Hello from here

[migima]

Hello, I'm new here so let say a few words about why I'm here.
First, sorry for spelling mistakes and grammar errors, if I make one, I'm not so good in english, but I'll give my best ...

I am lonely, that's why I'm here. I have some girlfriends and friends from my mountaineering club (I like to hike), but, the feeling when you come home, and nobody is there, is frustrating. I'm 48 years old, divorced, no kids, and for almost 5 years no serious relationship.
I'm not ugly or stupid, but I still can't find somebody interesting who will share interests with me.
Maybe in my age is impossible to find decent man to be with, and who is, the most important, free, and willing to be in relationship with a woman.
I don't know is it problem in my town (Rijeka), my country (Croatia) or me. Yes, I'm a little different, but I'm ok person. I like to smile, I'm honest and open person, don't have troubles with comunication, have lot of interests and so on.
But I can't find interesting, solo and well-preserved free man arround me, who are not at least 20 years younger than me.
Yes, they want me, but only for ... you know.

So, I hope to find here maybe some interesting free guys who are looking for free women for relationship.

I tried every possible dating site, which I can afford, but no results, no serious ones. Dating sites in my country are so miserable. The guys on them. I tried international ones also, but there are lot of liers, and man who do nothing.

I think that lonelines is modern desease, and I don't like that. It seems that lot of people are alone and lonely, and I can't believe when somebody says that he is content to be alone - no partner in life.

So, this is my reason to come here, in short words.

Hello to everybody!

 

[TheRealCallie]

Welcome to ALL, feel free to try out the chat room

I can't believe when somebody says that he is content to be alone - no partner in life.

I think it's more about how you look at life. If you are focusing on other things, yeah, it will be almost impossible to be content, but if you focus on yourself and what you want to do and be, it won't phase you as much.

I don't have a partner and I'm content. I'm not looking and I don't need or want a man in my life right now. There's too much drama already, I don't need or want to add more. So yeah, I'm perfectly content being single.

 

[Punisher]

Hi migima. Hope you find someone

 

[migima]

There's too much drama already, I don't need or want to add more. So yeah, I'm perfectly content being single.

Lucky you! I'm not yet in that phase.

---

Hi migima. Hope you find someone

Eh, thanks, but I think I lose all hope already. :/

 

[h3donist]

Greetings I'm new too, so just finding my way round this site.

 

[PenDragon]

Hello migima, welcome

 

[constant stranger]

Hello, from USA migima. I'm a bit older than many of the other members too....62 this year and the people in my life I know through an organization as well....a university extension, volunteer group....we do gardening in public spaces and educational services.

As to you skills with English, be content: you use the language better than many Americans.

 

[wolvesjr]

Drago mi je!

My grandfather was originally from the Karlovac area (before coming to the USA) and he taught me to read and speak Croatian when I was growing up (though I am WAY out of practice after ~20 years).

I hope you have a wonderful time here Migima.

 

[migima]

Drago mi je!
My grandfather was originally from the Karlovac area (before coming to the USA) and he taught me to read and speak Croatian when I was growing up (though I am WAY out of practice after ~20 years).
I hope you have a wonderful time here Migima.

Really?
O yes, lot of Croatian people are all around world.
And thank you!

---

Hello, from USA migima. I'm a bit older than many of the other members too....62 this year and the people in my life I know through an organization as well....a university extension, volunteer group....we do gardening in public spaces and educational services.

As to you skills with English, be content: you use the language better than many Americans.

Nice. I have lot of thing to do in my life also, and I'm doing a lot of thing - I'm a leader of high mountaineering group (don't know if I said it correctly) in our mountaineering associatin, I work in school, I do souvenirs during summer and sell them, I also do art (I'm an academic sculptor), I do things at home, I have garden at home .... BUT ... I'm so lonely. I miss a partner in my life, I can't help myself, I miss a man.

Ha, ha, and that for language, they said to me same before. Ok, it is ok when I write, but when I have to speak, oh, you should hear.
Thank you very much.

---

Greetings I'm new too, so just finding my way round this site.

O Hedonist , you are the one with wife who are feeling lonely? Well, it is awfull when it happen so, but it's happening. So, there are no help but to be content with yourself. Eh, I'm still learning that.

---

Hello migima, welcome

Thx

 

[Brightshadow]

Hi Migima, welcome to ALL!

I think I can understand your feelings very well, because I’m in the same boat…
Though for me the worst part is to stay childless. But to merry without love (or at least deep sympathy) is not an option for me.

Some ideas:

1) Since profile pictures are probably by far the most important part in dating sites nowdays (just look how OKC search results look like), review your pictures, especially the main one that appears in search results. If you can make a better picture – delete your old profile, create a new one and put there the best picture you can. (Alternatively you can just change the main profile picture, especially if there is no option to search just for newest profiles or order results by join date. Besides, there is always at least a small risk that deleting and creating a profile again causes some problem.)

2) Probably it’ll be difficult for you since you have a good life in your country/city, but depending on how important it is for you to improve your chances to find a partner – consider a relocation. It’s possible that in some other country you would have more luck. Joining international dating sites may be not good enough, because the most people look for partners just in their country. Some sites don't even offer the option to search in multiple countries. There are people who generally wouldn’t mind to look for a partner in other counties, but with such a long countries list they just don’t bother to select them one by one and search. Thus living in a relatively small country could be a notable disadvantage.

 

[migima]

Hi Migima, welcome to ALL!

I think I can understand your feelings very well, because I’m in the same boat…
Though for me the worst part is to stay childless. But to merry without love (or at least deep sympathy) is not an option for me.

Some ideas:
...

Thank you very much for your tips, but, as you concluded by yourself, it is difficult to live in a small county, and small town. My town has about 150.000 inhabitants, not so small, but, here I cant find really nothing. In our capital, Zagreb is little better, but ...
I tried the international sites, but as you said, nobody want partners from otuside. Well, people which usually contact me, are quite uninteresting for me. So I practicaly quit dating sites.
If I meet somebody really interesting somewhere, I would think about relocation, why not, I'm not so crazy about my country. But it will be better that it is still Europe, USA is too far, and eastern countries don't interest me very much.
And about photos in datig site profiles, you will be surprised, but people here mostly dont want to put photos online, they are quite strange, I don't like such people. As I said, our dating sites suck.

 

[constant stranger]

Well it's very unfair Migima, that a suitable man seems to be unavailable. I say this because you seem like a very interesting person to know. Being a sculptress, maker of souvenirs, a gardener and mountaineer........I'd think there would be many things to talk about.

Also, Rijeka is a big, cosmopolitan seaport with many diverse people....at least in my perspective. I live in the heart of the USA prairie farm country....comparable to Ukraine maybe, I'm not sure....with a small population. My village has 75 residents.

However, I don't walk in your shoes and don't have answers for you. But I hope to hear more from you on this forum.

 

[migima]

Well it's very unfair Migima, that a suitable man seems to be unavailable. I say this because you seem like a very interesting person to know. Being a sculptress, maker of souvenirs, a gardener and mountaineer........I'd think there would be many things to talk about ...

Thank you Stranger for your kind words.
I think also that I'm a person you can talk with about various things, and not onky talk, but the problem is that I'm looking for similar guy, and I have problem to find somebody even a little like that. My last potential guys were unable to think or speak about anything interesting, unable to speak at all. I very often hear from guys:"I don't know what to tell you".
And sorry, that's not my kind of guy.
We can be in silence, but, to not be able to make conversations at all and share interests, that is quite boring.
And that seaport stuff, it is not like you think might be, it is not any help. There is not so much different people. When you go to town or in bar always or the same, or too young, or uninteresting people. As I said, when I go to Zagreb for example, our capital, there I always see somebody who at least catch my attention. But ... there is no time or oportunity for anything more because I'm just passing there and lately I don't go often in Zagreb.

Willage with 75 residents? Vau, so small. So how is your life there? Do you have wife and family?

 

[constant stranger]

No wife for me Migima. My family? One of us has always had mental health, mood disorders and the rest of them escaped in various ways, from responsibility. There are two brothers who do not visit and our father is dead. So there is only the youngest boy me, and my 92 year old, slightly crazy mother.

It's not so bad.....I have the family farm and the property our house is on.....plenty of room for any hobbies I want to pursue.

Also, I did have my own life for awhile......university and some years on my own until age 30.

Also, we didn't always live here: Dad's career was with an airline and I grew up in the British colony of Hong Kong. Those were good years. But the first 17 years of my life....outside of America....are so far outside the frame of reference to local people, that it's become a subject that I no longer speak of. And it's in the past anyway. If I wish to dwell on my Hong Kong years, I can go to facebook groups of old HK'ers, some of whom I knew personally back then.

Village of 75? Yes, but there is also a city of 20,000 ten miles away. So, they have a hospital, a library, a small airport, a 4 year college of about 1,000 students and shops etc etc.

An old country like Croatia in a region with a turbulent history sounds fascinating to me. Is it the most ordinary thing to live in a city with a citadel from ancient times on its hillside? Are there architectural reminders of the Turks? Venice claimed Croatia a few centuries ago, or am I misinformed? And there was some more recent unpleasantness too........

I hope I do not give offense.....in USA we are accustomed to a soft life, something that may change in the 21st century.

 

[shadetree]

Bok Migima and welcome to ALL. I had a friend from croatia i used to talk to online a good bit but unfortunately all i ever learned of the language was how to say hello lol. Anyway just wanted to take a minute to welcome you to the community, hope you find it helpful being here. As far as what you were talking about looking for a certain kind of guy, i find that i run into that in what "should" be a simple thing, when looking for friends as well, but it turns out its not, so i can relate in some ways.

You know i dont know if youve ever seen the ted talks or not but i stumbled on this sort of interesting article about online dating. You might find it interesting. Its about this lady who sort of tweaked the dating system to work for her and she found the guy she was looking for and has been happily married a few years now. I dont know if itll be any help but its still an interesting thing.

https://www.ted.com/talks/amy_webb_how_i_hacked_online_dating?language=en

Anyway you seem like a nice person and i hope you find what youre looking for. Welcome to the site

 

[migima]

No wife for me Migima. My family? One of us has always had mental health, mood disorders and the rest of them escaped in various ways, from responsibility. There are two brothers who do not visit and our father is dead. So there is only the youngest boy me, and my 92 year old, slightly crazy mother ...

Oh, what a story, with your familly. But it's ok that you have place to live and work, and more important, will for all that.
And how old are you?
It's strange that almost nobody here don't want to write their age in profile, nor put picture.
For me, it's not bad to live in a small town or village, but, the problem is when you are alone, at least it is problem for me. If I have a boyfriend, I would like to live in a smaller town.

Yes, it is very common to have citadel on the top of the hill here. You are right. In Rijeka, we have Trsat castle. It has been in use from Roman days. Frankopan family bulid it up.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trsat_Castle
http://www.rijeka.hr/lgs.axd?t=16&id=19949

Architectural reminders of the Turks? Not very much here in Croatia, there are more in Bosnia and Herzegovina.

Rijeka (old part) is all mostly in Austro-Hungarian architectural style, during their rule they build up most of beautiful bulidings. I think it was the best period in history for Rijeka. Today, nothing is so good as from that period. The older part of Rijeka is of course in older style, medieval.

Rijeka in 1689.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/9/9a/Rijeka_Trsat_grafika_1207.JPG

And that about Venice ... uh ... sorry, but I'm not so good in history, I should read the Google. But it is something like that.

Why should I be offended? No way. I know all that.

---

Bok Migima and welcome to ALL.
...
Anyway you seem like a nice person and i hope you find what youre looking for. Welcome to the site

Bok Shadetree. He, he!
I didn't see Ted talks maybe, but I read other articles, I know all that, but, here is problem - lack of good quality man.
And I'm quite selective.
And - I'm maybe too old for being able to have lot of choices.
I met lot of people from Croatian dating sites, but, nothing was interesting at all, or for some reason finished very fast. The men here are very frightened, as I see.
It happened once that I met one guy, from Austria, another country, and I liked him a lot, he had similar interests and so on, we even met once, but, than nothing. He lied to me. He wasn't free. He was only a gamer.
So, that's my luck.

 

[lonelyfairy]

Welcome to the forum.

 

[migima]

Welcome to the forum.

Thx.

 

[ssj39]

Hello, migima! Hope you find what you are looking for!

 

[constant stranger]

Oh, what a story, with your familly. But it's ok that you have place to live and work, and more important, will for all that.
And how old are you?
It's strange that almost nobody here don't want to write their age in profile, nor put picture.
For me, it's not bad to live in a small town or village, but, the problem is when you are alone, at least it is problem for me. If I have a boyfriend, I would like to live in a smaller town.

I'll be 62 this year. But I still feel like 25, inside. "Who's that old guy in the photograph?" Is what I think when I see a picture of myself.

I posted a few pics on this site shortly after I joined.....I suppose I should figure out again,how it's done. My tech skills aren't that good.

I'm become accustomed to being alone, without any close relationships of any kind. No girlfriend for 30 years or so. The reasons are complicated, but it was a bad decision and now, after all these years, a difficult habit to change back again.

Village, small town or big city? There are advantages and disadvantages to everything. I grew up in a big, international seaport city and loved it. Now, my village has about 25 houses and I wouldn't live anywhere else.






A to the site