Ex-Relationship Keepsakes

[shells]

*Edited*

 

[Bluey]

Honestly I think that is so sweet. I still have an album of me and my first GF on holiday when we was just 17.
I am 35 now so there is no way I have feelings for her now. I was the one that broke the relationship up as well. But when I look at that album I remember the fun times and how sweet where where together. its apart of your past. I also would had never had told a new GF about that. So maybe your new BF dose have some little keep sacks himself but like you doesn't say. There are some things you don't tell you know. Little innocent things like this If you burn that you well get older and regret it I think. it well be something that maybe you well share with your own daughter one day.

 

[VanillaCreme]

I wouldn't feel guilty for having it. I probably would have tossed it if I had gotten anything from my ex. Seeing how I never got anything, I never had this issue. Sweet idea of him though. That was a nice thing to do.

 

[Venetia]

You seem to be saying that you feel guilty for keeping it, but that you would feel guilty about throwing it away. If it has happy memories for you, I think it would be nice to keep it.

 

[Minus]

I am sure that i still have a number of objects from past relationships. That doesn't mean that "objects own me" or that these objects keep me stuck in the past.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I still have a lot of baggages from ex-relationship.
I'm trying to move forward as much as I can...but my brian still have memories..(alot of memories)
with emotions attached to those thoughts. Which makes it bascailly imposiable to completely forget
about my past.

My thoughts drives my emotions. Bascailly if I play thoughts in my mind over and over
again, it'll re-enforce thoughts and emotions.

I try not to dwell on it..but then again all of the memories weren't bad.
Other times those thoughts will just run across my mind or pop in to head.
At this junctor, I have a chioce weather to run with those thoughts and feelings.
It bascailly one way of letting go. I don't judge the thoughts, I just observe how
react or not react to my thoughts. I simply just accept I have thoughts running
across my mind. Then it just passes through me without alot of emotional triggers.

Other times I just embrace it....not fight it (what I persist presist)
I drive directly into my thoughts and emotions ...run with it.
Not controlling myself...bascailly another form of letting.
Wherever it might lead me, whatever emotions it might rettriger.
Bascailly I'll process my thoughts and emotions.
Bascailly my mind adjust...then when I have thoughts of my ex-wf for example.
I basically don't over react after processing my emotions..bascailly I became de-sensertize.

Another way for me to not living the past is to living the moment.
I live in the moments. When live in the moment, I generally don't feel any pains
Simply...my past is in my head. Whatever my brain retrieves or bring up will drive
my emotions.

Another way I belive or deal with it..is simply accept that I love her.
I love her very much. I'm grateful she was a part of my life...whatever
love, hate and lessons we learned. I want her to be happy as she wants me to be happy.
I bascailly want what is best for her and her highest goods....whatever that may be.
I might not like the chioces that she will make..but ultimately I love her unconditionally
without attachments or strings. I know as a human to human we both love each other very much,
so it's all good. And I just leave it at that and not try to figure it out anymore.

 

[nerdygirl]

I have an ex box. I do not keep EVERYTHING, but I keep a lot. People know about it. If somebody told me I HAD to get rid of it, I'd be mad. I understand why you'd feel kind of guilty, but really... until you actually feel comfortable letting it go, I say... don't.

 

[SophiaGrace]

I think it was a kind thing someone did for you, and every time you look at it...it is a symbol of that kindness and caring a person had for you. I'd say keep it

 

[Badjedidude]

There's nothing wrong with keeping some mementos of your past experiences. It's not like that wooden chest turns you on when you look at it, shells... (hopefully not ). And it's not like that wooden chest drives you to seek after that old flame.

It's just a THING. Sure, it helps trigger memories, but those memories are in your head anyway. If you're going to seek out every item from past relationships and get rid of them, then you might as well get a frontal lobotomy while you're at it, because those memories are still there, with or without the items.

Personally, I've kept things from past relationships. Pictures, cards, little gifts, etc.

And I wouldn't FLAUNT those things in front of a new girlfriend, but I wouldn't get rid of them for her either. I would expect her to understand that my history is my own, and I have memories from before. It's sort of immature to pretend that there's "never been another" or whatever....because we all have histories and memories.

I guess this is all a long-winded way of saying not to worry about it.

So don't.

 

[Brian]

The one girl I ever felt like I connected with was a distance relationship.

She sent me this hand-made card with a hand-written letter for Valentine's Day, along with a couple of drawings she drew. That was, and is, the sweetest thing someone else has ever done for me aside from family. It was very touching.

And I still have it all packed away with my stuff in storage. If I close my eyes, it still smells the same as when I first opened the package 5 or 6 years back.

 

[Broken_Doll]

I have many keepsakes/mementos from past relationships and good times. I got rid of all of the keepsakes/mementos from past relationships and times that made me feel down because I wanted to let go of the past.

I have many things from my most recent past relationship, I can't make up my mind as to wether or not to get rid of these things, I can't bear looking at them and at the same time I can't bear to throw them away...

 

[An archist]

This is nothing to feel guilty about. Here, I'll put things in perspective for you: I still have a pair of my last girlfriends underwear she left at my house--5 or 6 years ago. It's not like I take them out and sniff them or anything. They're in a drawer somewhere, but I don't really feel like a creep for keeping them, which means you have no reason to feel strange about your box. If I had a current girlfriend and she found them...hmmm, that might be difficult to explain. But in your case, I don't think you're boyfriend will get very curious about a box and probably wouldn't be bothered even if you told him the truth.

 

[Nina]

I have pretty near everything, anyone has ever made me, because they put their time, effort and feelings for me into them. I have, right here in front of me now a framed poem and a carved wooden puppy both made for me by my very first love from high school. We are still best friends by the way. My hubs of nearly 20 years has no idea who gave me either or even that my best friend was my first lover. I totally agree with Bjd in this...MY history, complete with thoughts and memories are my own. My hubs owns my heart and all my loyality, but he doesn't hold the same moments or memories as I and so I never put him in a position of being threatened with or by them.
Keep the box as long as it brings you joy and feel no guilt for that joy....

 

[VanillaCreme]

Archist and Wandering, that's gross and creepy...

 

[Badjedidude]

^^^Why? Clothing is clothing. I have a sweater of my ex's somewhere; just never got around to giving it back to her. I might have undergarments of hers hidden around somewhere, too... I just never really went through my whole house on an "ex-girlfriend purge" or something, so I'm sure there's tons of stuff of hers I have. *shrug*

If I ever found undies of hers, I dunno if I'd throw 'em away or not. I might just toss them in a drawer and forget about 'em again. lol