Ex's Birthday
- Thread starter samtron
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DarkSelene
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You shouldn't do absolutely anything.
C
Celt
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samtron said:
Well you've made the effort so it can't be on your conscience. No reply means no message the following year in my book.
You have done plenty already, including making yourself feel like you need to do more than that for some reason 
So what do you do??? Well I will tell you...do something fun you enjoy and not another useful moment or thought or ounce of energy spent thinking about this Merry Christmas BTW !
So what do you do??? Well I will tell you...do something fun you enjoy and not another useful moment or thought or ounce of energy spent thinking about this
Merry Christmas BTW !
samtron said:
Sure they can float off and cause all kinds of trouble out frolicking in the meadows, but it doesn't mean you can't coral them or that you shouldn't try when they are off causing things to your detriment. That's when they need you the most to be the adult. Be that for yourself
MisterLonely
Well-known member
I'd guess it dependson the breakup... If you've had a "civilised" break up then why shouldn't you be able todrop a line once in a while? ofcourse if it's one with allot of fighting, resentment, ander and/or pain it's probably a different story.
Granted that I do not have much experience with relationships of any kind, but it always strikes me as odd that someone that you were so close and intimate with can suddenly be persona non grata, and unworthy of even a happy birthday or merry christmas.
Granted that I do not have much experience with relationships of any kind, but it always strikes me as odd that someone that you were so close and intimate with can suddenly be persona non grata, and unworthy of even a happy birthday or merry christmas.
MisterLonely said:
I don't think anyone has argued that an ex is unworthy of a special occasion text, you are right in that it depends on the state of their post breakup relationship on how well such a message will go over.
But, The op was asking what he should do now that it's her birthday/Christmas and the text he had sent her for that occasion was ignored. The majority of the advice seems to be "don't dwell on it/don't do anything else", which I think comes from the fact that it's clearly painful for the op to have opened this wound and people are just essentially saying "don't twist the blade".
MisterLonely
Well-known member
Skyless said:
Indeed, and instead of giving advise directly I made a comment that should be able to allow the OP to come to his own conclusion, if he reads it he will knowingly or not compare his actions to see if they "fit" the criteria... So if his breakup was a bad one he might come to the conclusion that it was a mistake sending anything, if his breakup didn't cause allot of hostilities he would see that he didn't do anything wrong and wether he gets a reaction or not will feel good about the actions he took.
Telling someone what he/she should do is just one way to give advice, I prefer helping others come to a decission or conclusion on their own.
TheSkaFish
Jedi Guardian
samtron said:
It was nice of you to send a text, but you don't want to send any more texts than that and risk looking needy....I've made that mistake before (not even with a girlfriend though, just girls that I wanted to date). According to lots of articles I have read, women think neediness is the worst thing in the world. I guess there is nothing us guys can do about that except play along, which can be hard if you are the sensitive type like I am.
I would say wait a long time before messaging her again, if you still want to stay in touch - at least a couple weeks.
These kinds of days are hard though, I just try to keep myself busy until they pass. Give yourself permission to be lazy....video games, tv shows and movies, eat snacks, have some brews if you like....just to get through the day.
Oldyoung
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Ex's birthday?
Did you remember your ex's birthday in the first place? then
1. Write a long letter explaining in detail why you hate and despise them, and why they should feel bad about themselves.
2. Then burn the letter
3. Get on with your day as usual
Did you not remember at all?
Start at step 3
Did you remember your ex's birthday in the first place? then
1. Write a long letter explaining in detail why you hate and despise them, and why they should feel bad about themselves.
2. Then burn the letter
3. Get on with your day as usual
Did you not remember at all?
Start at step 3
samtron
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It was kind of a planned spur of the moment thing. It wasn't serious. I kept it light and humourous. And I wasn't at all surprised nothing was sent in return. Although a "Thank You" would have been nice. But I'm sending no more. It's just meeting people is not my forte, and I figured it couldn't hurt...
Hoarse Whisperer
You like me and I, like you, like me.
I personally don't find it appropriate to cold contact an ex for their birthday... they're an ex for a reason, usually, but I find that we like to give ourselves a slight glimmer of hope: I send them a polite message, they appreciate it and a dialogue ensues... maybe we can establish an odd version of our old relationship. It doesn't have to be romantic... but, maybe I can feel those comfortable feelings that I so dearly miss...
Speaking from experience, the best way to handle a dead relationship is to let it go. All you can do is hurt if you cling to shattered glass.
Speaking from experience, the best way to handle a dead relationship is to let it go. All you can do is hurt if you cling to shattered glass.
GrayAndLonesome
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samtron said:
Dude, why do you even send your ex a birthday wish text message when he/she's already a done deal.
After I broke up with my platonic GF two years ago, that was it. I never gave a damn about her. In fact, an hour after I asked her for my Christmas present back on the day that we broke up, I DELETED her phone number from my smart phone.
Hoarse Whisperer
You like me and I, like you, like me.
Don't get me wrong, I'm on at least semi-friendly terms with anyone I've dated, but I'm not looking to go walking down that same old road, which is filled with memories and, ultimately, sadness, by periodically wishing them a happy/merry______.
I've only had a couple of relationships end on a sour note, and we usually ended up amicable at the very least. I'm still not going out of my way to find out how their life is without me in it. That's not my business, and I really have no interest in it.
I've only had a couple of relationships end on a sour note, and we usually ended up amicable at the very least. I'm still not going out of my way to find out how their life is without me in it. That's not my business, and I really have no interest in it.
TheRealCallie
Princess Pink Love
I still wish several of my ex's happy birthdays. But then, we still talk to each other, so I guess it's different....
