Hate life

[sadmoongaze]

Sorry, I don't post on here often. I have been feel more and more hopeless as of late. My life just feels so worthless and it hurts to not be worth love and acceptance. I have tried to better myself such as being five and a half years sober from alcohol, but none of feels like it matters. I am tired of pushing myself in vain. I want to give up.

 

[okidoke]

I notice you say sorry a lot. You don’t need to. My guess is you have very low confidence and self esteem. You can remedy that by doing things that give you confidence. It’s not easy, I know it isn’t. Do you want share more about yourself? And congrats on your sobriety!!

 

[user 150037]

Yes, well done! And i too would like to know more about you.

I know people who have said 'i want to give up' and 'dont want to be here' but are at the moment doing ok. There is always hope even if it doesnt feel like there is at the moment.

Can i just ask, what evidence do you have that suggests you aren't worthy of love and acceptance? Have you done something wrong? Committed a crime? Made a mistake that negatively impacted someone? Do you have a history of taking delight in other people's pain?

If your answer is none of the above then there is no reason you should be unworthy of being loved and accepted.

 

[sadmoongaze]

I notice you say sorry a lot. You don’t need to. My guess is you have very low confidence and self esteem. You can remedy that by doing things that give you confidence. It’s not easy, I know it isn’t. Do you want share more about yourself? And congrats on your sobriety!!

I guess that's the thing, it's not easy to the point it just feels meaningless. Like, I can put myself out there or be willing to, and just get little to nothing in return.

It's hard to share a lot about myself but I have felt more or less alone nearly my entire life. There is definitely things I can work on within myself, but I don't have a lot of control when it comes to others accepting me. Sorry, it's hard to explain.

 

[sadmoongaze]

Yes, well done! And i too would like to know more about you.

I know people who have said 'i want to give up' and 'dont want to be here' but are at the moment doing ok. There is always hope even if it doesnt feel like there is at the moment.

Can i just ask, what evidence do you have that suggests you aren't worthy of love and acceptance? Have you done something wrong? Committed a crime? Made a mistake that negatively impacted someone? Do you have a history of taking delight in other people's pain?

If your answer is none of the above then there is no reason you should be unworthy of being loved and accepted.

I have done things wrong, and I have done things that have negatively impacted someone else's life. So I suppose then that yes, those are reasons I am not worth love and acceptance. But it also comes from the many rejections I have experienced. Some I can say I played a part in. But others just felt like being nice was considered a bad thing. And yes, I feel pretty much a coward for wanting to give up but not going through with it.

 

[user 150037]

I have done things wrong, and I have done things that have negatively impacted someone else's life. So I suppose then that yes, those are reasons I am not worth love and acceptance. But it also comes from the many rejections I have experienced. Some I can say I played a part in. But others just felt like being nice was considered a bad thing. And yes, I feel pretty much a coward for wanting to give up but not going through with it.

I hope you dont mind me asking what it is you feel guilty about doing?

 

[okidoke]

I guess that's the thing, it's not easy to the point it just feels meaningless. Like, I can put myself out there or be willing to, and just get little to nothing in return.

It's hard to share a lot about myself but I have felt more or less alone nearly my entire life. There is definitely things I can work on within myself, but I don't have a lot of control when it comes to others accepting me. Sorry, it's hard to explain.

We don’t have ANY control of the way others view us or accept us. Forget about trying to impress people in any way. Just do things that give you some pleasure. If you can’t feel pleasure over anything, then you have a condition that may require medication or other therapy. Think about this; if tomorrow a person came into your life, what would keep them to you? You need to become what others are interested and attracted to. Yes, you need to work on yourself. We all do to some degree. As for punishing yourself for past wrongdoings, if you got away with a crime and can’t live with it, perhaps confessing may be a step forward. If it isn’t as serious as a crime, then you’ve probably punished yourself enough already. That also may take therapy. The other party has probably moved on and lived their life without thinking if you anymore. I speak from a similar perspective.

And you ended with another sorry for no reason. It’s hard to explain because you’ve probably never really sat down and mulled over your situation, written it down for yourself, to analyse. If you were going to see a therapist, you need to know how to express what troubles you. Untangle your thoughts, address each problem, work on each one.

 

[sadmoongaze]

We don’t have ANY control of the way others view us or accept us. Forget about trying to impress people in any way. Just do things that give you some pleasure. If you can’t feel pleasure over anything, then you have a condition that may require medication or other therapy. Think about this; if tomorrow a person came into your life, what would keep them to you? You need to become what others are interested and attracted to. Yes, you need to work on yourself. We all do to some degree. As for punishing yourself for past wrongdoings, if you got away with a crime and can’t live with it, perhaps confessing may be a step forward. If it isn’t as serious as a crime, then you’ve probably punished yourself enough already. That also may take therapy. The other party has probably moved on and lived their life without thinking if you anymore. I speak from a similar perspective.

And you ended with another sorry for no reason. It’s hard to explain because you’ve probably never really sat down and mulled over your situation, written it down for yourself, to analyse. If you were going to see a therapist, you need to know how to express what troubles you. Untangle your thoughts, address each problem, work on each one.

I didn't do anything criminal, but I feel guilt and shame no less. I do talk to a therapist and I am currently working on talking about alot of the most painful stuff with her. It's hard and I honestly don't know if it will really accomplish anything. And yeah, I get others have moved on, but that really doesn't help me.

And I know saying sorry may not always be a good thing, but it's a habit and honestly, I would rather be apologetic then someone who isn't. I think there are too many of the latter in this world as it is.

 

[sadmoongaze]

I hope you dont mind me asking what it is you feel guilty about doing?

It's hard to get into. I just feel bad about not always being a good son or person in general. It often feels like my wrongs are more set in stone then they are with others.

 

[okidoke]

I didn't do anything criminal, but I feel guilt and shame no less. I do talk to a therapist and I am currently working on talking about alot of the most painful stuff with her. It's hard and I honestly don't know if it will really accomplish anything. And yeah, I get others have moved on, but that really doesn't help me.

And I know saying sorry may not always be a good thing, but it's a habit and honestly, I would rather be apologetic then someone who isn't. I think there are too many of the latter in this world as it is.

yeah but you should only apologise for things you do wrong that causes someone a negativity of some sort. throwing around sorries is unnecessary and meaningless and only exposes your own inadequacies.

PS I hate my life too

 

[sadmoongaze]

yeah but you should only apologise for things you do wrong that causes someone a negativity of some sort. throwing around sorries is unnecessary and meaningless and only exposes your own inadequacies.

PS I hate my life too

You know, I'm really trying to get where you're coming from, but with all due respect, you know very little about me but you've assumed some things about me that isn't really fair. Right now, I have a lot on my plate and I don't know what to do or how to handle it. I hear what you're saying, but then I have others saying the opposite and it's like I'm in a rope in some kind of tug of war or something.

Also, in one of your post, you said to forget what others think, but then say how I need to become what others are interested in and attracted to. That seems somewhat contradicting. Honestly, I hate feeling like I'm supposed to change so much. As I said, I have made efforts to work on myself and it never feels like it's enough and you know...that's just so demoralizing. I mean it just goes beyond hating life. You just start questioning the point of even trying,and I just don't anymore. I want to throw my sobriety, my job, just everything away. And yet, here I am...in my job's parking lot trying to ready myself for another day. Why though? I just feel really overwhelmed and out of sorts right now. Not saying sorry or playing chess as someone else had suggested just feels kind of arbitrary. And yeah, I can take it or leave it with what you're saying. But I also said, I'm trying to understand where you're coming from, along with other people who say other things. And I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about ant of this. I just know I feel really lost and hopeless right now.

 

[okidoke]

You know, I'm really trying to get where you're coming from, but with all due respect, you know very little about me but you've assumed some things about me that isn't really fair. Right now, I have a lot on my plate and I don't know what to do or how to handle it. I hear what you're saying, but then I have others saying the opposite and it's like I'm in a rope in some kind of tug of war or something.

Also, in one of your post, you said to forget what others think, but then say how I need to become what others are interested in and attracted to. That seems somewhat contradicting. Honestly, I hate feeling like I'm supposed to change so much. As I said, I have made efforts to work on myself and it never feels like it's enough and you know...that's just so demoralizing. I mean it just goes beyond hating life. You just start questioning the point of even trying,and I just don't anymore. I want to throw my sobriety, my job, just everything away. And yet, here I am...in my job's parking lot trying to ready myself for another day. Why though? I just feel really overwhelmed and out of sorts right now. Not saying sorry or playing chess as someone else had suggested just feels kind of arbitrary. And yeah, I can take it or leave it with what you're saying. But I also said, I'm trying to understand where you're coming from, along with other people who say other things. And I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about ant of this. I just know I feel really lost and hopeless right now.

I haven't assumed anything about you. You haven't said much about yourself, so I'm keeping things broad. I said forget about trying to impress people, but if you want to attract people, then you need to work on yourself on the things that do attract people - that's two different things. I don't know how old you are, but I understand what you're trying to cope with as I've been dealing with the same things for decades. Life is a struggle. I'm really struggling right now. I'm sick of life, I see nothing worthwhile to live for, I can't get a job, a haven't got the friend I need, or a partner that I want, and so on and so forth. I struggle to think of a reason to get out of bed in the morning. I wonder why I'm even on this forum anymore. The longer you leave it, the harder it is to change. I'm 56 and feel like it's all over and fruitless for me. Do something now to improve your life before it's too late.

 

[TropicalStarfish]

You know, I'm really trying to get where you're coming from, but with all due respect, you know very little about me but you've assumed some things about me that isn't really fair. Right now, I have a lot on my plate and I don't know what to do or how to handle it. I hear what you're saying, but then I have others saying the opposite and it's like I'm in a rope in some kind of tug of war or something.

Also, in one of your post, you said to forget what others think, but then say how I need to become what others are interested in and attracted to. That seems somewhat contradicting. Honestly, I hate feeling like I'm supposed to change so much. As I said, I have made efforts to work on myself and it never feels like it's enough and you know...that's just so demoralizing. I mean it just goes beyond hating life. You just start questioning the point of even trying,and I just don't anymore. I want to throw my sobriety, my job, just everything away. And yet, here I am...in my job's parking lot trying to ready myself for another day. Why though? I just feel really overwhelmed and out of sorts right now. Not saying sorry or playing chess as someone else had suggested just feels kind of arbitrary. And yeah, I can take it or leave it with what you're saying. But I also said, I'm trying to understand where you're coming from, along with other people who say other things. And I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about ant of this. I just know I feel really lost and hopeless right now.

@sadmoongaze A lot of us are having a very difficult time... We all deal with it differently. Some folks have more of a, 'let's fix this,' attitude; while others take a more nurturing approach, like a gardener.

Just take things one step at a time.

Unfortunately this isn't the wise, intelligent, and philosophical life forums. We're just lonely folks; for a variety of different reasons, with a variety of different circumstances, temperaments, etc..

Acute and severe suffering can be difficult to deal with. Be patient, if you can.

 

[isthatso]

Sorry, I don't post on here often. I have been feel more and more hopeless as of late. My life just feels so worthless and it hurts to not be worth love and acceptance. I have tried to better myself such as being five and a half years sober from alcohol, but none of feels like it matters. I am tired of pushing myself in vain. I want to give up.

You say life is a struggle? And I totally agree.
Gotta have hope, even when you feel hopeless.
Me personally ,I'm trying to find hope by joining a Christian Church. No guarantee of success. But I'm desperate.
Write down a list of options. Cross them out when you've tried it.

 

[isthatso]

It's hard to get into. I just feel bad about not always being a good son or person in general. It often feels like my wrongs are more set in stone then they are with others.

Can relate to what you are saying. Maybe we could help you better if you gave us more detail.

 

[isthatso]

, but I don't have a lot of control when it comes to others accepting me. Sorry, it's hard to explain.

So don't try and control what others think of you.
I'm guessing your problem might be self esteem related. We can't rely on others to like us. Strangely, the more we accept ourselves, the more others will like us anyway. Self rejection is a foreshadowing of others rejecting us .

 

[sadmoongaze]

I haven't assumed anything about you. You haven't said much about yourself, so I'm keeping things broad. I said forget about trying to impress people, but if you want to attract people, then you need to work on yourself on the things that do attract people - that's two different things. I don't know how old you are, but I understand what you're trying to cope with as I've been dealing with the same things for decades. Life is a struggle. I'm really struggling right now. I'm sick of life, I see nothing worthwhile to live for, I can't get a job, a haven't got the friend I need, or a partner that I want, and so on and so forth. I struggle to think of a reason to get out of bed in the morning. I wonder why I'm even on this forum anymore. The longer you leave it, the harder it is to change. I'm 56 and feel like it's all over and fruitless for me. Do something now to improve your life before it's too late.

I'm not at your age yet, but it feels like it's too late for me to improve no less. Some people say it's not, others say it is. I am sorry for your struggles ( and yes, I think this is fair to say sorry in this context). I saw someone in another place like this mention how when they were 15 people would say to them not to give up and that it gets better. Well, they're not in their 50's and was asking if that was still the case for them. I get where you're coming from or I want to as best as I can. And I want to try to keep going. But it feels like things are just rigged for failure for some of us. But I would like to believe that it isn't too late for you.

 

[sadmoongaze]

So don't try and control what others think of you.
I'm guessing your problem might be self esteem related. We can't rely on others to like us. Strangely, the more we accept ourselves, the more others will like us anyway. Self rejection is a foreshadowing of others rejecting us .

It's not that I'm trying to control anyone. That's not what I'm saying. And maybe you're right, but I think a good part of ones self esteem comes from being accepted by others. Unless I'm supposed to believe everyone else is totally secure and okay with themselves all the time.

 

[sadmoongaze]

@sadmoongaze A lot of us are having a very difficult time... We all deal with it differently. Some folks have more of a, 'let's fix this,' attitude; while others take a more nurturing approach, like a gardener.

Just take things one step at a time.

Unfortunately this isn't the wise, intelligent, and philosophical life forums. We're just lonely folks; for a variety of different reasons, with a variety of different circumstances, temperaments, etc..

Acute and severe suffering can be difficult to deal with. Be patient, if you can.

Yes, I'm sorry if I have come off defensive at times. Trying to open up about this stuff is hard and I've had negative experiences doing so before. I will do my best to more open and patient.

 

[August Campbell]

I'm trying to find hope by joining a Christian Church. No guarantee of success.

Now that You mention Christianity, what disturbs me about that religion is that they insist that Homosexuals go to Hell to be punished forever. Not all the Christians, though, it's about 50%. The other 50% are accepting of homosexuals. For example, the Presbyterians are quite accepting. So hopefully you find the denomination that's accepting and compassionate.