Fickle???

[Alonewith2cats]

Do you ever have someone occasionally talk to you but retreat when you try to keep the conversation going or somehow show them that you're glad they paid attention to you? Not that you said that or that you're making it super-obvious but you know what I mean? It's like you're showing too much enthusiasm or something but you're not really doing anything wrong.

Ok, I'll give an example. I have this friend (maybe I should call him an acquaintance) on face book who every once in a while sends me a nice hello message like "Hi, how RU? long time no talk, Merry Christmas...." whatever and then I write him back because I love getting messages and it's nice to talk to him. I can get maybe one or two replies after I write back but then he just dissappears and then nothing for a long time and then sometime later out of the blue...Oh hi again.

It's just weird how elusive friendship is these days.

 

[Sci-Fi]

Yeah, that's for sure. Sometimes it seems no matter how hard you try without overstepping the boundaries of respect, you just don't seem to get anywhere.

 

[Tiina63]

Yes, I have sometimes experienced this as well. It is so frustrating. I do wonder if, when it happens, have I come across as too needy or too lonely and frightend them off or something even if I have just been friendly?

 

[bodafuko]

Most people are incredibly shallow and self-centered. When you show 'genuineness', they recoil in horror as their niceness toward you was simply out of convenience and superficiality. Oops, does this make me cynical? Well, sadly enough, this IS the truth.

 

[perfanoff]

^ One only has to see the other thread that people are 'genuinely' hurtful so it makes sense to be somewhat afraid. Take THAT cynicism.

Alonewith2cats, why don't you write to him first instead? Press 'Like' on his photos and posts too.

 

[Lady X]

I find that too.

I don't have any real "friends" so to speak, just a few mates/acquaintances. I think people just really find me annoying.

It's not even like I'm mithering or bothering people. People just seem to contact me when they want something, and then once they have it, if I try and keep the conversation going they just drop off and that's the last I see of them until they want something again.

 

[bodafuko]

I find that too.

I don't have any real "friends" so to speak, just a few mates/acquaintances. I think people just really find me annoying.

It's not even like I'm mithering or bothering people. People just seem to contact me when they want something, and then once they have it, if I try and keep the conversation going they just drop off and that's the last I see of them until they want something again.

Yes, this is how people are. They do it to everyone, only in different ways. Those of us that are blatantly used are not the only ones. Everyone else gets used too. It's just more subtle. Those people use their best friends (for self-confidence) and their husbands/wives (for security). People really are just animals with a bundle of needs. They will rarely appreciate (or love) you for just being "you", instead they will attempt to put you into a classified box, so to speak, of what "need" of theirs you fulfill. Most people truly are just fooling themselves about the prospects for genuine friendship or love in this world.

 

[Alonewith2cats]

^ One only has to see the other thread that people are 'genuinely' hurtful so it makes sense to be somewhat afraid. Take THAT cynicism.

Alonewith2cats, why don't you write to him first instead? Press 'Like' on his photos and posts too.

I have done that. I get more likes from my Mom on face book than other people. I do appreciate that. Face book, although I'm hooked on it is a pretty shallow social network anyway. Back in my day, my much younger years before face book existed people actually picked up the phone and called each other, like my Mom and I do every now and then.

 

[EveWasFramed]

I can get maybe one or two replies after I write back but then he just dissappears and then nothing for a long time and then sometime later out of the blue...Oh hi again.

It's just weird how elusive friendship is these days.

I do this on occasion. It's not that Im not interested in talking to the person - I just get really busy sometimes and don't really want to respond unless I have the time to make a proper reply. It's nothing personal...just happens sometimes.

 

[TomTam]

I thought women are acting so: never answer back or need days to answer back, I usually ask myself, what are they searching for, why they show online if they're not interested in answering or having a friend or a partner, and so I wrote my thread "does it really matter what people look like to be friends?"

 

[Alonewith2cats]

He just invited me to his birthday party. I must be neurotic. Please disregard this thread. I'm a bit nervous about attending because I don't know his friends and I'm afraid my social skills will suck. I'm going anyway. Better to get out than not. It should be fun.

 

[Sci-Fi]

That's great, and good you are going.

 

[Peaches]

Most of the people who do that with me are guys, I don't know if that is because they have time to waste or because they are shallower, but yes, a lot of people in general don't spend too much time thinking, for better or for worse - Alonew2cats, glad you had this invite, you'll be cool

 

[ASnowyCanadian]

My work schedule, (and subsequently, drinking schedule) keep me from having a social life outside of work. I work with a good bunch of guys though so its alright. Maybe he works alot.