DupBear
Member
I would like to hear from the ladies what they consider as a high value man? I look forward to the responses.
For all Women: High Value Man
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ardour
Well known loser
Man here.
Sounds like someone's been reading r/FemaleDatingStrategy - It's a containment zone for sociopaths and you shouldn't take it seriously
Sounds like someone's been reading r/FemaleDatingStrategy - It's a containment zone for sociopaths and you shouldn't take it seriously
TheSkaFish
Jedi Guardian
Man here, as well.
I find the concept of "value" in attraction, weird.
Growing up, I thought I was taught to believe that we all have inherent value (the exception being people who commit serious crimes, do inhumane acts, etc.). That we weren't supposed to treat someone badly because they weren't "cool"/popular, didn't have looks or money, were different in some way, and so on.
Nowadays I see this concept of "value", both in attraction and other places, that basically contradicts that idea - it says, some people really ARE more valuable, some people really ARE better than others. The "cool kids" were right after all, having more strength/money/etc. really DOES make you more valuable, or "better". That you are only as valuable as you are to others, and NOT that we are all valuable inherently. That your value is determined by others, and not by you. It's a very hierarchical, right-wing idea. You only have as much value, as you have status - both of which are ultimately determined by your amount of power, which is almost always predetermined by what you were born with. I don't want to believe that, but that's the feeling I've gotten from a lot of stuff I've read on attraction.
I mean, I understand the idea of value in a sense - it's good to pursue success and be all you can be. Why be less, why leave anything on the table? And I understand how supply and demand work. But at the same time, I just don't like the sneering, elitist vibes I get when people talk about "value" in attraction, or elsewhere for that matter - like only a lucky few people deserve to be happy, and only a lucky few people will get anywhere, and most people can only ever be so good, and are stuck where they are, because they're inherently mediocre/inferior/limited/not good enough/hopeless, that some people are inherently losers.
(For the record, I'm not yelling at you OP, or trying to invalidate your post. It just got me thinking about stuff I've read in the past.)
I find the concept of "value" in attraction, weird.
Growing up, I thought I was taught to believe that we all have inherent value (the exception being people who commit serious crimes, do inhumane acts, etc.). That we weren't supposed to treat someone badly because they weren't "cool"/popular, didn't have looks or money, were different in some way, and so on.
Nowadays I see this concept of "value", both in attraction and other places, that basically contradicts that idea - it says, some people really ARE more valuable, some people really ARE better than others. The "cool kids" were right after all, having more strength/money/etc. really DOES make you more valuable, or "better". That you are only as valuable as you are to others, and NOT that we are all valuable inherently. That your value is determined by others, and not by you. It's a very hierarchical, right-wing idea. You only have as much value, as you have status - both of which are ultimately determined by your amount of power, which is almost always predetermined by what you were born with. I don't want to believe that, but that's the feeling I've gotten from a lot of stuff I've read on attraction.
I mean, I understand the idea of value in a sense - it's good to pursue success and be all you can be. Why be less, why leave anything on the table? And I understand how supply and demand work. But at the same time, I just don't like the sneering, elitist vibes I get when people talk about "value" in attraction, or elsewhere for that matter - like only a lucky few people deserve to be happy, and only a lucky few people will get anywhere, and most people can only ever be so good, and are stuck where they are, because they're inherently mediocre/inferior/limited/not good enough/hopeless, that some people are inherently losers.
(For the record, I'm not yelling at you OP, or trying to invalidate your post. It just got me thinking about stuff I've read in the past.)
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JJW
Well-known member
I look at this from a man's perspective, simply change man to woman. The value is on the inside. I don't think it can be labeled. Or maybe it's labeling it seems superficial and petty. Doing so I'll submit, would a high valued person want you as you are so superficial and petty?
Sebiguess
Active member
The problem with asking women questions like this is they will skip the stuff they consider “obvious”. Like, if you ask someone what sort of food they like, they generally won’t say “the kind that isn’t poisonous” because they think that’s just a given and doesn’t need stating.
The stuff that makes a man high value is obvious, and none of it will be mentioned by women who answer your question. Instead they will list a bunch of “nice to have” extra stuff which, for them, adds value over and above the obvious prerequisites, but none of it is as valuable as the obvious prerequisites. A woman might say “intelligence” or “sense of humour” but will date a man who has neither of those things if he’s hot or successful (whichever she prefers) or both.
JJW
Well-known member
I'll submit that the idealism of what people think they want, and what reality they'll accept is very different. You can design your best mate, but they'll not have a whole inclusion of traits. What is an asset in one person is a flaw in another. The best you could hope for within the answers is a description of a fantasy. Should someone fit the fantasy the reality would insert so many more complications that there can never be a perfect match.
ardour
Well known loser
JJW
Well-known member
And we'll all sit back and watch the 4 billion of you women fight over that one guy in the world that meets those criteria.
