Fantasizing as a coping mechanism for loneliness

[user 150037]

I'm wondering if anybody else here fantasize about having friends/romance?

I tend to have this inner (and, if I'm alone, outer) monologue going.  If I'm watching something on TV or playing a video game, or if I'm making a decision or mulling something over. I would imagine having a conversation in my head. It's almost as though my inner voice manifests itself as an imaginary friend.

Anybody else do this?

 

[AmyTheTemperamental]

I have a habit of fantasizing a lot. Lately, I've been picturing myself in a relationship. I imagine what it's like to fall asleep next to someone. I fantasize about meeting his friends, going out for dinners, etc etc. I have full conversations in my mind.

I also fantasize about being in an entirely different world. Often related to fantasy films I have watched.

These fantasies are directly linked to my pacing. If given the opportunity, I would do it for hours. Fortunately (I think) I have issues with my legs, and am unable to do it as much. But it just makes the fantasies stronger when I finally get to having them.

 

[TheRealCallie]

I don't think fantasizing is a coping mechanism. I think it's an escape mechanism. But, it also kind of depends of why you are doing it. If it's to help you think of ways to go about employing it in real life situations, it could be helpful. If you do it to escape from life to where you are going to end up living in this fantasy world/thought process the majority of time, it's not a good thing.

We all have fantasies and think of how things could be if life was slightly different or you had more friends or a partner or a better job, but it has serious potential to be a bad thing if you use it to escape real life.

 

[X-1 Alpha]

Pretty much what Callie said.

Fantasy and imagination can be both good and bad, it really depends just how deep you're going to entrench yourself in it.

At some point in the past I'd call it a coping mechanism, because I thought it honestly was helping me deal with everyday challenges, but I was wrong. It is actually quite a big problem for me now, since I've used this method to try and make it through nearly every issue I've encountered and I did this for many, many years now. I'd rather spend my time in this non existing "pocket dimension" than face reality, because comparing this vision of near-perfection with my ****** existance is only making me feel a lot more miserable than I already was.
Of course, not everyone will take it this far, but in my case it's one of the main factors which made me decide that I'm going to end my life. What used to be an escape from depression and problems eventually became another prison.

 

[user 150037]

I don't make too much of a conscious effort out of it - it does tend to occur subconsciously.

 

[Know One]

!!!!MY GOD!!!!

I will answer YES and...limit myself to this - I could EASILY write 10 movie scripts that would amaze the most prolific Hollywood writer! My whole life is a fantasy!

 

[IncolaVacui]

I cope through acceptance and making dealing with my loneliness a priority. That does, often result in me being wildly eccentric...but I'm okay with that. I'd rather be seen as wildly eccentric, than easy to take advantage of just because I'm nice and give people the benefit of a doubt and still maintained human compassion at the age of 30. It cuts the work out of the situation for me to just know what I know, and has saved me probably countless hours of time I would have otherwise wasted beating a dead horse, sotospeak. I think about as close as I get to fantasizing about having friends or a relationship these days is posting on message boards in a stream of consciousness writing style, and flipping through my memories in my mind. As for relationships? I handle that by looking at all of the reasons why I chose to be single, and that every now and then I meet someone I potentially have an interest in, the first question I'm going to ask myself is "What's the catch?" It's the question I ask myself before I over-invest myself and make a bunch of stupid decisions that I would regret later. If you refrain and wait, eventually it'll rear it's ugly head and you'll save yourself a step with that too (or at least, I do, that is).

 

[AmyTheTemperamental]

!!!!MY GOD!!!!

I will answer YES and...limit myself to this - I could EASILY write 10 movie scripts that would amaze the most prolific Hollywood writer!  My whole life is a fantasy!

I have considered turning mine into writing. But the magic seems lost when I sit down to put in on paper.

 

[Ulysses68]

Interesting. My problems began when father died, mum was ill, lost home and located to other side of country to live with Gran and sent to awful school! The only way I survived was to go inside my head and I'm still there. I don't think fantasizing is in any way bad - a great coping mechanism - as long as you realise that you do have to engage with the real world and it will engage with you unfortunately. But how much you do that and how much you escape is up to you. Holding a conversation with yourself is, I'd say, quite normal and a good way to make decisions - I talk to myself all the time - in fact I'm the most interesting person I know.

Of course if you go completely off the cliff and out of reality into a fantasy world than I guess that's one definition of madness. Once, in depression, I asked my doctor if I was going mad. "Do you ever think you really are King Arthur?" he said. No!" I said. "Well" said my doc, "you aren't mad, just unhappy because if you were really mad you'd be King Arthur, dressed in armor .... and perfectly happy!!!"

 

[user 150037]

There are things I like doing in the real world, so that balances it out. I try not to overdo it anyway - I fear that if I do I might start believing that what I'm imagining is real.

 

[IncolaVacui]

I try not to overdo it anyway - I fear that if I do I might start believing that what I'm imagining is real.

That's exactly why I always tell people that introspection is the ultimate rabbit hole.

 

[user 139760]

I fantasize about walking down one night into a waregouse full of mob guys, with a machine gun, a shotgun and enough explosives to level half of NY....wearing a Punisher t-shirt.
It helps. Helps me push back the thought of ACTUALLY do that.
So yeah, works. As long as you remember its only fantasy. Lots of people end up getting their lines blurred over time.

 

[Puddled Duck]

It’s getting very lonely on the forum.

 

[user 150037]

I fantasize about walking down one night into a waregouse full of mob guys, with a machine gun, a shotgun and enough explosives to level half of NY....wearing a Punisher t-shirt.
It helps. Helps me push back the thought of ACTUALLY do that.
So yeah, works. As long as you remember its only fantasy. Lots of people end up getting their lines blurred over time.

I sometimes fantasize about being a vampire, choosing a girl to sire and make mine forever. I might have to kill a few villagers and vampire hunters who get in my way first.

 

[user 139760]

I fantasize about walking down one night into a waregouse full of mob guys, with a machine gun, a shotgun and enough explosives to level half of NY....wearing a Punisher t-shirt.
It helps. Helps me push back the thought of ACTUALLY do that.
So yeah, works. As long as you remember its only fantasy. Lots of people end up getting their lines blurred over time.

I sometimes fantasize about being a vampire, choosing a girl to sire and make mine forever.  I might have to kill a few villagers and vampire hunters who get in my way first.

LOL! Well hey, if that's what works for you, it's all good. Though word of warning...I'll probably be out to hunt you. While driving a black Chevrolet Impala and playing rock music...I don't have a brother who drinks demon blood, but I'll adopt myself one ;-)

 

[IncolaVacui]

I fantasize about walking down one night into a waregouse full of mob guys, with a machine gun, a shotgun and enough explosives to level half of NY....wearing a Punisher t-shirt.
It helps. Helps me push back the thought of ACTUALLY do that.
So yeah, works. As long as you remember its only fantasy. Lots of people end up getting their lines blurred over time.

I have similar thoughts. Mine are more along the lines of: "Okay, so how can I (or rather, "we" (as a species, that is) "accidentally" open an artificial black hole problematic enough to actually kill us all?" And then the wheels in my crazy head start turning, and I obliterate myself into hours of research on the idea of the dangers of such scientific advancements.

 

[Xpendable]

I make up stories with full arcs and complete universes.

 

[IncolaVacui]

I make up stories with full arcs and complete universes.

[youtube]xezScrCQNts[/youtube]

 

[JMcC]

I pretend to sleep with someone. This is really weird, but sometimes I kiss my hand, or I hug my stomach with one arm to pretend that someone has their arm around me. I'll be alone for a long time. Ugly, clinical social anxiety, short, and UGLY. You like Huey Lewis and the News?

 

[user 150037]

I would guess that even people who are happily married have sexual fantasies. I know I would. I don't think that being married would stop me from fantasizing about the likes of Scarlett Johansson or Mila Kunis.