Have I lost Her?

[Badjedidude]

Honesty and open communication = win.

----Steve

 

[AFrozenSoul]

Well I was open with her... but I was to late. Maybe I will have another chance some other day.

Thread closed.

 

[Badjedidude]

The important thing is that you tried. I know it took some guts and it doesn't seem right now like you got anything in return....but give it some time to settle. If she doesn't think about it a bit and change her attitude, then at least you got things into the open and you can't worry about it anymore.

Things will get better or they will remain how they are....and you KNOW that for a fact now. That would certainly make me feel better! And now you also have some experience, as well as some know-how so you can do it a little better next time. So I'd say you did fine, man.

----Steve

 

[AFrozenSoul]

Yeah well she said if things don't work out, she would give me another chance. Guess I can just hope for that to happen. God knows I cannot meet women on my own.

 

[Phaedron]

Yeah well she said if things don't work out, she would give me another chance. Guess I can just hope for that to happen. God knows I cannot meet women on my own.

Yeah, but that just makes you her backup guy... If things do go bad she might get with you for a bit... till she finds someone else she likes. Cause then you'll be her backup man again...

No... tell her you're moving on too, and will try to find someone else... Even if you turn around and don't look for anyone else...

Then if things don't work out with him, tell her you tried to date someone and things didn't work out either, and it will seem like fate has decreed you be together, or what a coincidence...

Just don't resolve to play the backup guy... Trust me, it won't help...

 

[VanillaCreme]

Yeah well she said if things don't work out, she would give me another chance. Guess I can just hope for that to happen. God knows I cannot meet women on my own.

Yeah, but that just makes you her backup guy... If things do go bad she might get with you for a bit... till she finds someone else she likes. Cause then you'll be her backup man again...

No... tell her you're moving on too, and will try to find someone else... Even if you turn around and don't look for anyone else...

Then if things don't work out with him, tell her you tried to date someone and things didn't work out either, and it will seem like fate has decreed you be together, or what a coincidence...

Just don't resolve to play the backup guy... Trust me, it won't help...

I agree with this. Being the "backup" isn't a good thing. It's almost like "If no one else I meet now is good enough, you'll do." Settling isn't good.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

I did tell her that I do not know what my future will hold for me as far as dating is concerned. I guess if you count joining a couple of dating sites as trying to date then yeah I guess I can go that route. But I do not want to lie to her anymore. 3 years of me not being honest with myself put me in this position. If I had only been this honest a couple months ago this never would have happened... hell if I had given the whole dating thing a try when she first asked me 2 years ago...

Sometimes I just feel like I am nothing but a back up guy... the guy people only want when they are alone. Sometimes I think that is all I am really good for... being a girls love life-preserver.

I can I ask how I can notice if her other relationship is not going well? What do I do when she asks me for advice on her relationship? I do not want to lose my chance again...