I've constantly had suicidal thoughts for five years. They come and go, each resurgence worse than the previous one. I usually chicken out, but I've gotten so close to OD'ing on pills.....I don't want to live like this. Everything is stressing me out........
Hopelessly Suicidal.....
- Thread starter Chyrux
- Start date
Help Support Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum:
E
evanescencefan91
Guest
*hugs chyrux*
hey it's ok hang in there, have you tried consoluing or seeing a therapist? please if you seriously start thinking about oding or something please call sucide hotline or something,
what is making you feel like this? I can almost guarantee that whatever it is, it will pass in time
I thought about sucide in high school and a little in my freshman year, but I haven't really thought about it recently,
though sometimes i still feel pretty miserable and angry, I do worry a lot that I'll never really be happy, but I donno i guess maybe I'll wait it out so I can see how the rest of my life turns out, I don't want to walk out of the theatre without seeing what happens next,
And I have to remember that I've come along way and I'm sure you have too,
I still get down in the dumps a lot, but I get out of it within a day or two, but I haven't felt as sick and miserable as I did in highschool,
I don't live at home with my mother who was not very emotionally supportive, and I've actually managed to make a few good friends since I've come here
so it's not over yet, there is still hope
*hugs*
hey it's ok hang in there, have you tried consoluing or seeing a therapist? please if you seriously start thinking about oding or something please call sucide hotline or something,
what is making you feel like this? I can almost guarantee that whatever it is, it will pass in time
I thought about sucide in high school and a little in my freshman year, but I haven't really thought about it recently,
though sometimes i still feel pretty miserable and angry, I do worry a lot that I'll never really be happy, but I donno i guess maybe I'll wait it out so I can see how the rest of my life turns out, I don't want to walk out of the theatre without seeing what happens next,
And I have to remember that I've come along way and I'm sure you have too,
I still get down in the dumps a lot, but I get out of it within a day or two, but I haven't felt as sick and miserable as I did in highschool,
I don't live at home with my mother who was not very emotionally supportive, and I've actually managed to make a few good friends since I've come here
so it's not over yet, there is still hope
*hugs*
joey43
Member
yo step back.......and use what god has given u and dispute that first!
S
SophiaGrace
Guest
Been there, might go there again though I hope not. Sorry you are there.
evanescencefan91 said:*hugs chyrux*
hey it's ok hang in there, have you tried consoluing or seeing a therapist? please if you seriously start thinking about oding or something please call sucide hotline or something,
what is making you feel like this? I can almost guarantee that whatever it is, it will pass in time
I thought about sucide in high school and a little in my freshman year, but I haven't really thought about it recently,
though sometimes i still feel pretty miserable and angry, I do worry a lot that I'll never really be happy, but I donno i guess maybe I'll wait it out so I can see how the rest of my life turns out, I don't want to walk out of the theatre without seeing what happens next,
And I have to remember that I've come along way and I'm sure you have too,
I still get down in the dumps a lot, but I get out of it within a day or two, but I haven't felt as sick and miserable as I did in highschool,
I don't live at home with my mother who was not very emotionally supportive, and I've actually managed to make a few good friends since I've come here
so it's not over yet, there is still hope
*hugs*
Thanks for the advice:]
I can't talk to people about it....I always talk in a roundabout way.
I'll mention things that are tangent to the point, but never pierces the true problems...
I have a hard time expressing my emotions so.......
It's NOT that you have chickened out, it's that deep down inside of you, you DON'T want to do it. You know that it isn't a solution. You've made it this far so obviously you can do it. Express yourself here, no one here will judge you there are a lot of people who've felt/feel the same way.
Peter Lorre
Well-known member
"Nor ear can hear nor tongue can tell The tortures of that inward hell."
i'm sorry you're going through this, but hang in there. There are nice things out there (that are worth living for) for you aswell!
i'm sorry you're going through this, but hang in there. There are nice things out there (that are worth living for) for you aswell!
As someone who is where you are (based solely on what you've said in this post) I'd like to offer this small piece of advice.
Try to work out why you can't go through with it. What's keeping you alive?
If you can answer that, it may help.
Then again, it might not. There's no guarantees with things like this, I'm afraid. Feel free to ignore this. It's probably wrong anyway.
Try to work out why you can't go through with it. What's keeping you alive?
If you can answer that, it may help.
Then again, it might not. There's no guarantees with things like this, I'm afraid. Feel free to ignore this. It's probably wrong anyway.
redrotary13b
Member
- Joined
- Mar 23, 2011
- Messages
- 19
- Reaction score
- 0
My fiancé recently broke up with me and I had written suicide letters to my family members, my ex, and my best friend. I chose the rope. But I went over to my best friend's house and we talked and it was comforting. And here I am. Still writing, still breathing.
It still hurts like a mofo but I'm getting by, my best friend talks to me and even though I'm repeating like a record player. She understands and listens. Just get a friend who will listen no matter what.
I'm not deleting the suicide letters, nor am I getting rid of the rope anytime soon (ropes are useful in other things anyway!!). But because of my one friend, I'm alive. She's divorced with 4 kids and has a hard enough time. Her kids also brought me so much joy and it made me realize that I can still be happy.
I figured out my ex and I just weren't meant to be together. Am I lonely? YES!! I still feel it and that side still wants to make me commit suicide. But! I have a friend and her kids who just put such happiness in my heart that it wouldn't be fair to them, nor myself if I were to kill myself.
I'm not afraid of dying. After having a near death experience I became used to the fact that I can die any given day. But my ex is not worth it and neither are any other problems. I just want to be happy and not lonely, I guess it'll take time. But perhaps, it'll be worth it.
It still hurts like a mofo but I'm getting by, my best friend talks to me and even though I'm repeating like a record player. She understands and listens. Just get a friend who will listen no matter what.
I'm not deleting the suicide letters, nor am I getting rid of the rope anytime soon (ropes are useful in other things anyway!!). But because of my one friend, I'm alive. She's divorced with 4 kids and has a hard enough time. Her kids also brought me so much joy and it made me realize that I can still be happy.
I figured out my ex and I just weren't meant to be together. Am I lonely? YES!! I still feel it and that side still wants to make me commit suicide. But! I have a friend and her kids who just put such happiness in my heart that it wouldn't be fair to them, nor myself if I were to kill myself.
I'm not afraid of dying. After having a near death experience I became used to the fact that I can die any given day. But my ex is not worth it and neither are any other problems. I just want to be happy and not lonely, I guess it'll take time. But perhaps, it'll be worth it.
Thanks for all of your messages with hope.:]
I don't know why, but I have a hard time communicating.
I can talk about things that are bothering me on a superficial level. I can't delve any deeper...and it's really getting to me. I want to scream. I want to let everyone know what's going on, but something's hindering me from reaching out.
My friends KNOW they don't know anything...and it's starting to get to them. I'm losing them...and I'm scared it's for good....
I don't know why, but I have a hard time communicating.
I can talk about things that are bothering me on a superficial level. I can't delve any deeper...and it's really getting to me. I want to scream. I want to let everyone know what's going on, but something's hindering me from reaching out.
My friends KNOW they don't know anything...and it's starting to get to them. I'm losing them...and I'm scared it's for good....
E
evanescencefan91
Guest
well you're communicating things here so that's a start, and it's understandable that it can be hard tog et things off your chest, maybe try writing down on a piece of paper, just to get started you don't even have to show it to anyone, maybe even try expressing yourself, in song poetry or art maybe try to imagine yourself talking to others about your feelings, and eventually try telling someone for real
try saying maybe just one thing,
ou haven't already just tell your friends what you've told us, that something is bothering you but you're having trouble talking about it, and you're not ready yet, and ask that you patient and ask if they can just be there for you
like if you can maybe just post one word a noun that has been upsetting you
and try it from there
*hugs*
if y
try saying maybe just one thing,
ou haven't already just tell your friends what you've told us, that something is bothering you but you're having trouble talking about it, and you're not ready yet, and ask that you patient and ask if they can just be there for you
like if you can maybe just post one word a noun that has been upsetting you
and try it from there
*hugs*
if y
E
evanescencefan91
Guest
great start
ah money issues many of us have similar problems, can you donate your plasma? or partake in any medical experiments, I've done a few of those a few times,
I don't have a whole lot in terms of finical background
one great tip of finical advice I can give though is mooching!
if you see a friend or aquantance, eating a bag of chips ask for some ( polielty)
go to the mall, and look for free sample stations,
then put on a variety of disguises ( or if it's busy, just nonchoalnelty come back every couple of minutes and hope they don't remember you) and keep taking free samples and then you've just scored a free meal
I also sometimes take coins from the take a penny leave a penny jars
( I may be morally bankrupt, but I still got change for the bus)
ya I'm sorry if that's not much help
but you're not alone and you can get though this
*hugs*
thanks for sharing
ah money issues many of us have similar problems, can you donate your plasma? or partake in any medical experiments, I've done a few of those a few times,
I don't have a whole lot in terms of finical background
one great tip of finical advice I can give though is mooching!
if you see a friend or aquantance, eating a bag of chips ask for some ( polielty)
go to the mall, and look for free sample stations,
then put on a variety of disguises ( or if it's busy, just nonchoalnelty come back every couple of minutes and hope they don't remember you) and keep taking free samples and then you've just scored a free meal
I also sometimes take coins from the take a penny leave a penny jars
( I may be morally bankrupt, but I still got change for the bus
)ya I'm sorry if that's not much help
but you're not alone and you can get though this
*hugs*
thanks for sharing
S
SophiaGrace
Guest
You're only honeysuckle out of luck if you don't keep trying different solutions I think.
No Sophia you are exactly right, you are only honeysuckle out of luck if you don't keep trying different solutions or if you just give up.
I'm honeysuckle out of luck...
some stupid ass kids shot paintball guns at two of my tires and slashed the rest....for NO REASON.
And i'm still in high school, paying for insurance with a part time job. Can't afford to pay for new tires.
I have school to worry about too....
some stupid ass kids shot paintball guns at two of my tires and slashed the rest....for NO REASON.
And i'm still in high school, paying for insurance with a part time job. Can't afford to pay for new tires.
I have school to worry about too....
Ritchy Clayton
New member
- Joined
- Apr 2, 2011
- Messages
- 1
- Reaction score
- 0
Chyrux,I can empathize with you very well because I too have gone through a similar period of time.I went through counseling and today I am doing good and living an almost normal life. You are a good human being with your own unique assets and blessings which others are not fortunate enough to have.Everybody and everything has its share of good and bad and so does life. Do not be a sadist who takes pleasure in gratifying troubles and inflicting pain on himself. Accept the fact that you need help. Approach a counselor and things will change.Believe me. You need a change and you will be able to bring it on you.May God bless you.
I know I need help, but I can't do anything about it......
I have tried to reach out multiple times but it always gets ignored or the other person falls asleep on me...
it's scarred me. I can't reach out without the feel of loneliness.
I have severe abandonment issues. I stayed afterschool one time and I had no idea where my friends were. I called them but they didn't answer. Even though it was my school I started freaking out and having a full-blown panic attack. I was about to cry until another friend picked up. It's this kind of stuff that makes me feel really lonely.....and I can't talk to anyone anymore. I'm scarred that I'll get abandoned or left alone.
I've been crying four or five times a day everyday for the past week.
I woke up this morning crying and I cried quietly on the bus. I fell asleep crying when I got home from school. I just woke up and cried again before coming on this site. Things are getting worse.......
I have tried to reach out multiple times but it always gets ignored or the other person falls asleep on me...
it's scarred me. I can't reach out without the feel of loneliness.
I have severe abandonment issues. I stayed afterschool one time and I had no idea where my friends were. I called them but they didn't answer. Even though it was my school I started freaking out and having a full-blown panic attack. I was about to cry until another friend picked up. It's this kind of stuff that makes me feel really lonely.....and I can't talk to anyone anymore. I'm scarred that I'll get abandoned or left alone.
I've been crying four or five times a day everyday for the past week.
I woke up this morning crying and I cried quietly on the bus. I fell asleep crying when I got home from school. I just woke up and cried again before coming on this site. Things are getting worse.......
