Hezekiah's Thread Of Insanity (Update)

[Tiina63]

It is hard. You clearly want a relationship otherwise you wouldn't be asking the question.
I have been hurt/rejected a lot, and find that it is so difficult to trust and to open myself to the possibility of being hurt again. But at the same time loneliness hurts so much as well that I know I will take the risk again. I feel two opposing forces in me-one wants to throw myself headlong into a relationship and the other wants to take it really slowly so that I could back out if it goes bad before I have invested a lot emotionally in it so that the pain will be less. It is a difficult question you are asking,a nd one which I ponder a lot.

 

[LoneKiller]

Actually, I like being single now. I created this thread for those who are afraid to love again.

 

[Poguesy]

Everyone's been hurt in a relationship.

I don't understand why people dwell on this. It's a part of life.

 

[LoneKiller]

Everyone's been hurt in a relationship.

I don't understand why people dwell on this. It's a part of life.

True.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I dont believe everyone had been hurt in relationships....
Even though I had.lol

I think it's just a part of our self presevations of being human
or the type of spicy that we are. That thing call PAIN.
When I put my hands in a fire...It Hurts. So I dont wanna stick
my hand in the freaken fire again. Its about as normal and natural
as Im going be. Its my basic instink or nature to protect myself
from pains or hurt.

And another part of being human that's built into me is a desire
to mate. To be a part of. And thats about as normal as Im going to be too.
That thing call HONEY.lol

It's like a mind ****...and Im suppose to use logic.
So when I see a women...both of my instinct kicks in at the sametime.
I wanna **** her and leave her , at the sametime.

Then mother fuckers wanna throw in moral and values with
guilt and shame to **** up my head and emotions even more.lol

When I got back with Sassy. She hurted me alot alot the first
time, second time, third time and forth time.LOL

I'LL BET YA....Nobody had their heart stab by the same woman 5 mother fucken times in a life time.
Sassy must be one amazing woman.lol

Yeah it was like...I work through letting go of all my mental and
emotional baggages...forgive , forget ...ect
Bacailly I everytime I try with her..Im starting from a blank piece of paper.

Ive been in serval long term relationships.
And bascailly that's the state mind and heart Im in.
I start a new life...A new beginning everytime.
It donst matter if Sassy comes back to me and we start again
or I start again with somebody else.
I start with a brand new slat.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I've been hurt by girls/women, and never been in a relationship.

I know it's not the same thing, but I definitely feel like not trying.

 

[VanillaCreme]

See, this is where I have to say, for myself, I didn't create anything. What I have now, it all just happened. Yeah, I can joke about it and say that I made him mine, and I wasn't going to let him go. But truth be told, I wasn't looking, and I didn't even want anything. I know that's not the case for everyone, but I also know that a lot of people don't believe that it can just happen. It does. Not everything has to be planned out and fabricated.

I was hurt from my ex, for the simple fact that I found out our entire two year relationship was basically a lie, and he was telling everyone he didn't have anyone. He actually told me that he didn't want anyone to know, so I wasn't supposed to tell anyone. He cheated and lied the whole time, so there was a reason why I wasn't looking at all. But things just happen.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

At the end of it all or A new beginning....

I'll simply just love like Ive never hurted before.
I trust as if Ive nevered been lied to, stolen form or cheated on.
I love deeply and enjoy the good times and breath in every moment of it.

The reason why I'm like this is becuase....
One of my HS GF died and someone else later on in life that loves
me very much also died. They went out of my life just the same.
Not becuase our relationship was bad or they were untrusty people.
It hurts the same or even more. There's really nothing I can say
or do...They simply arnt coming back. Life is alot shorter than I think
sometimes. I have no chioce but to go on. I can only grieve so much
but I must go on....

Jenni asked me if I love her 3 months before she died.
I nevered answered her becuase of whatever hung ups i had.
Im not affriad to tell someone I love them anymore. Im not afriad to love anymore.
Im not afraid if I get hurted anymore....
Jenni dosnt feel anything. Jenni is dead.

 

[Singularity]

I'm definitely afraid to love again..it's scary not knowing how another person is going to react in a relationship; whether they will love back or not. And if you know how it feels to loose someone, you are only more cautious about who you let in. I honestly like being single right now, but there is a part of me who wants to take that risk again, also a part of me that doesn't want to get hurt.

It really is inner turmoil. Lol

 

[frey12]

Fear is to be overcome. If you let it paralyze you then you are just wasting your life.

If you have had a relationship before then you have the experience to have another one. When you don't have the expeirence then you have to fear not being able to make the experience happen. Also Nilla though you did no work on your end to make the relationship happen does not mean there was no work put into it on the other end. Nothing just happens even when you perceive it as just happening.

 

[soulseeker]

Both are equally hurting- hunting for newer relationships and living a lonely life.
There is no easy escape. Outside relationships, try to find out stuff which makes you happy.
You should first learn to take care of yourself by yourself.

 

[ShybutHi]

Fortunatly I have not been hurt in a relationship. Unfortunatly I have never been in a relationship.

I would love to be in a relationship with a nice women but I am also sort of scared at the whole prospect because I would not know how to approach it.

I can only imagine the pain of being rejected by someone who you once loved... That must hurt a hell of alot and like everyone, I hope it will never happen, but you have to be realistic and realize that this can easily happen and does to many many people.

I guess you just have to wait until you feel ready again when you meet a special person that you click with. I guess that could take months to years and to some maybe even decades.

There is one thing that I personally would never do... That is getting into a relationship with someone just for the sake of a relationship. I believe there HAS to be a special spark with the person and you have to be able to talk to each other on the same level with honesty being the prime factor.

 

[LoneKiller]

Before I begin, this thread isn't directed at any member here whatsoever. I don't know any of you irl or well enough here to accuse you of something I detest so much.

Very few things piss me off more than people who are phony in their behavior and how they treat me. A strong example would be my aunt and uncle. They're the type who wear Loonies in their penny loafers if you know what I'm saying.

When you talk with them they pretend that what you are saying is interesting and cool, when in truth they couldn't care less. One could say that at least they are making the effort to be polite. Not in my books! I can see right through them.

This kind of behavior is an insult to my intelligence. I'd rather they speak their minds and be honest. If they don't know or care about what I say, tell me. I'd have more respect for them. I understand that they are family, but **** that. That doesn't give them carte blanche to be insincere pricks.

Any of you know people like this?

God Bless.
LK

 

[EveWasFramed]

Yes. Id much rather someone tell me that I'm boring and they don't have even the least bit of interest in what I'm saying. Much better than them being polite enough to spare my feelings.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I dont have any moral, vakues, feelings, intelligences.ect
I hear nothing....i see nothing...and do nothing.

 

[SophiaGrace]

A lot of people are like that.

They pretend not to reject me because of how ugly I am, but I know the truth anyway.

 

[Limlim]

Have you told your family that that is how you feel LK? Take the first move towards sincerity. If you haven't told them then aren't you acting just as they are?

 

[Lonesome Crow]

A lot of people are like that.

They pretend not to reject me because of how ugly I am, but I know the truth anyway.

Yeah...i get that.
Mother fuckers have no pity upon me.
******* just hates me for breathing.
I went and the **** up the jene pool...

I personally think, i enhanced it

 

[Felix]

That's bad.

But the worst are the ass-likers, those who suck-up somene... That's a pretty nasty thing to witness.

 

[LoneKiller]

I dont have any moral, vakues, feelings, intelligences.ect
I hear nothing....i see nothing...and do nothing.

So how do you see and type your posts?