Happiness gone down the drain *rant*

[Levy-Rocket21]

Hello every one out there I don't know how to start this but I will try to do the best I can, it's a bit of a rant but this pretty much sum's up my life story and it's situation right now. I'm currently 19 M from Australia. I just wanted to say that I feel like my life is going no where and I'm loosing hope to see light at the end of the tunnel.

I'm quite a smart and wise person when it come's down to logical thoughts and human psychology. But the main thing is I can't seem to help myself. I used to be a happy kid till the end of primary school everything has just been a down fall since I started secondary school till this day. I hardly had no friend's, people dissed me out because of my race, I was looked upon by people as a looser, I couldn't defend myself because I'm really small against others. I wanted to move school's but my parent's insisted I stayed at school till I finish and I did. Normally high school is ment to be a fun enjoying experience for people, infact mine wasn't.

I currently attend college for 2 years right now and I'm lost I don't enjoy any of my classes and seem to find no interest in anything in life. I get so bored that I sometimes look at porn during classes. I socialise with a few people in my class but thet think I'm funny at times but most of the time they say I'm not a "normal" person and I'm weird.

I don't enjoy going out to night clubs or socialise clubs, I prefer to be by myself most of the time, I just stay at home 99% of 365 days of the year.

I never had a girlfriend nor do I have any female friends. I have talked to a few on social networking sites they say that there is no love in my voice and the tone of my voice is all negative. I'm not one of those lovey dubby people who compliment's girls and get all cheesy. They just think I'm weird.

My future vision of life is just to be happy, having a wife a car and a home. All I want to do is just relax on a tropical island sleeping under a palm tree and eating a bunch of fruits.

*I know people say just hang in there everything is going to be fine, in reality I know it won't because I can predict my own outcomes by the way I do thing's and how I do the thing's in life. I get motivated and inspired for 1 day then there it goes down the drain.

I'm not a happy person, it's really really hard to please me because there's nothing in my life that makes me happy. It's like non existant.

In my personal opinion I think T.V, Internet, Media, Porn, all these thing's around us has some sort off affect each person's view in life. We would all love to be rich, living the dream, chilling everyday, having sex with ******* but this aint the case, but this is just my opinion.

I just don't know what to think in life anymore. I'm going no where. Any idea's guys ?
Sorry for my annoying life rant.

 

[el Jay]

You sound a lot like me. My problems stem from having been bullied in school, but a lot of the other stuff sounds like me. I had trouble finding joy or purpose when I first went to college, and I don't go out and socialize much (which is to say, my only real socialization is when I'm at college, since I live off-campus). Spending 99% of the year at home, alone, is me all over. And I definitely know the feeling of being excited for one day and then losing all interest and motivation, probably because I've never really had anyone to cheer me on.

I'm afraid I don't really have much advice, though. I'm 28, and only last year decided to go back to college to actually finish a bachelor's degree in something I had considered first back in 2005. For me, the only way I found any real direction (if you can even call it that; I know I don't) was to just suffer for years, mostly alone (or with very few friends, none of which could or would do much for me), before even getting this far. Hopefully you'll find a way to do better. If you can, be sure to let me know.

 

[ladyforsaken]

Hey willyboy, welcome to the forum.

I'm sorry that I don't have that much of a great advice to give you at the moment. But I hope that by being on the forum, you might be able to find the answers you are looking for.

 

[Levy-Rocket21]

Thank's for the reply mate. I really appreciate that you did. I'm just fearing that one day I will get old and all miserable because time tick's faster by the day that's just in my case. Before I know it every year will just tick by same **** happening. The thing about me is that I don't want to go into the work force. Yes I have had 3 job's in the past and they were very boring. Some of my job's it feel's like slavery work but you have to do it for the money in order to live in this world and society. Maybe I will make my own business one day and make work enjoyable and different for people I hope you find the key to the answers as well.

 

[ladyforsaken]

Maybe I will make my own business one day and make work enjoyable and different for people

Good luck, willy.