Hi there

[Tiredmomma]

I aL ways hate doing intro posts. I never know if I say enough or not enough…..
I’m a 51 yr old F. Been married to the same man for over 25 years. I just don’t know how I feel about him. I have so many issues with him that I am hoping someone can help me with. I am far from perfect myself. But. I feel like I have given so much. And it’s gone unnoticed. I feel my husband is an alcoholic, workaholic. And this is just one of the things that I don’t know how much longer I can put up with.
I am not working at the moment due to a bad car accident, but, before this I owned my own retail business.

FYI

marriage issues began way before my car accident.

 

[Finished]

Welcome to the forum! I'm sure you'll get some good advice on this forum just be patient it comes a little slow. Have you talked to him about how you are feeling? Maybe he thinks you are mad at him or don't like him any more so he's staying distant from you?

 

[Tiredmomma]

Thank you !
we have had so many conversations. So many. There are some issues like his drinking I’ve just accepted. Then there is personal hygiene Issue…… and he refuses to discuss. I truly at a total loss on what to do.

 

[StarDust]

Greetings, being same age, thought I would share how I handle my own situation...

I’m a 51 yr old F. Been married to the same man for over 25 years.

I am also 51, married for 20 years.

I just don’t know how I feel about him. I have so many issues with him that I am hoping someone can help me with.

I learned nothing more frustrating than trying to change people or have them respond to us in a different manner. I had accept the way my husband is (although I may not like some attributes, he is the way he is)

I am far from perfect myself. But. I feel like I have given so much. And it’s gone unnoticed.

Stop giving and draining yourself. Find something to do that rejuvenates you... a creative outlet is usually the way to go.

I feel my husband is an alcoholic, workaholic. And this is just one of the things that I don’t know how much longer I can put up with.

My husband use to smoke. If I asked him to cut down, he smoked more. Everyone has right to live life and make own decisions... and will also face consequences of those decisions. After heart procedures... my husband final "got it" and quit smoking. All you can do is voice your concerns, then let it go.

I am not working at the moment due to a bad car accident, but, before this I owned my own retail business.

Sorry to hear that. Has your husband be supportive to you? What keeps me with my husband is that I know if anything ever happened to me, he would be by my side. However, day to day living he has his own preoccupations.

FYI

marriage issues began way before my car accident.

A friend and I were walking one summer day and we spoke about men issues. As said, we are not men, therefore do not think like them - and men do not think or are same as women. Acknowledging that can be powerful ultimately, we agreed neither of us want to start over with a new relationship, but rather work to navigate the one we have.

 

[Tiredmomma]

Greetings, being same age, thought I would share how I handle my own situation...

I am also 51, married for 20 years.

I learned nothing more frustrating than trying to change people or have them respond to us in a different manner. I had accept the way my husband is (although I may not like some attributes, he is the way he is)

Stop giving and draining yourself. Find something to do that rejuvenates you... a creative outlet is usually the way to go.

My husband use to smoke. If I asked him to cut down, he smoked more. Everyone has right to live life and make own decisions... and will also face consequences of those decisions. After heart procedures... my husband final "got it" and quit smoking. All you can do is voice your concerns, then let it go.

Sorry to hear that. Has your husband be supportive to you? What keeps me with my husband is that I know if anything ever happened to me, he would be by my side. However, day to day living he has his own preoccupations.

A friend and I were walking one summer day and we spoke about men issues. As said, we are not men, therefore do not think like them - and men do not think or are same as women. Acknowledging that can be powerful ultimately, we agreed neither of us want to start over with a new relationship, but rather work to navigate the one we have

 

[Tiredmomma]

I’ve learned to accept a lot , look the other way. And 90% of the time that works. Then one day he disappoints me again or breaks my heart and I get angry all over again. I can deal with the drinking , smoking , porn. But. The personal hygiene and his dismissive attitude about my problems …… that’s harder to accept.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Welcome to the forum.
I have learned a lot from being married to an alcoholic (we aren't together anymore). Is your husband abusive at all? Feel free to PM me, if you'd like.

 

[Butterfly 2]

Hi and welcome! First of all, congratulations on hanging in there for over 25 years. No one can say it's always easy, but like stardust, you seem like you want to make things work out and that's probably the most important part.

I wish you well and I hope you can find enough other things in your life to keep you happy and I hope you enjoy it here!