Friendzone

[perfanoff]

So this is a passive social phenomena?

(smirk) You FACE is a passive social phenomena!

no ur face :club: lol

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Passive social phenomena to me means an event that occurs between people without active power being used by one, the other, or both on the relationship.

But doesn't the other person notice this person's advances?

Is the other person a saint or just another selfish human being?

What do you mean by this question? Are you referring to a question or situation?

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I hate friendzone so much, it's the worst relationship

It is? Why? How? I am not sure I understand.

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Just understand the huge difference between a true "nice guy" and a self proclaimed "nice guy."

Explain this difference to me. I am not sure I understand.

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If the other person notices she's wanted she can take advantage of that in various ways while not helping him break off the illusion he has a chance with her. Being in the "friend zone" is NOT having a friend because anything ever close to a friend would never do this. Just like the "nice guy" isn't a real nice guy. These are code phrases that mean something else altogether now.

Active power as in....? I have no idea what you mean.Can you give an example?

 

[ghbarnaby2]

using influence to act upon a situation. Like a parent has the power socially to reprimand their child. That's an exercise of that power. It isn't a great example but it is the easiest to understand.

What do you mean by "she can take advantage of the situation". Does this happen often? Do most people do this? How do they do it? Why do they do it?

 

[SophiaGrace]

I submit to you that friendzoning is an emotion rather than a phenomenon. It is the emotion of dissapointment, heartbreak and negative emotions of rejection. The person develops feelings of resentment towards the other person who rejected them, when they've already invested emotions with that person.

Now, the true test of a person comes with how they handle that rejection. With any rejection there will be negative emotions. Some people just cannot deal with the negative emotions in an way that frames the other person as being an innocent person and instead lash out at the person who has rejected them. Therefore they complain about how they're such a nice guy...etc. Other people refuse the rejection, as if it were nothing but mist and smoke, and keep pressing the other person trying to change their feelings. I think the latter really shows a lack of respect for boundaries, and it seriously turns me off whenever someone does this to me. The former maybe I could understand better but sometimes I just find it's best not to waste guilt over something you can't control and it's the other person's responsibility to deal with.

You know? I also think it's important though to be kind to other people's emotions even if you don't feel the same way. Know that it may take a while for emotions to change once they are set, but that this doesn't mean they are a bad person, just, they're stuck in it.

So, be kind to other people's emotions but know that you haven't done anything wrong if you are the rejector.

If you are the rejectee, know that there is nothing you can do to change the other person's mind and just be nice to them like you would anyone else. If you fell in love with them or developed emotions towards them, you should keep in mind that there must be a reason and that they are a good person. So, use those good feelings to develop something good with that person that may not be of a romantic nature.

Those are my two cents.

 

[perfanoff]

You mean there are people that use social influence to influence others in sexual matters? Wait, I knew that. Let me put this out there:

I think a small number of women do this using, since most men have tried to date at least several women though, many men have seen that situation forming.

Why those women do it? Obviously for the benefits, whatever form they take, lol.

How do they do it? By active flirting or by passively not dispelling the guy's hopes, letting him keep the wrong idea.

So what's YOUR opinion about all of this? I see you ask a lot of questions here but express no opinions at all. And why are you asking?

 

[LonelyLola]

Well there's the implication, I think, that the act of using/manipulating someone is described as "friendzoning" rather than just neglecting to have/return romantic feelings.

Too often rejected guys think they are being used stead of just enjoying a friendship. I know I've spoken with guys who think that they being nice and friendly to a girl should result n her wanting them, and when she is only interested in being friends they feel cheated.

Thing is, we don't romantically like everyone we meet and are friends with. I wish more people were just happy being friends. Look for romance elsewhere!

 

[ghbarnaby2]

Well there's the implication, I think, that the act of using/manipulating someone is described as "friendzoning" rather than just neglecting to have/return romantic feelings.

Too often rejected guys think they are being used stead of just enjoying a friendship. I know I've spoken with guys who think that they being nice and friendly to a girl should result n her wanting them, and when she is only interested in being friends they feel cheated.

Thing is, we don't romantically like everyone we meet and are friends with. I wish more people were just happy being friends. Look for romance elsewhere!

If this is true then why do people use this term? Wouldn't people have changed their views or mores about that since it has been observed? Is there something that causes a person to feel this way? You said also that "we don't romantically like everyone we meet" this applies generally correct? But are most people looking (actively searching) for a mate then? What constitutes a behavior pattern of that indicates arousal? When you say that someone being 'nice and friendly' results in someone wanting someone else, does this apply to homosexual people as well? Is there a "friend zone" for the gay community as well?

 

[ardour]

"friendzone" is where male acquaintances with un reciprocated romantic feelings go. Genuine prior friendships fade here because women are uncomfortable talking to them from there on.

"nice guys" are men with ulterior motives that fake an interest in friendship in order to stay in close vicinity to their 'crush'. It's often misapplied to any guy who develops feelings for a friend, or any guy who wonders why being nice isn't enough.

 

[EveWasFramed]

"friedzone" is where male acquaintances with un reciprocated romantic feelings go.

Where do the female acquaintances go? I need to know these things.

 

[ghbarnaby2]

Oooooo! that's a good question! I wanna know that too.

 

[EveWasFramed]

Oooooo! that's a good question! I wanna know that too.

lol, **** stirrer.

 

[ardour]

I am deeply wounded by your mocking

 

[EveWasFramed]

I am deeply wounded by your mocking

Not sure if you're wounded, or if that's sarcasm, but consider the alternative to what I said...

I could have said that you were being sexist by suggesting that only females "friend-zone" guys, but instead, I chose to add a little humor to the thread.

 

[ardour]

Not sure if you're wounded, or if that's sarcasm, but consider the alternative to what I said...

I could have said that you were being sexist by suggesting that only females "friend-zone" guys, but instead, I chose to add a little humor to the thread.

Fine, where acquaintances with unreciprocated feelings go. It’s also the place where friendship dies from personal experience, since no PERSON wants to continue hanging around with someone with residue bitterness or attachment.

 

[EveWasFramed]

....where acquaintances with unreciprocated feelings go. It’s also the place where friendship dies, since no PERSON wants to continue hanging around with someone with residue bitterness or attachment.

This makes sense and I could see it happening quite easily to a number of people.

 

[perfanoff]

Pff! The friendzone is a males-only term! Make your own one if you want one, girls!

 

[ardour]

on second thoughts no..

 

[EveWasFramed]

Pff! The friendzone is a males-only term! Make your own one if you want one, girls!

You're totally in my friend-zone, Perfs. lol
But....that's a good thing in my eyes.

 

[SophiaGrace]

I would never let a friend zone stop me from trying to be friends with someone. There's a good darn reason after all that I developed feelings for them. They must be awesomesauce!

 

[onmyown1979]

I learned that once you're friend zoned its best to greatly reduce contact. It gets weird to the lady so she'll talk to you less and less and end up dating a guy that's treats her like crap. If you're not really her friend anymore you don't have to endure her self imposed misery. A good guy was right there and she bypassed, her right but still #Experience

 

[disintigration]

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