Gym with the girls or gym with the guys

[CenotaphGirl]

No need to respond ramblinggggg

To be or not to be … that is the question

Now most know I have social anxiety and I have been through soooo much to get my butt back outside!

I was a victim of male violence so going to the gym was my hardest hurdle. I went with my brother who is an absolute monster in the gym and nearly killed me lol both our progress is insane my body has never looked this good in all my life despite being a model prior. I had work done I wont deny that but I also put in soooo much work.

Now im in a relationship, my partner wants me to attend a womens only gym, its a luxury gym and he pays for it however… my brother cant come and as most of you know he likes to be with me nearly 24/7.

Like the submissive kitten I am, I gave it a try and its just not working for me, I cant seem to feel in the zone like I can with my bro. When I bring it up seems to sound like “I want attention from men at the gym” the thing is my brother is such a monster (and he’s white so people assume he’s my boyfriend or a total simp waiting for his chance) that no one even looks at me when I’m in the gym unless he’s not with me which is rare.

Trust is huge, being with me is scary because I am the type of woman who is an attention whoree and compulsive flirt but I am not that in a gym.. scouts honour. I respect my man doesn't want my bad behaviour impacting our relationship… but I need more rope… a little slack… not sure how to ask for that without hanging myself…

 

[okidoke]

24/7 eh. How does Rob feel about that?

And is that Amy Schumer? God I can't stand that thing.

 

[ardour]

So he has no problem stopping you from spending precious time with your brother... just tell him no. Too bad.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

24/7 eh. How does Rob feel about that?

And is that Amy Schumer? God I can't stand that thing.

He gets annoyed as do I. Its not easy, everyone hates how close we are to be honest, apart from my bro lol

Wow is it her? I thought she was fat

So he has no problem stopping you from spending precious time with your brother... just tell him no. Too bad.

Hmmm why do I think that would end badly

 

[user 135671]

Tell 'em at the girls gym your brother identifies as a woman, problem solved

 

[Unsigned]

Wow is it her? I thought she was fat

She is. And fat is all I see in that GIF.

He gets annoyed as do I. Its not easy, everyone hates how close we are to be honest, apart from my bro lol

Just my own opinion here, but I think it would be rare to find a guy who is OK with getting engaged and then realizing it is a "package deal".
I know nothing of your personal situation obviously, but did your fiance always understand that you take care of your brother?
Would you have him come live with you after you are married?

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Tell 'em at the girls gym your brother identifies as a woman, problem solved

omg I wishhh i could show how funny that would bee he looks like he could eat a whole whale

She is. And fat is all I see in that GIF.


Just my own opinion here, but I think it would be rare to find a guy who is OK with getting engaged and then realizing it is a "package deal".
I know nothing of your personal situation obviously, but did your fiance always understand that you take care of your brother?
Would you have him come live with you after you are married?

Omg I thought she was wayyy bigger, good for her

And Yeahhh everyone thinks they can handle it until they see how intense the whole situation gets and some annoying things my bro will do.

He cant live with me but he might aswell as we arent apart for more than 5 days

Lucky my Rob is really close with his bro too as otherwise he’d be super annoyed

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

Most men don't go to the gym to try to be more attractive for women that they don't already have access to. That's usually not why they're there.
While it is true that you can meet people in the fitness community who are willing to help you along the way with your personal fitness journey, and it is also true that some people do meet their lovers through such experiences and places, that's not why people are usually at the gym.

Exercise can be meditative.
Very meditative.
That's why they're usually there.

It's about the Mind-Body Connection and and Mental Clarity.

Now without knowing that already, I can completely understand the misconception.
But the fact of the matter is, that a gym is more alike a martial arts dojo, or a Tai Chi studio, than it is a night club.
At least in my best understanding of it.

It's where people go to to clear their mind through physical activity and to reflect in the process.
Yoga, actually, in the traditional Eastern mentality and practices of it, actually, is also quite akin.
In fact a strong historical argument could be put forth that ancient yogic practices are probably some of the first known recorded exercises specifically for the sake of Mind-Body Connectivity.
There are lots of reasons as to why that is but I'll leave that out and spare the forum of writing an Elder Scroll about it.

Okay yes, there are people who go to the gym solely for vanity purposes. Typically those are the people between 18 and 25, who are still dealing with learning hormonal management. It's an 80s movie trope for a reason. Although I'm thankful for that one, because there is a certain amount of comedic silliness that just comes with the nature of exercising. Like this guy, who is basically a genius:



I would like to hire this guy for some crafting sometime. I'm sure he will probably have a Hell of a career in crafting.

Now in terms of why you're going to the gym, or what you're trying to accomplish with your body physically and for what reasons different things are going to work either for you or against you and finding what works is a grey area study of its own because everyone's health is different.

Personally, I'm 140 lbs at 5'10.
So, I don't go to the gym, mostly because I'm poor and I actively try to avoid monthly fees and luxury marketing tactics.
So, I've got 150 lbs of weights, half of which is dumbbells and kettle bells the other half of which is body weights, some yoga mats, and a collapsible adjustable bench. Pullup bar, some resistance bands and straps for a little bit of creative jury-rigging, aannddd yeah, that's basically all I need for a while.
Because I'm trying to go for slim/toned rather than big and bulk.

The reason why my goal is slimmed/toned instead of big and bulk is economical.
In order to bulk correctly, you've gotta be able to eat more. Eating is expensive, I'm poor, so I'm adjusting accordingly.
It's easier to manage this than it is to try to bulk up and then try to figure out how I'm gonna keep coming up with the money, time and general investing climb to be able to keep shape and tone in that bulk.
Plus I'm not paying thousands of dollars for machinery, nor am I buying into someone's personal sworn-by brand of equipment and/or protein powders, I'm keeping it all simple and practical.

 

[Punisher]

Your brother isn't the problem, the jacked-up hunks around you are. Imagine he had a sister, and he was in the gym with her, surrounded by all the hot, sweaty women, but he had the choice to go to an all male gym.

Should find a different way to spend time with your brother.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Most men don't go to the gym to try to be more attractive for women that they don't already have access to. That's usually not why they're there.
While it is true that you can meet people in the fitness community who are willing to help you along the way with your personal fitness journey, and it is also true that some people do meet their lovers through such experiences and places, that's not why people are usually at the gym.

Exercise can be meditative.
Very meditative.
That's why they're usually there.

It's about the Mind-Body Connection and and Mental Clarity.

Now without knowing that already, I can completely understand the misconception.
But the fact of the matter is, that a gym is more alike a martial arts dojo, or a Tai Chi studio, than it is a night club.
At least in my best understanding of it.

It's where people go to to clear their mind through physical activity and to reflect in the process.
Yoga, actually, in the traditional Eastern mentality and practices of it, actually, is also quite akin.
In fact a strong historical argument could be put forth that ancient yogic practices are probably some of the first known recorded exercises specifically for the sake of Mind-Body Connectivity.
There are lots of reasons as to why that is but I'll leave that out and spare the forum of writing an Elder Scroll about it.

Okay yes, there are people who go to the gym solely for vanity purposes. Typically those are the people between 18 and 25, who are still dealing with learning hormonal management. It's an 80s movie trope for a reason. Although I'm thankful for that one, because there is a certain amount of comedic silliness that just comes with the nature of exercising. Like this guy, who is basically a genius:



I would like to hire this guy for some crafting sometime. I'm sure he will probably have a Hell of a career in crafting.

Now in terms of why you're going to the gym, or what you're trying to accomplish with your body physically and for what reasons different things are going to work either for you or against you and finding what works is a grey area study of its own because everyone's health is different.

Personally, I'm 140 lbs at 5'10.
So, I don't go to the gym, mostly because I'm poor and I actively try to avoid monthly fees and luxury marketing tactics.
So, I've got 150 lbs of weights, half of which is dumbbells and kettle bells the other half of which is body weights, some yoga mats, and a collapsible adjustable bench. Pullup bar, some resistance bands and straps for a little bit of creative jury-rigging, aannddd yeah, that's basically all I need for a while.
Because I'm trying to go for slim/toned rather than big and bulk.

The reason why my goal is slimmed/toned instead of big and bulk is economical.
In order to bulk correctly, you've gotta be able to eat more. Eating is expensive, I'm poor, so I'm adjusting accordingly.
It's easier to manage this than it is to try to bulk up and then try to figure out how I'm gonna keep coming up with the money, time and general investing climb to be able to keep shape and tone in that bulk.
Plus I'm not paying thousands of dollars for machinery, nor am I buying into someone's personal sworn-by brand of equipment and/or protein powders, I'm keeping it all simple and practical.

Go you!!!

Honestly gym is my therapy! Nothing impacts my mind more than having a body I can respect.

Your brother isn't the problem, the jacked-up hunks around you are. Imagine he had a sister, and he was in the gym with her, surrounded by all the hot, sweaty women, but he had the choice to go to an all male gym.

Should find a different way to spend time with your brother.

I guess I just feel like its life, theres always hot people I may have mentioned my bro is a personal trainer and security so we end up going jogging and stuff instead of going gym, but its like a huge sacrifice to me to just not go into a normal gym. There are good sides too though, it is luxury, loads of spas and massages and blah blah

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

Honestly gym is my therapy! Nothing impacts my mind more than having a body I can respect.

For me it's more like I'm trying to keep myself healthy enough to be doing jobs that I don't want to have to keep doing. See at 35, I'm stuck between younger guys that don't want to do physical lifting jobs, and older guys in upper management who don't want to retire for a/b/c and z/y/zed reasons. So the way I'm managing it and dealing with it is: I can just burn the old folks out, I'm not worried about that, that's a factor of inevitability on its own. And all I've gotta do to keep the younger kids out of my way is just be more accurate and more on top of my grind than they are.

There is also the factor that it's a meditative practice that helps me relax. It puts my mind at ease the way that I think perhaps other people do. I can trance out into it and often do. "What're you thinking about." "Nothing." "Why?" "Because it's calming."

 

[CenotaphGirl]

For me it's more like I'm trying to keep myself healthy enough to be doing jobs that I don't want to have to keep doing. See at 35, I'm stuck between younger guys that don't want to do physical lifting jobs, and older guys in upper management who don't want to retire for a/b/c and z/y/zed reasons. So the way I'm managing it and dealing with it is: I can just burn the old folks out, I'm not worried about that, that's a factor of inevitability on its own. And all I've gotta do to keep the younger kids out of my way is just be more accurate and more on top of my grind than they are.

There is also the factor that it's a meditative practice that helps me relax. It puts my mind at ease the way that I think perhaps other people do. I can trance out into it and often do. "What're you thinking about." "Nothing." "Why?" "Because it's calming."

Hmmm this sounds healthy to me Apexie. Do you ensure you are eating adequate protein too? My bro always tells me if I dont it’ll start to impact the brain negatively but I think he just wants to scare me into carbs

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

Hmmm this sounds healthy to me Apexie. Do you ensure you are eating adequate protein too? My bro always tells me if I dont it’ll start to impact the brain negatively but I think he just wants to scare me into carbs

Yes, I measured out my protein to carb intake ratio for my diet.
That is an important factor. Body needs carbs to burn, but also needs protein to build. The difficult part is that that ratio is going to be different for everyone due to height, weight, and metabolic rate. So what works for me will be different than what works for someone who is twice my size. The scale is relative, in accordance to health needs.