frown

[Triple Bogey]

There is this new lass at work. First thing I noticed was the frown on her face. It is always there, just gives the impression she is unhappy, bored or pissed off.

Thing is I don't think she is. She seems a normal person. Everybody at work is shy and quiet at first. She did talk more today.

I too have that 'frown'. It's just the way my face settles. My face hangs into a frown unless I smile. Of course all the way thru my life people have mentioned it, telling me to cheer up or 'you never look happy' - things have been tough, making friends, meeting women, getting a job. I can understand everything. I have a miserable looking face. I have a miserable sounding voice. And to top it off miserable looking body language.

Women don't like me. Apart from a few sympathetic ones who feel sorry for me.

I try to avoid mirrors and cameras. When I catch a reflection of myself in a window, I feel like crying. Nothing to do with attractiveness either.

I smile and joke as much as I can. But I do understand why people who don't know me, don't like what they see !

 

[dawningday]

I can relate on the part of having this frown.....I don't really frown....but people often tell me to smile, or are you feeling ok. I tend to get this look when I am concentrationg on something, or if I'm really bored..lol
I've always been very quite, almost shy and have a hard time breaking the ice with people. To get into a comfort zone with people is hard for me.
As with phyical appearance, I have a tendency to be very negative about my looks. I know its a false self perception thing, so its llike i can look in the mirror....wonder if i'm not as bad looking, as i think....or well, maybe i'm not that bad looking. But for the rest of me, I can be a bit awkward, clumsy...I'm a bit on the tall side, slender type of person...so i walk into things easly, or loose my balance. So i have a fear of people looking at me, because of that.
Basically , with myself I try to replace those negative, untrue thoughts with something more positive....like posititive comformations.

 

[Triple Bogey]

I can relate on the part of having this frown.....I don't really frown....but people often tell me to smile, or are you feeling ok. I tend to get this look when I am concentrationg on something, or if I'm really bored..lol
I've always been very quite, almost shy and have a hard time breaking the ice with people. To get into a comfort zone with people is hard for me.
As with phyical appearance, I have a tendency to be very negative about my looks. I know its a false self perception thing, so its llike i can look in the mirror....wonder if i'm not as bad looking, as i think....or well, maybe i'm not that bad looking. But for the rest of me, I can be a bit awkward, clumsy...I'm a bit on the tall side, slender type of person...so i walk into things easly, or loose my balance. So i have a fear of people looking at me, because of that.
Basically , with myself I try to replace those negative, untrue thoughts with something more positive....like posititive comformations.

when I was 20, I had all my hair and I thought I looked good. So I couldn't understand why women didn't want to know me. It was probably the frown I had. Now I look either ugly or strange so things have gone from bad to worse.

 

[ardour]

Oh yea, an unfortunate bone structure leading to a frowning/scowling resting face.

Having to be self-concious and make an effort to look pleasant and all the time and not inadvertently piss people off (particularly women) while still appearing all genuine and natural. Exhausting.

A few female well-wishers, but otherwise a **** load of contempt from the opposite sex. Huge anxiety about first impressions.

Yes you have a point about default facial expression.

 

[hazel_flagg]

I am a horrible scowler, I'm scowling in all my baby pictures too.

I look mean and it freaks people out. The only ones who aren't freaked out are the ones who stuck around to get to know me and realized I wasn't going to come at them with a pick-axe.

The only way to try and hide my scowl and the resulting lines between my eyebrows is to wear bangs. Which works, but I hate anything touching my forehead.

I can't win!

I love getting told to smile more. Just. Love. It. *snaps pencil*

 

[Triple Bogey]

I am a horrible scowler, I'm scowling in all my baby pictures too.

I look mean and it freaks people out. The only ones who aren't freaked out are the ones who stuck around to get to know me and realized I wasn't going to come at them with a pick-axe.

The only way to try and hide my scowl and the resulting lines between my eyebrows is to wear bangs. Which works, but I hate anything touching my forehead.

I can't win!

I love getting told to smile more. Just. Love. It. *snaps pencil*

I get the odd comment from time to time. Working in retail has forced me to smile more and be more outgoing.

I don't think the comments bother me as much now. I shrug them off. When I was 18 and started working, people treated me like I was some kind of freak. Every single day people would comment on my unsmiling face.

I also get the occasional sympathetic person, normally a woman who takes pity on me.

 

[Case]

This reminds me of the "grumpy cat" meme. Can anybody determine this cat's actual emotion based solely on its face? No. Can anyone determine the emotional state of ANY cat based on its face? No, again. But the meme is pretty funny.

That being said, this video shows the cat to be pretty normal, with the only exception being that it has a downturn to its mouth.

[video=youtube]

Sadly, it's this cat's facial expression ALONE that created the meme. And that's how our society judges us. They see a facial expression they equate with sadness or depression, and they assume that's the correct deduction. Then, they say the usual, "Why so sad? Cheer up." They mean well, I suppose. I don't think people say this intending to piss anyone off, but it does, so I don't know the answer to this problem.

Maybe come up with snappy retorts?

Q: "Why so sad? Cheer up?"
A: "Why so happy? Ignoring the news again, are we?"

Q: "You look so sad."
A: "Thank you. My name is Eeyore. Nice to meet you."

Q: "Come on. Give us a smile."
A: "I only smile when I talk to people I like."

Then again, maybe it's just best to ignore them.

 

[Triple Bogey]

This reminds me of the "grumpy cat" meme. Can anybody determine this cat's actual emotion based solely on its face? No. Can anyone determine the emotional state of ANY cat based on its face? No, again. But the meme is pretty funny.

That being said, this video shows the cat to be pretty normal, with the only exception being that it has a downturn to its mouth.

[video=youtube]

Sadly, it's this cat's facial expression ALONE that created the meme. And that's how our society judges us. They see a facial expression they equate with sadness or depression, and they assume that's the correct deduction. Then, they say the usual, "Why so sad? Cheer up." They mean well, I suppose. I don't think people say this intending to piss anyone off, but it does, so I don't know the answer to this problem.

Maybe come up with snappy retorts?

Q: "Why so sad? Cheer up?"
A: "Why so happy? Ignoring the news again, are we?"

Q: "You look so sad."
A: "Thank you. My name is Eeyore. Nice to meet you."

Q: "Come on. Give us a smile."
A: "I only smile when I talk to people I like."

Then again, maybe it's just best to ignore them.

on the other hand there are people with happy smiling faces who are really miserable, boring people.

there isn't an answer, I just try to be as happy as I can. And I hope that shows thru in my face.

 

[hazel_flagg]

I get the odd comment from time to time. Working in retail has forced me to smile more and be more outgoing.

I don't think the comments bother me as much now. I shrug them off. When I was 18 and started working, people treated me like I was some kind of freak. Every single day people would comment on my unsmiling face.

I also get the occasional sympathetic person, normally a woman who takes pity on me.
--

Oh, I've had jobs where I have made myself smile and had no choice but to be outgoing. I worked at daycare for many years, I also did waitressing and..*ugh* Subway. Smile smile smile.

It's just when I clocked off that my face would relax and I would be Hateful Face again.

 

[Case]

on the other hand there are people with happy smiling faces who are really miserable, boring people.

That is very true, and it's the opposite side of the coin.

there isn't an answer, I just try to be as happy as I can. And I hope that shows thru in my face.

It's a good way to approach it.

 

[kamya]

My nickname at my old job actually was Eeyore :O

 

[Case]

My nickname at my old job actually was Eeyore :O

I mentioned Eeyore because I have a friend who is a retail store manager, and when I worked with him, someone started calling him Eeyore because he could get a bit down in the dumps and grumpy. But I just saw him last week, and on his truck, he has an Eeyore sticker attached. Apparently, the name stuck, he liked it, and now he likes the nickname. I thought that was awesome. Also, it was never said out of meanness. He's a great guy. But he was prone to being sad sometimes, and someone decided he was like the Pooh character.

 

[OnlyMe]

There is this new lass at work. First thing I noticed was the frown on her face. It is always there, just gives the impression she is unhappy, bored or pissed off.

Thing is I don't think she is. She seems a normal person. Everybody at work is shy and quiet at first. She did talk more today.

I too have that 'frown'. It's just the way my face settles. My face hangs into a frown unless I smile. Of course all the way thru my life people have mentioned it, telling me to cheer up or 'you never look happy' - things have been tough, making friends, meeting women, getting a job. I can understand everything. I have a miserable looking face. I have a miserable sounding voice. And to top it off miserable looking body language.

Women don't like me. Apart from a few sympathetic ones who feel sorry for me.

I try to avoid mirrors and cameras. When I catch a reflection of myself in a window, I feel like crying. Nothing to do with attractiveness either.

I smile and joke as much as I can. But I do understand why people who don't know me, don't like what they see !

Very similar to my situation.

I've never been a 'smiley' person, and do have suffer from the natural frown.

However anyone who actually knows me is aware that I have a pretty good sense of humour.

In saying that, I have no doubt that the way the feel inside does also come through and add to the frown.

Also one of the girls at work also has a similar problem with the natural frown.

She also gets people telling her to 'smile' (which she absolutely hates being told)

Funny part is that she has an absolutely beautiful smile that is accentuated by the most amazing eyes (which I have told her)