Homage to Chuck Norris

[user 108508]

^lmfao @ the last one - priceless!

~ Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

~ Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.

 

[Outcast]

^^^ hahaha I knew you'd like it! I added that one for you. I'm a sucker for dirty jokes.

 

[DVEUS]

[video=youtube]

 

[user 108508]

^^^ hahaha I knew you'd like it! I added that one for you. I'm a sucker for dirty jokes.

Aww, bless your heart - thank you! In return, these are Chuck jokes are just for your entertainment.

~ Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.

~ Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

~ Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying "booya".

 

[Outcast]

Aww, bless your heart - thank you! In return, these are Chuck jokes are just for your entertainment.

You are most welcome. Those were all good by the way, gave me a good laugh. I'll try and continue the dirty joke trend.


- Chuck Norris is required to maintain a concealed weapon license in all 50 states in order to legally wear pants.

- Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground.

- They once made a "Chuck Norris" brand toilet paper, but it wouldn't take **** from anybody.

 

[user 108508]

You are most welcome. Those were all good by the way, gave me a good laugh. I'll try and continue the dirty joke trend.

Touche, my friend! LOL...legally wear pants.

~ 70% of a human's weight is water. 70% of Chuck Norris' weight is his dick.

~ Chuck Norris can impregnate a woman through anal sex.

~ When Chuck Norris plays monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.

~ Chuck Norris is currently in a legal battle with the makers of Bubble Tape. Norris claims "6 Feet of Fun" is actually the trademark for his penis.

 

[Outcast]

^ The first one is hilarious. xD

- Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.

- Chuck Norris doesn’t have hair on his balls because hair doesn’t grow on steel.

 

[user 108508]

^hehe, I had a feeling that one would make you chuckle. Love the condom one, too. How about......

~ Chuck Norris' dick is so big, it has it's own dick, and that dick is still bigger than yours.

~ A rogue squirrel once challenged Chuck Norris to a nut hunt around the park. Before beginning, Chuck simply dropped his pants, instantly killing the squirrel and 3 small children.

~ Chuck Norris was originally offered the role as Frodo in Lord of the Rings. He declined because, "Only a pussy would need three movies to destroy a piece of jewelery."

~ Pee Wee Herman got arrested for masturbating in public. The same day, Chuck Norris got an award for masturbating in public.

~ Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the **** down.

 

[Savage86]

* Chuck Norris once hit a guy so hard the guy starved to death rolling.

* The Earth never used to spin on its axis until one day many years ago when Chuck Norris sneezed.

* In the original version of the bible BC meant Before Chuck.

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* Chuck Norris once hit a guy so hard the guy starved to death rolling.

* The Earth never used to spin on its axis until one day many years ago when Chuck Norris sneezed.

* In the original version of the bible BC meant Before Chuck.

 

[Outcast]

- Chuck Norris' first job was as a paperboy. There were no survivors.

- The phrase 'balls to the wall' was originally conceived to describe Chuck Norris entering any building smaller than an aircraft hangar.

 

[Erevetot]

this thread needs to be revived

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Chuck Norris puts curtains on his Windows 8

Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the **** down.

Chuck Norris visited the "virgin" islands...... when he left it was renamed to the islands.

Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

 

[Outcast]

^lmao

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[user 108508]

~ Chuck Norris doesn't eat turkey at Thanksgiving. He eat Big Bird...all by himself.

~ Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.

~ Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.