Have you ever felt that you weren't good enough for yourself?

[African_weasel]

Because until you've been in my place, don't assume you know anything about what's happened in my life.

I wish I could just say that to someone who think they know everything about me.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I like to fill in the time between knitting sweaters and boxing by being a professional tap dancer. It's extremely difficult to do all at once, but I manage it.

 

[EveWasFramed]

^ Ditto.

Ditto too.

3rd ditto!

Ditto 4

So, you guys just sit and wait for succes to come falling from the sky? Want another cup of tea?

Opportunities are not ALWAYS readily available. I think what Vanilla means is that sometimes you just do the best you can until an opportunity comes along to do something better. Sometimes those opportunities are self-made and sometimes they aren't.

 

[Locke]

Opportunities are not ALWAYS readily available. I think what Vanilla means is that sometimes you just do the best you can until an opportunity comes along to do something better. Sometimes those opportunities are self-made and sometimes they aren't.

I agree. Sometimes people get kind of stuck in a situation: Maybe they are in a job they don't like but can't leave, or maybe they're stuck living with or taking care of relatives. Or maybe something else.

honeysuckle happens. Sometimes all you can do is wait patiently for circumstances to change, and be ready when they do.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

To be serious, that is exactly what people do. They just get by.

Life isn't always pretty, and it shouldn't be. People are made up of both light AND darkness. Facing both head on is part of being human.

 

[Azariah]

Yes I have. I just learned to accept myself for who I am, accept the world, accept the good and the bad.

Life is a gift, accept it, don't reject it.

If you reject it.... then... you'll never see Heaven.

 

[ladyforsaken]

Opportunities are not ALWAYS readily available. I think what Vanilla means is that sometimes you just do the best you can until an opportunity comes along to do something better. Sometimes those opportunities are self-made and sometimes they aren't.

I agree. Sometimes people get kind of stuck in a situation: Maybe they are in a job they don't like but can't leave, or maybe they're stuck living with or taking care of relatives. Or maybe something else.

honeysuckle happens. Sometimes all you can do is wait patiently for circumstances to change, and be ready when they do.

I was trying to think of a better way to put it. I guess yesterday was my low point and I just couldn't come up with words to explain.. but what both Eve and Locke said - exactly.

 

[MTrip]

It's almost like a Mitch Hedberg joke.

He was awesome.

He was talented, definitely.

"I love my Fedex guy 'cause he's a drug dealer and he don't even know it...and he's always on time." Stoner wit!

 

[Mike510]

Every time I go home after work, change clothes, I get this feeling that I could be more. After work, I feel like a empty shell of a person when I change into whatever I feel like in this case, a knit sweater and skinny jeans. I thought about leaning a new martial art, kung fu. Hopefully, to fill in the places that are empty. Personally, I like non-fire arm weaponry, makes me feel unique knowing I wouldn't need something that's really destructive. I also want to learn a style that incorporates take downs and joint manipulation like sambo. So what do you guys think?

I have always felt like I should be more than I am. I am having trouble find a job, girlfriend, even a solid roof over my head. I just felt like this point of my life would be better.

 

[TheSkaFish]

Yes, all the time.

Sometimes I feel like I am untalented and can't do anything, and I was cursed with just enough intelligence to realize this. I'm afraid I'm not physically strong enough and don't have the "sixth sense" for machines, for the trades, but also don't have enough intelligence for the professions, and don't have the creative enough mind for anything artistic, etc. I'm afraid all I'm suited to be is a "nothing", even though that's exactly what I don't want to be.

Other times I think more clearly and feel like, that's my old story talking, from when I was in elementary school and was just guessing how things worked based on what I observed and I could have been wrong about it this whole time, I AM at least as smart as an average person, and my fear of failure, as well as a grudge against the "cool kids"/"society" people/"achievers" and feeling like I'm not like them both biologically and subconsciously, has influenced me to underperform my potential. And I've also had other phobias and other issues that kind of, take my mind for a ride, causing me to make all kinds of emotional (rather than rational) decisions based on panic, instead of on facts and information.

I'm so afraid that if I get any resistance at anything, it is a sign I'm untalented at it, and will soon hit a wall where I can learn no more at whatever thing it is, be it physical, mental, creative, etc.

But, yeah. I've been in this limbo between feeling I can't be more, while also really wanting to be more. I need to get specific, and do it.

 

[birchwood]

@TheSkaFish, I wanted to apologise you for my post. You'll know which one I mean. I didn't mean to criticise and hurt you back then. Really. It was neither well thought through or well worded. Just another example of my poor communication skills. I was in a bad mood but that's not an excuse.

I can see that you've been struggling for a long time. It's heartbreaking. Have you ever thought about having some sort of assessment? I went to a CBT therapist to have a simple chat and it helped enormously.

 

[TheSkaFish]

@TheSkaFish, I wanted to apologise you for my post. You'll know which one I mean. I didn't mean to criticise and hurt you back then. Really. It was neither well thought through or well worded. Just another example of my poor communication skills. I was in a bad mood but that's not an excuse.

I can see that you've been struggling for a long time. It's heartbreaking. Have you ever thought about having some sort of assessment? I went to a CBT therapist to have a simple chat and it helped enormously.

Hey, thanks man (I think? not sure, lol). It's OK though.

At the time I was angry, but at the same time, you're also not really wrong either. I'm not a victim in the sense of, I'm not from a war-torn country, or even a bad neighborhood. And I haven't been abused or anything. There were some issues with a**holes growing up, but other than that, I didn't really experience abuse in any real sense. There are times where, I don't know. Maybe I do need to get tougher with myself. I mean, I know on some level that only I can figure this out for myself and I need to just do it.

Still, I have been becoming more and more aware that my background is in fact dysfunctional - and has become even more so over time. It's just not the obvious kind like drinking, drugs, or crime, though. This, plus having a hard time finding direction in life due to feeling like I have worse traits that make me worse at everything than everyone else/fears of being unable to meaningfully improve, let alone succeed at anything, and worse than I've felt I should be if I really am the kind of person that belongs doing a particular thing, have caused me to have lifelong issues with anger, depression, personality/identity, and feelings of inferiority - which I'm sure have also affected me in the relationship area of life as well. I never felt that great about myself.

I've been trying to untangle all this myself. I have lengthy notepad docs I've written to myself. I guess I've kind of been my own therapist. The older I get, the more I feel like it's really important for me to resolve this, I don't want to go my whole life under the weight of this narrative. I don't want to live down to what people treated me like I was, or felt like I was myself. I want to escape my family's (and my own) dysfunction and not make the same mistakes, but I also want to be an interesting person.

Anyway. It's forgiven, nothing to worry about.
How was the CBT session? What did you do, and how do you felt it helped, if you don't mind sharing?

 

[birchwood]

@TheSkaFish, thank you. Regarding abuse and trauma, it's often small seemingly unimportant things that lead to deep wounds. It's especially true in neurodiverse people. I'm not saying that you are (I wouldn't be surprised if you were though) but wounds inflicted and not healed in childhood affect us later regardless. I didn't have a bad childhood but I'm still scarred.

I've read many of your posts here and on another forum. I'm puzzled. I wish I was able to offer some advice but I have no idea what you're fighting with. I can see that you are suffering. Again, I'm really sorry for my previous post. It wasn't in a bad faith but I see how harsh it sounded. I hate hurting people but still say stupid and hurtful things.

The CBT appointment was good. It's funny how much one can learn in one hour. I was basically diagnosed with social anxiety and offered a treatment but I don't think it's my biggest issue at the moment. I've had it for years but I could cope with it. At the moment, I don't have energy to do it anymore and other problems seem to affect me on a more fundamental level. I'm floating. I'm fine in a sense but I'm worried about the future and will likely go private as soon as I can force myself to deal with the necessary paperwork.

I hope you'll find some answers soon. Best wishes