'm special

Abandent....

I used to hop on a bus into the city at the age of 6 and went looking for one of my parents.
Kind of had to learnd how to take care of myself or be street smart at a very young age.
Nope it wasn't a sheltered life. Saw a lot of crazy **** people do in the streets of Bankog.

I lived in the slums for a couple years of my life.
You know what's wierd or a trip about that?
People leave their front doors open...I remember wandering into people's house as a child and they
would welcome me or feed me. I guess some Thai people can be very, very nice.
Maybe people were so poor...there wasn't much of anything to fucken steal.
And who in the **** would want to kindnap a fucken kid from the slums?
he's parents evidently didn't have money or gave a rats ass oneway or the other
Life was fucken hard. I guess sometimes that gets people to have more compassion for each other.

I live in the USA, now. I don't even know who most of my nieghbors are.

 

[VanillaCreme]

I was, but by my own doing. Me and my brother were very spoiled. Grew up along side my cousin, whose mom - my aunt and my mom's sister - was more strict with him past a certain age. She too babied my cousin for years. Between the three of us, we had everything ever. Every video game console made; every game made to go with them. We went on every vacation, every field trip, every other weekend to the shore. We were very spoiled, and hardly ever told no to anything. The things we didn't get from our moms, we got from our grandmother.

 

[cheaptrickfan]

My parents were incredibly strict. I was not allowed to date or go to non-Church related parties, they gave me extra schoolwork to do over vacation time, I was not allowed to take Driver's Ed in school because that was a time slot that could be reserved for something useful, like Calculus. And so on.

Rather than make me fearful, it pissed me the **** off, but that is my temperament. However, I could see where the power lay in the family, so I bided my time until I left the house, and then like a spit-wad from an improvised slingshot, I exploded outward. All that pent-up, unexpressed rebellion got, well... fully expressed at college. I think that if my parents had been the teensiest bit more willing to give on even one aspect of my life, I might not have had such a disastrous few years of it immediately out of my parents' house. However, ultimately, I made those decisions, I was responsible for my actions. I am very fortunate that I got hold of myself and did not self-destruct.

Now that I am a parent of equally willful daughters, I can appreciate a lot of what my parents tried to do, but I hope not to repeat their mistakes. I am strict, yes, but I try to be fair. I know that teens chafe under a really oppressive house, and even though everything really is done for their own good, all they can feel is rage at their will being thwarted.

So yeah, it's a tricky thing to navigate. Parents do have a great deal of influence over their kids, but equally strong is each child's personality and will.

I see from your posts that you are inclined to put the blame for your predicament on your parents. You may be quite right in saying that the way your mom treated you contributed significantly to where you are now in life. But, I say this sincerely, you can still break free from those habits, no matter how ingrained. It is uncomfortable, yes, and only will become more so the longer you are in them. If you really desire a change, you have to do something. Start small.

I would start perhaps getting a handle on the anxiety and fear. Therapy may be tossed around as a catch-all and although it is no wonder cure, it can begin the process. (((Chair)))

 

[kelbo]

My parents were alcoholics who used to either be out drinking, at home drunkenly fighting, or at work.
They left us to fend for ourselves, with the occasional burnt meal thrown in every so often.

My dad was then accused of rape and indecent assault and my mum pretty much abandoned me.

So I'm pretty independent, can socialise with people from all walks of life - and there isn't much I'm scared of really.
I feel lonely most of the time, because I always have been - and don't have a foundation or family background like so many people have and take for granted.

I wish my parents cared enough about me to keep me out of harms way, but unfortunately they didn't and here I am.

 

[shells]

I was a mommy's girl.
She was a good mom, and did her best to raise me.

My "father"? I wish he had died and not her.

 

[Minus]

Babying is probably the last thing that my parents could be accused of doing for me. I did develop severe social anxiety. At time i would blame them because that is where i developed and of course there are lots of things that went on in the family that i could point to. At times i also would wonder what things would have been like if my biological father hadn't died while i was so young. Mostly i just figure that i will never really know the 'why' and i guess that is okay because it makes no difference in what i do about it now.

 

[Zak]

Chair.. I have the same experience as you do. My mom and dad controlling my life, making me do what they wanted me to. Its all became so ****** up. I will have a loads to add if I start talking about it. meh..

 

[AFrozenSoul]

Nope the failure of the family can fend for himself.