Do any of you life a life totally alone without ANY friends or family?

[Finished]

Instagram was much the same. Any pictures I was proud of, or anything person, utterly ignored. Post a picture of my cute dog, and suddenly numerous comments and likes from.around the world.

Ha! ha! Now I have all kinds of friends!!!! Woohoo!!!!

 

[The Wanderer]

I live alone. My Dad visits occasionally.
I know two people online but we don't talk much. One is working toward a medical degree in the US, the other is raising a kid in the EU. They're busy, I'm busy.
I was in a relationship. When we weren't seeing each other I would talk to them on the phone. About them, them or them. Alot. Such fun.
I'm lonely but I was lonely and suffocated, I'll take what I have. One more year of desperate studying and I can work on attaining some sort of social normalcy. Then maybe some friends I see in real life, maybe even a healthy relationship with someone who actually sees me as a person.
Depends what theres time and inclination for. Tell you one thing; never using Tinder again.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

I wish I could live like that but sadly I have to earn a living. But if I could ship off to isolation I would do so in a heartbeat

 

[Expelliarmus]

Learn to be happy with who you are, what you have, and wherever you are in the moment you live in. Look at the positive side in everything you have, for God's blessings are countless
Waiting for happiness from the outside is the biggest plan to be miserable for the rest of your life

 

[Expelliarmus]

If you can't enjoy the company of yourself, you don't really enjoy the company of others
Always remember that happiness comes from giving, and if you must give, start giving to yourself. In the end, only a heart full of contentment and happiness can give it
Take the time to connect with yourself and understand exactly what you want. You will be happy the moment you realize that you can live without having to prove yourself to others
Sadness cannot be separated from life. Trying to get rid of it completely is like inhaling without exhaling! And the more you tried to resist it, the more intense it became. The only escape from sadness is to accept and embrace it... We live in a world full of emotions and there is no escaping from bad and sad situations. Every time you face a difficult situation that makes you sad, stop for a moment and think about your feelings, then accept them as they are, and express your sadness in the way that suits you, turn your sadness into a driving force forward. You can cry or get angry, but you can also express your sadness by playing, drawing, writing, singing, etc...Turn your sadness into energy, into something beautiful for others to see. From the heart of pain springs creativity! And every time you fail, try to think of solutions and ways to fix what you screwed up instead of focusing on the result you got and lamenting the luck that got you to this point.
When life hardens you, and deals you painful blows, always remember that you have two options: either you give up or you have the courage and stand up again. And no matter how it seems to you that there is no solution in front of you, the truth is that you always have a choice. So make sure to make the right decisions and choose the way that brings you closer to your goals
Always focus on getting better, improving and learning. When you fail or experience a painful situation, choose to learn wisdom from it rather than choosing to give up and live with failure for the rest of your life. Make your permanent choice to improve yourself as much as possible, this choice will lead you to higher ranks in life.
Happy people realize that negativity will hinder them from moving forward in their lives, and prevent their growth and development. So getting rid of negative thoughts and feelings should be a top priority every day. Reflect on your surroundings and the people around you, and if you find anything or someone that makes you feel frustrated or anything negative, never hesitate to remove it from your life. Never compromise or compromise when it comes to negative thoughts, they are the source of all your suffering and problems. Have you not heard the saying: “Life is 10% of what happens to us and 90% of our behavior towards it” - Charles R. Swindoll.
If you ask people how they would like to be treated, you will definitely not find anyone who will say they want to be treated badly! However, phrases such as: “Treat others as you would like to be treated” or “Treat them as they would like to be treated”... such sentences may be meaningless. Because it focuses on others. It makes you and your feelings become involved in the actions of others and preoccupies you with activities and obligations to the outside world that do you no good. True happiness will fill your life when you focus on yourself and spend your time improving it. Keep your focus on yourself only, understand, improve and develop yourself, and only then will you be able to treat others
Other people's opinions (whether they are against you or for you) cannot affect you unless you allow them to. So always make sure to remove the outside noises that hinder your happiness. Feel free to take a moment and listen to your deep inner voice. Take some time to be alone with you and your thoughts, and to reflect on nature and the beauty of life around you. Then you will realize the meaning of true happiness and you will return to your normal life with positive feelings that will help you to face any situations or obstacles that come your way.
In the end, it must be emphasized again that life is not without difficulties and sorrows, and without them we cannot learn or develop. We will never be able to appreciate the value of happiness unless we experience sadness

 

[constant stranger]

I'm alone and friendless too with no family. I'm not afraid of death because I believe the journey my consciousness has been embarked on will continue after my body dies. While I'm still in this life I try as much as is possible to do no harm to other living things or myself......and I try to be helpful. I visit with patients at the local hospital....it isn't much in the big scheme of things but it's become part of how I define myself, probably because volunteering with the chaplain department is the only meaningful function in my life. Besides keeping physically healthy as I age.

 

[Beth Griggs]

Only just seen these replies - I'm sorry. And thanks Beth for your long reply. Is everyone still the same? Where do you all live? I'm Northamptonshire, UK.

Yes for me it is still the same. As I suspected if I came across anyone else it was more of the same, where I was better off saying no. A few months go a guy I used to know about 30 years ago phoned me. We had not spoken or been in touch for 30 years! In those days we got together for chats and coffee and that was it. Now he asked if he could speak to me on phone regularly - he has cancer, has no friends, is nearly 80 now. Lives a long way away We have nothing in common. Ok I said. Because at least it would make a change to chat to someone who is not a client sometimes. A week later he phones me for a chat and starts to go on about how much he fancies me and talking about sex. Goodbye.

 

[Beth Griggs]

I wish I could live like that but sadly I have to earn a living. But if I could ship off to isolation I would do so in a heartbeat

My best friend died a few months ago, this gorgeous little dog Strawberry - but I knew I needed another best friend and got little Pickle

 

[ardour]

If you can't enjoy the company of yourself, you don't really enjoy the company of others

That doesn't and shouldn't imply that happiness without friends or close relationships is the desirable goal. I realize I'm not saying anything original here, but we are social creatures that evolved in small groups. Our self-image is undeniably influenced by how others perceive us. It's how we're calibrated for survival and procreation. Because these bonds were so important for millennia, it's also how we judge others (often unfairly).

Millions of years of adaptation to environment won't disappear because someone tells the lonely person to "love themselves before they can truly love others" and to be happy in their own company, particularly if it's coming from those who don't need to implement said advice. (Not sure if that's how you intended it to sound.)

 

[HappyLoner]

Hi all. I've not been on here in years and forgot I was a member. So, once again I've just finished a riveting book, which is my way of escaping the problems of life, so today I've been bordering on a panic attack. When my situation hits me, my stomach churns and I have this awful empty disconnected feeling which makes me wonder why I should continue living. I don't know ANYONE that lives their life alone. No workmates, no friends, no family. Even worse, I don't know anyone who's like me and doesn't get anything out of general chit chat. I find socializing petrifying and no way can I let anyone get to know me.

In a nutshell, is there anyone else here who is anything like me?

Yepp, same here except I don't consider it negative. I'm quite happy as it is as i have the freedom doing whatever i feel like, no obligations to anyone. I see my situation as filled with undisturbed possibilities.

And not really sure why Iam on this forum.

 

[Minus]

And not really sure why Iam on this forum.

I don't think that you have to be troubled to be here.

 

[HappyLoner]

I don't think that you have to be troubled to be here.

Thank you. I read loads of posts here from people feeling miserable in their loneliness so I feel slightly dishonest not being miserable. Perhaps I might help out with another view on this and validate my presence here.

 

[whitepeony]

I am totally alone too. I already wrote about this. I still have my mother, but she is not a good companion, but nonetheless... I have no other connections with other relatives and no friends at all. I am 51, soon I will be old... There are no places I can go to, none. I wished I had at least 2-3 people to be with, not necessarily to talk with. I feel horrible, I pity myself, but I did whatever I could, including going to the church mass. I am not their kind. I need to listen to someone, I don't need too much to speak about myself. I tried to offer my help to others, I talked to the priest and it was in vain. I was a student for 23 years of my life, but it was always like being in a more or less crowded bus/airplane/ trolleybus, etc. I am effectively isolated since I was 13. I had only 5 relationships my whole life - I mean people whom I talked to, who were closer acquaintances, but that was long ago. Now ... only solitude. În the rest of my life there were only a few accidental, casual, distant relationships, with supermarket cashiers, medics or nurses, hairdressers, meditators, etc. I cannot offer comfort to others regarding solitude, but I think that it helps to be on the street, walking in a park, etc. It helps to read, write, knit, cook, exercise, and so on. The trouble is that being totally alone is very painful after the threshold of 30 years or so... because of hoping in vain. The need to be with others is normal, it is psychological, not physical.
I will copy here something that I wrote today on another thread:

I think that if we are dropouts or we are being hurt, we are still valuable. At least unconsciously we are contributing to the overall welfare of the world because everything is connected through our psyches, including us, the misfits or the rejected ones. Nonetheless, we can enjoy life as it is and, if we are bullied, we are allowed to feel or act superior to them, but this is only a temporary solution. A question we can meditate upon is: What if I were in a remote place, in a small village or hamlet, where, besides low commodities and less comfort, we can find but fewer than, let's say, 10-20 people. Without family, living on our own. As if we were in a Wuthering Heights scenery. Then we would be obliged, forced to fully appreciate and cherish all the others, who are at least humans, even if bad people. We would have to construe our own world, our universe, from scratch, just think about this! So, what we create or destroy through thoughts and feelings is our choice and our responsibility.

But maybe the above lines apply only to those who have 2-5 significant others in their lives. Those who have them are maybe luckier, but they don't realize this, because they focus on the unpleasant side of their relationships.

 

[user 136944]

Absolutely no friends at all and haven't had for years. I have five grown up children, four of which I get along with fine, although we are not close like how you see other families, only seeing/talking with each other once every five/six week I would say. The one child has decided to not bother with me at all because I 'embarassed him' by calling him out on his behaviour when he was drinking. I do have interaction with people on a daily basis through my work, so thats good I suppose. Some days I really struggle with the loneliness and even more so the empitness in my life, then other days I cope absolutely fine and it doesn't bother me. I'm a 48 yr old male, divorced and living alone, can't see me ever having a relationship again, which sometimes bothers me, but generally... not too bothered about that. Still desperately trying to find some meaning or purpose in life, I'm just a middle aged lost soul I guess.

 

[Finished]

Absolutely no friends at all and haven't had for years. I have five grown up children, four of which I get along with fine, although we are not close like how you see other families, only seeing/talking with each other once every five/six week I would say. The one child has decided to not bother with me at all because I 'embarassed him' by calling him out on his behaviour when he was drinking. I do have interaction with people on a daily basis through my work, so thats good I suppose. Some days I really struggle with the loneliness and even more so the empitness in my life, then other days I cope absolutely fine and it doesn't bother me. I'm a 48 yr old male, divorced and living alone, can't see me ever having a relationship again, which sometimes bothers me, but generally... not too bothered about that. Still desperately trying to find some meaning or purpose in life, I'm just a middle aged lost soul I guess.

With the numbers growing. On the last block where I lived half of the homes were filled with single old men who didn't want anything to do with anybody else.

 

[user 136944]

With the numbers growing. On the last block where I lived half of the homes were filled with single old men who didn't want anything to do with anybody else.

Absolutely, I totally agree, seems to be a growing issue all around the world seemingly.

 

[Zhanna]

48 I could be dead for months, nobody would notice, or at least not until they needed something. When they need something, the whole neighbourhood is my friend. When I need something, there is nobody.

I have my daughter, who'll be 15 later this year. She autistic, currently in care, and has not uttered a word to me since June 2020. Throughout her teenage years, it became increasingly sporadic.

My mum lives across the park from me. Our relationship largely revolves around her dependency on me. Although, whilst she entertains or holidays, which is pretty substantially, I am pretty much ignored.

I have two friends who visit, an alcoholic and the other also autistic, I used to teach him 19 years ago. Both come her for their needs, not mine.

There is another distant friend. Good company, loyal. However, the onus is upon me to travel there, and typically fix things whilst there.

And then there is my dog, she keeps me sane. Although I say this guiltily, she is nothing like my previous dog, who I still pine for.

This my current association with people is based entirely upon what I can provide for others. I don't know how it became this way. I started to notice it a couple of years ago, and cut out a lot of people. And now, I don't know what my next move is, or whether I have the energy for another move. I could be surrounded by people by the afternoon, is I just switch on my smile, and started solving problems for them. But, I'm done with that!

Hi
I’m new here, actually registered a while ago but forgot completely about it until this week. I’m in the same boat regarding transactional friendships. I’d just finished editing a scholarly paper for a colleague, we get on well at work but she only asked me to help her not because we’re friends, but because she knew my experience with writing academic papers. Then 2 weeks ago it dawned on me that a good friend of over 20 years had ghosted me after meeting a guy. This was a friend whom I’d helped in the past through her own life challenges and had provided professional references. The shock of it was what propelled me to try to actively make more friends.

So I totally understand taking transactional friendships as what they are, while wishing that people be more genuine.

 

[LonelyUser]

No friends here.
I an living with my mom and taking care of her. She is my only family left, she is 86 years old and paralyzed from the waist down.

 

[Mr Doubtfire]

I see my uncle every now and again, but I fell out with my dad many years ago and my mum died in 2003 not that I ever really saw her anyway.
I had a lot of friends from when I moved into my first flat in 1982 but when I moved from the area in 1994 things changed a bit and I lost touch with a lot of them.A further move in 2011 really put a further kybosh on friendships.
The last ten years have been real crap anyway, but my most favourite times were probably 1970 till 2010.

 

[lotsarocks]

Hello Kris.

I only have my grandparents. I don't have anyone else to talk to socially. Some days I am alright on my own, I am self sufficient and independent. But at times, I am very lonely. I am 31 and don't know anyone, and once my grandparents pass away, I will truly be alone, so it's uncomfortable to think about. It makes me feel disconnected too, I don't understand what my purpose here is. I wish I had some good advice, but I don't know what to do with these feelings either.