Horrible night just made me realize how lonely I really am

[Fvantom]

I went to see some local bands tonight I was there with a band I kinda knew but everyone else was with friends, it felt so ******* awkward standing around by myself barely knowing anyone, Ive always had social anxiety and had trouble talking to people but tonight was especially bad, its like even when I try to get out and make things better, it doesnt work at all, Im losing a lot of hope =/

 

[ItsOnlyMe]

Been there. Always felt awkward. Gone to shows/parties by myself when no one cared to go with me, even my ex-bf would always turn me down. Always felt like the odd one out, alone, hardly anyone to hang out with at these events. Also went alone to a bar once because it was something that I wanted to experience without having to rely on fickle friends. Glad that I did it but ****, I felt lonely and awkward. You are not alone in regards to having these feelings. Sometimes, I feel that I am meant to feel lonely forever.

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

I went to see some local bands tonight I was there with a band I kinda knew but everyone else was with friends, it felt so ******* awkward standing around by myself barely knowing anyone, Ive always had social anxiety and had trouble talking to people but tonight was especially bad, its like even when I try to get out and make things better, it doesnt work at all, Im losing a lot of hope =/

Don't worry about it.

I know very much that awful feeling. Doing the "shuffle" as you stand around next to people who apparently don't know you're there, etc. etc.

I recently went to this barbecue thing with a couple of people I vaguely knew and lots that I didn't. I made small talk as much as I could all night.

This pretty girl came over, gave me a big smile and introduced herself to me - I said a few words in response, not even my name, then awkwardly shifted away because I was so **** shy.

After all the chatter and stuff, I spent a good deal of time just stood on my own, feeling pretty wretched. I got home, sat down, put my head in my hands and just sat there in silence. I was really gloomy, pretty much convinced that I'd embarrassed myself, I was a social failure, I was just useless at interacting with people and all that stuff.

The reality? The people were just happy I was there. They thought I seemed quite confident when talking. That girl probably felt a bit put out, but that was a small mistake on part of my shyness. Everyone else was pleased that I showed up, stood around, talked some bull.

People honestly don't really notice if you're awkward about 75% of the time I'd say. Everyone just wants to have fun at these sorts of events. Those people won't care, even if you felt really shitty at the time.

Take comfort from that and realise it's not a big deal. Next time you're at an event, just try really hard to say hi to a couple of people you don't know. Give yourself a new goal and don't worry about the past stuff.

I don't know if you're the same, but I tend to really over-think social situations. These other people don't - and they've likely forgotten something that I'm worried about 2 minutes after I've talked to them - so why should that kind of thing be worried about?

I hope that sort of makes sense, feel like I'm rambling now :\

 

[Sci-Fi]

Yep I know exactly how you feel, feel the same why whenever I have to go to company parties. Sure I know most of everyone and I work indirectly with them but I don't really know them. It's the most awkward feeling ever, especially when they all have someone else they brought with them.

 

[Ak5]

Yes, you feel like you just want to bolt on out of there.

1. Enjoy yourself, your there for the music.
2. Make friends who like the similar bands you do.
3. When you make those friends, go with them to the concert.

As simple as that.

Oh, and if you say it's hard to enjoy the music without any company, then I completely understand you, just try the best you can meanwhile.

 

[SophiaGrace]

Enjoy yourself while you're out and about. Figure out ways to "butt into" conversations in public venues.

 

[JamaisVu]

I know the feeling. It's uncomfortable to stand around alone, especially if there's a lot of milling around and waiting, but when I see someone alone at a concert I think "that person is confident and independent, I should be more like that" so don't let it get you down too much.

 

[guld]

It really is awful, feeling lonely and uncapable of changing it (I don't know whether that's true in your case, feeling that you can't change the situation that you're in, but I guess your experience had to come with some feelings in that direction, at the moment anyway).

I have that feeling constantly. As someone said, it just feels, sometimes, as I'm meant feel alone (and uncapable of changing it) forever. I find it really hard to connect with people in the first place - the small talk that should clear the path for some deeper connection always stay's at small talk, and like 90% of the time not even good small talk (in my own opinion). And all of that just gets 100 times worse if you haven't got anyone to lean against from the beginning, and get some positive feelings by - like some friends that you can feel relaxed with.

I usually think it feels better though if you're in a situation where you actually don't know people from before - I try to think that the people aren't anyone(s?) that I'm going to have to have anything to do with in the future, if I don't want to... and suddenly I feel a little bit more relaxed, and making some contact seems easier and even a little bit of fun.