For those who have a partner/ bf or gf/ spouse etc., why are you lonely?

[Luna]

A partner cannot meet all of our emotional needs - to expect so would only lead to disappointment. Even in relationships, one can still feel the pain of loneliness.

Having said that, it is better to have someone - that cares for you - than no one.

For those who have love/ someone/ friends...why are you lonely?
What is missing in your life?

 

[shells]

Parents.

Mother is deceased and father is mentally absent.
I love my grandmother and boyfriend. They keep me going.
I'm grateful that my grandmother took me in. But it's just not the same.

 

[Hope]

Good and valid question!

In my case what's (been) missing is:

Parents who love me, a deep-rooted sense of self-worth, a deep rooted sense of belonging,
a job (preferable with purpose and satisfaction), people (if not real friends then at least likeable people) NEARBY to hang out with.

 

[gm942]

I wish I were not. I love my wife with all my heart and she loves me right back and is doggedly loyal to me. I would not leave her or hurt her for anything. At the same time I miss and love my exwife with every fiber of my being and we split up 23 years ago. I never remember being lonely with her but then we were only together for a couple of years. I have never not been lonely with my present wife. It makes me feel guilty that I feel that way and I have tried to change it but it just doesn't. Thre is nothing I can point to and say, "thats why I'm lonely". I just am.

 

[EveWasFramed]

I'm not lonely. My husband is military, so he works a lot of hours each week, and is deployed from time to time, so I get BORED.

 

[heretostay]

im married. its lonely for a lot of reasons. mainly trust issues and ive moved states twice so its hard to make friends.

 

[nevercertain]

Well, while I do have a boyfriend(he lives in a different town), I still feel lonely the majority of the time. Besides him I only have really one other friend who lives in the same city as me. It feels more lonely because I have a hard time making new friends, and my boyfriend doesn't really care about making new friends(he is kind of a loner) So I kind of feel like I am going through the world alone, especially since I go to all social events( when I rarely do go to social events) by myself.

 

[Get Down!]

I wish that loneliness would stop being generally determined by the lack of a partner. After 3 months of mostly lurking here I somehow got bored of all the 'nobody wants me' kinds of threads. Please do not take it the wrong way. You have every right to complain about it and i will never say anything bad to you. But I created an account here because I hoped that maybe there are other kinds of people too. The ones that do not actually lack anything in particular but are still lonely for some reason.

So umm..
I have a boyfriend. I could see him anytime I want.
But mostly I don't want to. He's one of those happy let's live our life kind of a person. And I'm like wtf dude, life is boring. Let's just die as soon as possible. If I'm allowed to generalize.
I'm also very occupied with my college and a job. One could say I don't even have a time to feel lonely. But I do. When i'm on a bus or a train on a longer ride. Who knew trains could be so depressive actually lol.
I don't really have a best friend but i don't miss her anyways. I'm really not into all the shopping, men talking sorts of things. Or hugging. I really hate hugging girls that are supposed to be friends. It's awkward lol. I guess i was disappointed there but that was in the past. I don't believe it really affects me now.

So.. why am i lonely?
I have no idea lol. Because i'm sick of life. It's so predictable. And because it feels like i'm the only one who thinks so.

 

[Nyktimos]

I have a girlfriend but we don't really have much in common. Our personalities don't even compliment each other. I've been obsessed with the fear of being betrayed all my life, and I convinced myself I loved my girlfriend when I met her because I knew I could trust her and to stop myself going back to the real love of my life, who I never felt able to trust.

I'm lonely because the emptiness of no longer having the only woman I've ever loved in my life won't go away, even though I know we could never have made things work. I'm lonely because I spend my life humouring the woman I'm with who couldn't cope without me (she'll have to soon).

Having someone is one thing, but if you have a special place in your heart for someone you can't be with, that emptiness is always there.

 

[Punisher]

if you have a special place in your heart for someone you can't be with, that emptiness is always there.

:O

 

[Mopsy]

So.. why am i lonely?
I have no idea lol. Because i'm sick of life. It's so predictable. And because it feels like i'm the only one who thinks so.

I understand what you're saying somewhat Get Down! I tend to feel more alone in relationships than outside of them. One reason is because I obsess about myself less when I'm not in a relationship. I usually tend to put my wit and personality "on display" (for lack of better term) and then when the person I'm with sees one little flaw, I obsess more about myself and how to fix that flaw than on working with the person I'm with on it. Secondly, I find that I usually have more fun and enjoy life more when I don't spend a lot of time with one person. I like to sit and watch people so when I spend a lot of time with one person alone, I get bored of them and I start thinking about what I think my life should be like, which is what leads me to feeling lonely and bored.

It's not the lack of someone, it's the predictability of myself and of other people combined with a lack of self confidence and hope that makes me lonely.

(Yay for first actual post not in his own thread in the newbie section, I kinda feel like I went overboard on it)

 

[Nyktimos]

if you have a special place in your heart for someone you can't be with, that emptiness is always there.

:O

I've avoided posting recently because I never have anything positive to say and I didn't want to bring people down. I thought in this topic a negative viewpoint would be lost amongst many. I think I'd better take my fractured psyche and broken heart back into the corner to wallow some more.

 

[Punisher]

if you have a special place in your heart for someone you can't be with, that emptiness is always there.

:O

I've avoided posting recently because I never have anything positive to say and I didn't want to bring people down. I thought in this topic a negative viewpoint would be lost amongst many. I think I'd better take my fractured psyche and broken heart back into the corner to wallow some more.

Sadly it's the truth. Anyway, sorry you're feeling that way, and I hope you feel better soon

 

[Trishymouse]

Speaking for myself, I'm only lonely due to circumstances beyond my control, i.e., my boyfriend and I live 25 miles apart, he has health issues, he is a single father of three, the list goes on. The circumstances that cut into our time together are all on his side. I can't change them and trust me I've made suggestions and tried. Too long to go into but in recent months we see each other 3 times a month if lucky. I miss him tons - I already the love the guy so that's why it hurts so much. It's kinda like picking at a scab when I see him - it hurts as much as it helps, because it's not often enough. Friends say, you either live with it or move on. I won't move on, I love him. So I am trying to find ways to deal with the loneliness. That's why I'm here! LOL

 

[It was Mine]

I wonder if it's really "loneliness" or more a sense of incomplete? it takes many pieces to make a whole.

 

[Disconnected]

I co-habitate with my wife of 32 years.
I went the first 17 years thinking love would eventually solve our problems.
When I went to the marriage counselor alone at that point (because she wouldn't go with) I decided (and announced) I would wait for the kids to be out of the house and then divorce. My youngest should be out in a few months.

So even with a spouse physically present, when there is no real emotional or physical connection things can get lonely.

 

[raj]

A partner cannot meet all of our emotional needs - to expect so would only lead to disappointment. Even in relationships, one can still feel the pain of loneliness.

Having said that, it is better to have someone - that cares for you - than no one.

For those who have love/ someone/ friends...why are you lonely?
What is missing in your life?

I am one who has no girlfriend and all of my friends have. Some time they says, it is strange that person like you do not have any G/F but i do not have any answer for this. I am a little bit of emotional type person but my strength is my passion and positive thinking. After all i am human being and sometimes it hurts me that girls like those man who will 100% cheat her or use her and there love is for the time being but they always go towards shining things. Every shining thing don't have emotions.If you have a diamond in one hand and Bread in other hand, girls always go towards the thing which has high cost price and they even do not like to see towards the things which has value price. The person who give priority to value is really valuable and he can understand your value. he will use everything , which he has to make her g/f happy and neither he will left her nor let her go anywhere (Positively).
I think a special one is waiting for me and she could be worst for all but she will be my princes and will change my life. I am waiting till the end of my life , no matter when she will come but it is true that i will make her happiest woman on earth.

 

[It was Mine]

if you have a special place in your heart for someone you can't be with, that emptiness is always there.

:O

I've avoided posting recently because I never have anything positive to say and I didn't want to bring people down. I thought in this topic a negative viewpoint would be lost amongst many. I think I'd better take my fractured psyche and broken heart back into the corner to wallow some more.

I'm living proof of your quote.

 

[epsom]

distance. but when we're together everything just seems to go so well and it's just a great feeling..but then again we're apart most of the time.. and this time probably even up to a year if not more it sucks i'm telling you.

 

[sadface]

i feel like this is probably the most lonely type of lonely.

being around people, and feeling lonely around them.