Even more lonely than I used to be

[Azwer]

First off, hello everyone, I've been lurking the forums for a while now and
I finally decided to post my story. Before telling you why am I so lonely now,
I'd like to tell you a little about my past.
When I was in 6-7th grade, I was bullied constantly, so much that I couldn't even concentrate when I was at school.
I also got addicted to video games. My grades dropped from A+ to C and even worse sometimes. Around 8th grade, I got a few friends and
started smoking, skipping class and so on... At the end of 8th grade, I moved to another city. Here, my grades picked up, I actually got a decent friend who dragged me out to meet other people, even though I was extremely socially anxiuos(I still am now) and unable to speak to people that I didn't know well without randomly forgetting words or without making long awkward silences. It was no secret that his friends considered me a loser. However, I was quite happy with having atleast one friend and going out sometimes.
So, a few months ago me and my parents moved to a different country.
I don't know the language, and I won't be going to school again before I learn it. Pretty much all I do now is sit at home and play video games. I live in the countryside and there are no neighbors to talk to. I tried talking to a few girls in the city nearby, but I was rejected immediatilly because of my looks and because I couldn't speak their language. I have no idea where to go to meet people that would accept me.
Speaking of girls, I've had 3 girlfriends in my life and every single one
cheated on me, and since then I've been afraid of commitments and dating in general.

I know this has been a wall of text, and I'm sorry about my english, I am not a native speaker.

 

[Tiina63]

I can sympathise with how you are feeling as I too have social anxiety in a lot of situations and have to often push myself to go out and be with people socially. Maybe you could take small steps towards mixing a bit with others. Is there a language course you could take at a college so that you will both be meeting other people who are also immigrants and who may well be lonely and looking for friends themselves, and you'll also be learning the language as quickly as possible?