Homicidal and suicidal thoughts

[In a quagmire]

every once in awhile I have these thoughts....thoughts about walking around shooting people. Some of them have done wrong to me others were just in the area. Basically everyone around me! I fear these thoughts because sometimes there hard to control and I don't know what causes them. I thought it was the music and games I listen to and play but I think it could be some sort of disorder, I am easily angered and I have low motivation and I don't know what to do! I don't wanna see a therapist for fear that theyll tell others cos its only confidential if it doesnt envolve you or others being hurt or killed so the only thing I can think of is to kill myself because it would be selfish to stay alive and hurt others but I dont wanna die cos Id miss people to much like the love of my life Chelsea! I want to see a therapist but I'm afraid to. and its not like i dont care about others when others I love are sad I try to help them and when I watch movies that have people dying and their friends or family crying and morning I cry too just like I cry to certain song cos there so sad! I cried to the movie The Green Mile when the big Black dude got executed and I cry to the song My Immortal by Evanescence I dont know what to do Can someone please give me advice on this!!! I don't want to hurt others I know these thoughts arent right and I wanna stop them!! Please help me!!

 

[Blue Sky]

every once in awhile I have these thoughts....thoughts about walking around shooting people. Some of them have done wrong to me others were just in the area. Basically everyone around me! I fear these thoughts because sometimes there hard to control and I don't know what causes them. I thought it was the music and games I listen to and play but I think it could be some sort of disorder, I am easily angered and I have low motivation and I don't know what to do! I don't wanna see a therapist for fear that theyll tell others cos its only confidential if it doesnt envolve you or others being hurt or killed so the only thing I can think of is to kill myself because it would be selfish to stay alive and hurt others but I dont wanna die cos Id miss people to much like the love of my life Chelsea! I want to see a therapist but I'm afraid to. and its not like i dont care about others when others I love are sad I try to help them and when I watch movies that have people dying and their friends or family crying and morning I cry too just like I cry to certain song cos there so sad! I cried to the movie The Green Mile when the big Black dude got executed and I cry to the song My Immortal by Evanescence I dont know what to do Can someone please give me advice on this!!! I don't want to hurt others I know these thoughts arent right and I wanna stop them!! Please help me!!

It seems to me like your punishing yourself with these thoughts and that your fearfull that you will end up hurting someone. I think that seeing a therapist would help you, and I don't think that a therapist would tell the authorities, because these are thoughts that your having , there not actions. Even if the authorities were informed, your not going to be punished for something you haven't done.These people are professionals and will try to help you. And it also seems to me that you want these thoughts to stop, so I would do whatever it takes to get help to stop these negative uncontrolable thoughts.