I swear that lack of confidence is a chemical inbalance. I have depression and I just don't shine or have a good vibe when I'm out and about anywhere. I wanna attract a nice girl but girls are attracted to confidence and I seemingly wasn't blessed with much, which is weird, coz when women get to know me I have confidence if that makes any sense. Last year a woman said I was charming and charismatic, but that was after getting to know me when we were alone in her flat and I was being daft. In public however I'm shy and retiring, and if I'm in a bar and I see a girl, I always take the backseat so to speak and a more confident guy swoops in and steals my thunder. Anyway, I wasn't praised a hell of a lot as a kid, but wasn't unloved and wasn't underpraised. God knows, perhaps it's my anxiety and depression but I sure am miserable being this way. I just want that Robbie Williams type flare with women, what's the answer?
Does anyone think lack of confidence is a chemical inbalance
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Naleena
Well-known member
It sounds like you have it..it's just not coming out all the time. What do you tell yourself when your in a bar or any other place? How is it different when you get to know them verses just meeting them? What thoughts about yourself are in your head that prevent you from showing your true self? Here you are hiding such a good personality. Such a loss for those who don't know the real you. No, I do not see it as a chemical imbalance. I see it as unwarrented fear. If you can make women laugh when you get comfortable around them..then you can make them laugh. That's the hard part..the talent. You got it. You just need to shine, baby. Let's see some of that Robbin Williams on this forumSimonT said:
We could all use some silliness and laughs around here.
R
Rosebolt
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The answer is to stop blaming it on some sort of chemical inbalance and start looking at what you can fix.
C
Cavey
Guest
The problem with blaming chemical imbalances is that everything we think and feel is to do with certain chemical reactions in our brain/body.
I do believe that my depression, OCD and social anxiety disorder are ALL due to chemical imbalances, but they've been there for most of my life and they're a part of who I am. Who's to say that if those chemicals were altered that I wouldn't lose the good things about my personality too? Sure, I'd love to be carefree, but if it happens, it's likely to be because I made the effort in spite of these imbalances.
I do believe that my depression, OCD and social anxiety disorder are ALL due to chemical imbalances, but they've been there for most of my life and they're a part of who I am. Who's to say that if those chemicals were altered that I wouldn't lose the good things about my personality too? Sure, I'd love to be carefree, but if it happens, it's likely to be because I made the effort in spite of these imbalances.
bulmabriefs144
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No. I think this is a reversed paradigm.
"I'm bipolar because I'm chemically imbalanced, I'm depressed due to a chemical balance, or I'm a dangerous psycho because of chemical imbalance."
Wrong.
You get the nutrients you need from food. But forming them into chemicals doesn't cause psychological disorder.
When you are happy, your brain releases endorphins. When you calm down or whatever, your brain releases serotonin. These are made by the brain to help you deal with emotions. I don't think you can write off psychological disorders, because the originator is you. This is not to say taking high doses of chemicals won't alter your mood, but your brain is what produced them.
Why do I think this? Because I've often just thought and thought about stuff, and suddenly I was in a weird mood. It was nothing I ate, I put myself into that mood. So, changing things like confidence in turn changes your chemical balance, not the other way around (though the other way around works, because it takes those chemicals, but chemical addiction often happens if these chemicals are imperfect and "look" like the originals (see here) without being a perfect match that the receptors can take, or even by being ones that it didn't make itself). So, yea, you can cheer up by taking happy pills, but it's far better in the long run to figure out the source of the problem, i.e. what is making you lack confidence?
"I'm bipolar because I'm chemically imbalanced, I'm depressed due to a chemical balance, or I'm a dangerous psycho because of chemical imbalance."
Wrong.
You get the nutrients you need from food. But forming them into chemicals doesn't cause psychological disorder.
When you are happy, your brain releases endorphins. When you calm down or whatever, your brain releases serotonin. These are made by the brain to help you deal with emotions. I don't think you can write off psychological disorders, because the originator is you. This is not to say taking high doses of chemicals won't alter your mood, but your brain is what produced them.
Why do I think this? Because I've often just thought and thought about stuff, and suddenly I was in a weird mood. It was nothing I ate, I put myself into that mood. So, changing things like confidence in turn changes your chemical balance, not the other way around (though the other way around works, because it takes those chemicals, but chemical addiction often happens if these chemicals are imperfect and "look" like the originals (see here) without being a perfect match that the receptors can take, or even by being ones that it didn't make itself). So, yea, you can cheer up by taking happy pills, but it's far better in the long run to figure out the source of the problem, i.e. what is making you lack confidence?
P
perfanoff
Guest
Confidence is not just an emotion/something inside the brain. People usually refer to it as making the right decisions, and behaving a certain way socially, making people feel at ease etc. So no, it's not "just" a chemical imbalance.
Naleena
Well-known member
Bump
TheSkaFish
Jedi Guardian
I think confidence comes from knowing you have strong traits in some area, knowing you're good at something, knowing that you know how something works, knowing that you know what you're talking about, knowing that you know what to think, say, and do, and from a history of past successful results.
I don't think it's a chemical imbalance, I think it comes from feedback. So it makes sense then, that it's hard to have confidence when you haven't had a lot of positive feedback from life.
I don't think it's a chemical imbalance, I think it comes from feedback. So it makes sense then, that it's hard to have confidence when you haven't had a lot of positive feedback from life.
Confidence comes from positive responses from others or successes. I believe it's really that simple. I am not confident in personal interactions because most have been negative. But, I am confident in my abilities because I'm good at most of the things I do.
user 135067
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My dad always told me I was worthless. My siblings picked up on it and did much the same. You can get confidence from successes, but without support it takes a lot of successes.
You get confidence from the people that believe in you.
You get confidence from the people that believe in you.
Ima Lone
Well-known member
ardour
Well known loser
There aren't enough mallets.
"Every jerk I ever met was self-confident"
- Ray Romano
- Ray Romano
Night89
Active member
The fact that we are dealing with the brain and al the connections that are communicating is a confirmation of your claim. My experience is that meds and peorsonal work was what worked for me atleast. But this is my opinion. I guess this can be confirmed if you invistigates a group of people in a MR scanner you could see a difference in how the brain works between the subjects.
This can be changed. Mainly its by personal work, meds can help but you need to make the change yourself in regards to way of ones confidence or what you. Personal work is something that is essential in having persistant confidence, you need to make the change yourself if it makes sence, meds can help but it does not give you confidence by automatic, its something you need to work on mental level.
Hope it made sence.
This can be changed. Mainly its by personal work, meds can help but you need to make the change yourself in regards to way of ones confidence or what you. Personal work is something that is essential in having persistant confidence, you need to make the change yourself if it makes sence, meds can help but it does not give you confidence by automatic, its something you need to work on mental level.
Hope it made sence.
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